3 weeks ago I asked a boy out. He was kinda suprised and told me that it wouldnt work out because we were both bottoms. I dont know where he got that idea.Maybe because I'm feminine or something,since I never talked about these stuff.I am even a virgin. I never thought about it while thinking about this guy and now this just made me depressed.I guess I am more of a romantic person.Is it the first thing people think about?Have you ever turned down a person because they didnt fit your sexual role? and why is it so important? isnt it about pleasing your partner? why would you limit yourself in such a way?
Sex is an part of relationships that make it very intimate. It allows two people to connect in a way like no other. For some it's very important, to others less so. 'Right' and 'wrong' are not applicable here, this is more of a 'compatible' or 'incompatible' issue. If sexual fulfilment is high on the list of things that a person wants from a relationship, then naturally it will be one of the first things the person thinks about. Yes and no.. This is a distorted view. It's about pleasing your partner but also being pleased yourself. Relationships should never be about one-sided like this because a good, healthy relationship is characterised by both people's happiness. The view that it's about pleasing your partner is an early step on the path to potentially abusive relationships where one person gains significantly at the other's expense. However, it's a little sketchy that he would give you up so easily because it says that maybe he's just not interested in you. But if it was a legitimate concern of his and he didn't want to go down a slippery slope of potential sexual incompatibility and awkwardness, it's his prerogative. However you should be grateful that you aren't now in a relationship with someone who doesn't really want to be with you.
yes and that is the reason I can't be in a relationship with bi/pan man. I know I would not be in to the whole sex part cause to me it would be like trying to accept having a vagina. yea they would be happy but not me. it is very important cause I am also a bottom .I still would not have sex cause cisgender males just have a obsession with my front hole. like dam I told you that I don't use that hole.
It sounds like he was just assuming you were a bottom based on how you acted?? In which case you probably should have talked to him more about it. As for the question, relationships aren't only about sex but sexual compatibility is important in relationships unless you're okay with the person you're dating sleeping with other people. Everybody needs to feel satisfied and comfortable in the sexual part as well.
No, it's not all about the sex. If this were the case then everyone would be hooking up. If like to think that it starts off with sexual attraction (noticing their physique), then as you get to know them, I think that's what draws a lot of people in; their personality.
That is a really lame reason, and I am not sure this guy was being honest in his reasoning. In any case, you should accept what he said and move on. Yes, there are plenty of people who aren't so inflexible, and you deserve to be with them. Don't get hung up on this rejection.
To some people it's only about sex, to some that's a big part of it but they want more than sex. There are also people that care very little or not at all about sex. You may be the last one.
