Hi, I'm a lesbian I've been out for five years, but still it something that comes up, i get super emotional finding out that old friends I've known for years are convinced that I'm gay by choice or that being gay is a choice, being told that they beleive it's a choice is really offensive to me, I've been bullied since before puberty, abused, homeless, a d raped, all because I'm a lesbian and we'll people don't accept that part of myself, I stay calm and simply tell them that I have been through a lot to call my self a lesbian and I would rather choose to not go through any of that, but you see its not a choice. But anyhow it makes me feel super sad that old friends I've known for years think that way and it makes me depressed being around them when they just simply regent a part of who I am, and it feels like they don't respect me.
Absoloutley don't hang around people that won't accept you and bring you down. I avoid those types of people completely.
Hello, I merged your duplicate threads. It's perfectly okay to avoid intolerant and homophobic people. They were not true friends if they can't unlearn these hateful ideas, and most of the time it's peer pressure that makes them continue the hate. No one is born homophobic. Friendships don't always last forever. In any case, it sounds like it is time for you to expand your new friend group as an out and proud lady.
Thanks, my computer skills aren't the best, the majority of my friends are very nice to me, it makes me sad because some of these people I've known since I was a kid like over ten years, they'll say they think it's a choice and refuse to lissen to me and than expect me to just change the subject and pretend that it's not distroying me inside, and one of my best friends who says she accepts me, still want me to go hang out with one of these friends, she dosent understand how hard it is for me, and I don't have the words, and he's nice to me but at the same time I know now what he thinks and I'm not able to get past it. I'm going to pride in a week for the first time maybe I'll make some new friends, I'm also very quiet and shy most of the time so I have a hard time making friends, I'm the type of girl who has a few really deep friendships, an introvert making friends makes me nervous but the site has helped me alot
You should just try to limit your time with such people. Tell your best friend that you feel uncomfortable with that unaccepting friend and give examples; she may be able to talk to him in private. I know how it feels to be shy and introverted. I think going to pride will be really helpful. There will probably be some other new people who are just as nervous. Just try to push yourself to talk to others and look for people with similar interests.
Thanks, I have talked with her, one time I said to this friend who thought it was a choice why don't you be gay for a week and see how it goes, then my best friend tried to change the subject, she probably just wants us to all get along, he's like it's not that I think there's anything g wrong with being gay just that it's a choice, but to me this isn't okay.
Some people just don't think deeply. Try asking how he knows he is straight and if he ever chose to be straight? Moreover, why would someone choose to be gay?
There is nothing wrong with avoiding people who hurt you, or will hurt you. Either emotionally or physically.
How old are you and your friends? "It's not the same thing" is a bad excuse. Ask him to explain when sexual orientation is a choice and when it isn't with reasons.
Thanks, we're 25, if we were younger I wouldn't feel as sad as I do because by this time he is probably set in his beleifs, it makes me so sad and tired, anyways thankyou all for your support I haven't been online in some time but I appreciate your advice
Yeah, just talk with those people less while transitioning to a new group of friends. That's what I do when people say that my orientation is fake/result of trauma/etc.