What Is Marriage To You?

Marriage to me was about making a family. My husband is my family. He's connected to me in a way that is as powerful (if not moreso) than my connection to my siblings or my parents, and now society and the law recognize that without question. It's a hugely powerful thing, although in all honesty has affected my daily life very little.

It's not for everyone, and it doesn't have to be. But for me and my relationship, we became family long ago, and the marriage was just for society to play catch-up. It was unquestionably the most sensible thing for us.

 

I think marriage is a difficult commitment to make .... a lot of the time I get the feeling it's an odd sort of tradition that we humans aren't "perfect" enough to make work the way it "should."

 

I can't precisely describe what it means to me. It's only two months since I married, but my husband is the most important person in the world to me. He was the most important person in my world before we married, but I feel it even more now.

In the moment when I faced him to exchange our marriage vows I knew I was entering into something very significant and very special and it was incredibly emotional and difficult to maintain composure.

Instead of being two people in a relationship/partnership, we are now at one, within a marriage. Being at one, with another person is the significant point to me. It's a right we were denied for too long.

 

Simple

Legal marriage(or marriage through the state): something that benefits your taxes,insurances etc.
It is romantic no doubt but if it doesn't work out you can always get a divorce.
I know some couples that only married for the technical reasons so romance isn't always a factor (even though they do love each other,they just didn't see a sense in marriage)

Marriage in church: mostly romantic,religious for some.There are no legal benefits and you can't get a divorce so it's a purely romantic thing.

That about sums up my thoughts on marriage really...

 

The respect of society, my respect in return toward society partly restored, security, a sense that I have a future in which I and a prospective partner could live with dignity...a lot of things. It comes back to respect.

 

Marriage is a legal paper that lets someone else take half of your stuff if you ever separate from one another.

That's about it.

Not much more to it really.


You don't need marriage to be in love, but you should have the option and that's why I'm happy they've finally given us that right! Whoo!



I've never gotten the big deal about marriage myself though.

It doesn't even work most of the time.


I've seen lots of marriages fall apart, yet to see one that actually stood the test of time.

 

For me it means you are making a strong commitment of love to your partner, like Patrick said it's about becoming one. Also if anything bad were to happen they have the legal right to use power of attorney or make the decision to take their partner off of life support. For me the last one is important as it's something civil partnerships don't have also genrally you spend more time with your spouse where you discuss these things whereas you may not with your family.

 

The romanticism is definitely great and all, and certainly a large part of what marriage means to me. But I think a lot of people forget that there's more to marriage than "I love you, let's stay together forever." We had a huge victory today, but the struggle was (and is) about more than having our relationships being respected or legitimized in the eyes of society.

If I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, I'm going to ask them to marry me. Not because it's romantic, and not because it's what's expected, but because if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with someone, I'm going to expect them to be there when I die. (Or vice versa). And when I'm lying in a hospital bed on my dying breath, I want to be able to see them. I want them to have the legal right to stay by my side through the night. I want them to have the right to take leave from work. I want them to be able to collect benefits and insurance upon my death.

Perhaps a bit morbid. But that's not all:

If I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, I want us to be able to apply for joint adoption or foster care rights. I want us to be able to have a family that belongs to both of us under the law. I want to be allowed to live in "families only" neighborhoods. I want us to receive family rates for insurance. I want my health insurance to cover them as well. I want to be able to take off work to care for them when they're sick.

If I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, If I love someone that much, I want them to be a part of my life. That's what marriage is to me.

 

To me, personally?

Very much overrated. Though it's good for those who want the option and see worth in it, it has no value to me whatsoever.



Not that that should surprise anyone.

 

For me it's about declaring to the world that I want to spend my life with this person and that I'm whole-heartedly committed to them and only them.

 

I completely agree with what you said. Marriage would be nice but its not necessary. Marriage is the bond of two lovers, a commitment of fidelity, and something no one should rush.

 

it should be two people who love each other being together till death do them part etc but its turned into a big complicated thing

 

I agree.

 

A promise of devotion between people who love each other.

 

A lot of what Weekender said about rights etc.

To me marriage is a very big commitment and a bit nerve wracking, but something I would want whether it was with a man or woman.

It comes with a certain set of benefits you wouldn't get if you weren't married or just in a partnership. It is a ceremony symbolic of love. For me it is also a sacred event in my life. I want that level of commitment and I will not settle for less.

Perhaps one of the biggest two reasons I desire marriage are: my faith. I want to show my love in a church ceremony whether with a man or woman. Also, to start a family. I want children and find it ideal to have the security of a marriage before starting one.

Just my .02¢

 

I think it would be appropriate to cite Justice Kennedy's conclusion in yesterday's same-sex marriage ruling:

 

I love that!!!

 

Equal marriage is religious authoritarians suffering.

And that's what brings me more joy than anything.

The dull cries of evil losing.