So I work at an amusement park, awesome job, and have always managed to stay out of drama in my department...until now apparently. Last night my one friend 'E' was informing me about the drama that went on at work yesterday and then said that our mutual friend 'T' had texted her something about me. 'T' was working with a new girl and I apparently got brought up in their conversation and the new girl asked "Oh, is _____ gay?" I actually got pretty annoyed when I was told this. I mean being gay isn't bad, I wouldn't be ashamed to be gay if I was, but I act pretty straight at work...well, I'm myself, but there's no real definitive signs that I'm into guys. Also note that 'E' doesn't know I am bi so she didn't understand my annoyance. Tonight I texted one of my friends and I asked him "If you didn't already know I was bi and just assumed I was straight, would there be any reason to assume I was gay?" I was expecting a no answer but got the opposite. Apparently he doesn't know straight guys that gossip as much as I do and just "little things", he didn't specify what. So I apparently act gay and don't know what to take from this. I'm annoyed that someone new, who doesn't even know me is talking about me behind my back...but I'm also annoyed that people think I'm into guys simply by just being me. I mean yes, I'm into guys but I shouldn't be defined as being into guys by how much I gossip, or how I dress, or how I style my hair. What do you guys think?
Of course you shouldn't be defined by those stereotypes. However, there's no way to make everyone stop enforcing them. It's not your fault that they associate your behavior and appearance with an attraction to men, but I don't think there's any way to stop people you don't kmow from doing that. You're rightfully pissed. Try talking to the girl, you don't even have to tell her why you care. You can just explain to her that sexual orientation has nothing to do with the way a person dresses or acts. I hope this helps!
I think you're getting paranoid. Yes, you can't control what other people think, but even some straight guys get labeled as gay because they aren't super masculine or have girlfriends/wives. That's the fault of the culture, not the people. Also, that new girl didn't seem to be malicious in asking about you. ---------- Post added 22nd Jun 2015 at 10:26 PM ---------- It seems like your best course of action is to not worry about what others think. Most people are even more ignorant of bisexuals than homosexuals, so it could be that girl sensed something. It could also be she was just asking in a more general sense (maybe even if she was wondering if you were straight - I have known straight girls who suspect men are gay for really stupid reasons like physical attractiveness).
See the issue is I don't exactly know who asked it...'T' magically forgot the girl's name after working with her all night. I think I know who it is, but not 100% sure. Also, I'm not out, so it would probably look weird to go up to her and start yelling about my sexuality. Truthfully I want to know why she thinks I'm gay if anything. I act my straightest at work, and the only possibly 'gay thing' would be hang out with girls (my department has a lot of girls and the guys are mostly dicks) and gossip. I know she wasn't being mean..she's actually generally nice to me, but it's the fact that she asked someone else and not me. Now that thought is planted in 'T's head and that bothers me. I would've rathered she asked me to my face than someone else. Not to mention this is the second time this year someone at work questioned my sexuality. The first time being after I started styling my hair to make it look nice.
