becoming more stereotypically Gay

It happened to me. Personally, it didn't really bother me. My advice would be to just let it happen and then to not to worry about it too much. I know that's easier said than done, though.

 

Just let it happen. This is a sign you're feeling empowered and free.

 

Everyone has both masculine and feminine sides, whether gay or straight. The social expectations of being straight call for a guy to focus on being masculine and repress his more feminine side.

Now that you have accepted yourself, your no longer bound by social convention and your just letting yourself be yourself.

 

I had that happened too, when I first accepted I was gay but wasn't out to anyone. Some people assumed I was gay and even asked about my "partner.". I guess it just happened when I stopped trying so hard to act straight. It's not a bad thing, and can even make coming out easier.

 

It's happening to me at the moment, I'm becoming vastly more feminine and less masculine. It's because I'm so comfortable with myself that my femme personality is now free whereas when I was straight I repressed it because I didn't want to get picked on even more at high school.

 

The straight world (alpha) males tend to live in the locker room mode (towel snapping, making fun, roughhousing, name calling etc) when together. Doesn't it seem to start in elementary school and persist into adulthood. We see it even in the corporate work world. It can be a fun environment. However, I've found that for me too that stuff is less appealing over time. I'm not out but I can imagine what you've been going through. Enjoy the changes.

 

Its happening to me as well. As Ive come to the realization that I was bisexual, it just kind of clicked in my head that for a long time Ive been trying to wear this macho personality that is the typical alpha male. And now that im aware of it, I can pretty much pinpoint to when i started putting up walls when i was younger. Anyways, since accepting my bisexuality, I feel like im being left alone to be the person I want to be instead of letting outside factors contribute. Im definitly a little more feminine in mannerisms now. Its not even something I was trying to do, it was just a "be yourself" thought process that happened. Unfortunately, having grown up in a homophobic family and working with homophobic people, I still tend to put up walls and shut people out. Sadly, the world is a judgemental place.

 

Before i came out i was a barbie boy and used to say words that athena from KOF say if i got to fight with someone,though my walk was also athena walk i didnt understand why boys cant walk like that that was in 6th grade
In 7th grade my friends didnt stop bothering me and i had to change that athena walking talking system and trying to be strong like her,in 8th grade i was a total new person rough voice wide legs walking trying to learn some curses as that was seen as manly
At 9th grade was my coming out
10th grade i start wearing more fashionable clothes and empracing my femme side in privite and play with make up also that was when i watched queer as folk and i was as proud as i can be emmett encouraged me to let that queen out
11th grade and im a fully queen again i missed walking like athena and talking in my innocent tone its way calmer and more comfortable i became even more fablouse in clothes and would wear some girly stuff i changed my hairstyle and i always clean shave now
12th grade is next year and now im even more fablouse this summer and trust me all this was in me but i was always told its wrong and that it would make me less of a man dunno why i cared about that
But dont think that every guy will go with the same cycle it depends on what was kept in you all those years

 

I imagine that are not subconsciously limiting your expression of femininity as much now that you don't have to worry about people thinking that you might be gay. It appears to me that the majority of men worry about being perceived as gay. Now that you are out, you don't have to worry about that anymore.

 

What exactly has changed? Is it your dress or manner? Was it almost an unconscious thing? If so, then yeah, it sounds like you are just becoming more comfortable with who you are.

 

It's pretty much been said before; it's almost that fear of being perceived as 'feminine' that can make you feel uncomfortable with the changes.

1) Who cares? You are who you are, you're probably just becoming more comfortable and letting loose. Masculine and feminine are relative social constructs of a time. In Japan, there's a drag equivalent that's just seen as a normal part of the men's lives, it doesn't matter. There's just too much focus on polarising masculine and feminine, when it's a spectrum.

2) Again, it's perspective and perception. I had a fear mostly to do anything sex wise that involved me being penetrated, simply because I thought it made me more feminine, or less of a man. I can tell you that now, it's utter shite; just be who you are. People can like it or they can't - opinions are like assholes though at the end of the day.

As long as you aren't condemning others for being who they are (I've had it recently from someone who is much more flamboyant/camp than me), then power to you. Try to surround yourself with people you get on with, and those who make you happy.

 

I just saw a recent video of myself being interviewed and OMG I couldn't believe how gay I come across now. Postures, gestures, speech patterns. It was definitely not something I was conscious of, just a result I guess of not trying so hard to be someone I'm not. It made me very happy. I guess that's one way to come out, just let myself act naturally and be who I really am. Hooray!

 

I know nothing about being gay, but I can share a little something I've been thinking about for a while...

My theory as it stands on why some gay people tend to procure effeminate and butch mannerisms respectively, and even psychologies, is this.

We all have both yin and yang inside of us (bear with me). That means we're all a bit gay, all a bit straight, all a bit masculine, all a bit feminine...
Society forces norms unto us: heteronormativity, cisnormativity etc.
I think that gay people face enormous challenges to their courage in coming out and living as they are.
Thus, when they have taken that step, they have already done something so terrifying once that they have a flame of courage ignited inside them.
That courage leaves them freer to express their feelings of masculinity and femininity that they had all along, and that many/most people have but are afraid to express.

Does that sounds reasonable?

hugs (*hug*)