Okay, I'm new here so I'm not quite sure how this works, but I'm a 16 year old girl, I've identified as bi with a female preference since I was about 13. I have only told a couple friends. I have dated A LOT of guys, but I don't do it because I like them. I feel pressured by my parents and friends and I date guys to cover up my sexuality so people don't question it. When I date guys I feel only a platonic bond with them. I am kind of grossed out my male genitalia. I get butterflies for girls often and I have since I was a young child. I have had crushes on guys, but again I feel like it's because I'm Covering up. I am just really lost and I don't know what I am and I really want to know. Thank you!
Hi and welcome, RagingPinecone! Dating guys to "cover up" is not infrequent, and it is possible to kind of have "forced" crushes on guys -- either forced by yourself, or your surroundings, because it's what you think you should feel. I'm just not sure you're asking yourself the right questions here. I would focus on your attractions, more than your experiences. If you have gotten (real) crushes on guys and been attracted to them and think you could fall in love with one -- then you're probably bi. If there's none of that, lesbian would be a better fit, since you sound pretty confident in your attractions to girls. Just to clarify a couple of the assumptions you made in your post. a) Sounds like you've dated guys in the wrong circumstances, so it makes sense that you didn't enjoy the experiences. Dating someone (guy or girl) when there's no chemistry, no affection, and no attraction is awkward and uncomfortable. Doesn't mean you're gay or bi. b) Being "grossed out" by male genitalia happens to straight and bi girls, too. So again, not conclusive. Do you think your friends/parents would react badly to your sexuality? Sounds like this hasn't been easy for you. Relax -- it's okay not to know. I get that you want to know, but there's no point in trying to rush the process. Realization will hit when it hits. You'll figure it out eventually, and then later you can tackle the question of coming out.
I was in the same situation and I still kinda am, but what I question about myself is if I'm a lesbian or a biromantic homosexual, since I'm absolutely not attracted to guys in a sexual way. You said you're grossed out by male genitalia, so it means you don't feel sexual attraction towards them. Do you get any romantic attraction towards them though? If yes, you might be biromantic homosexual, but do you feel those crushes you had were actual attraction, or did you get them just because you wanted to cover it up?
I can't answer that for you but I can give you some information needed so you can figure it out yourself. Lesbians exclusively have crushes on females. Sexual and romantic attraction are towards females only. Have you ever had a crush on a guy that wasn't pressured? If so then you could be biromantic homosexual. This is were you have crushes on both sexes but are only sexually attracted to the female sex. I sincerely doubt your bisexual as you said male gentilla grosses you out. But if you are sexually attracted to both genders then you are. Remember even though uncommon it is possible to have a different romantic orientation than your sexual orientation. You'll figure it out though. I hope this helps.
I don't think bisexual girls are grossed out by men's genitalia. I realized I was gay, not bi, because I am repelled by the way men smell. Plus, I like being around girls much more too. I think in time, things will become clearer to you.
