I will be attending college in the fall at a fairly progressive and liberal school, and I don't know whether I should tell my roommate I am gay or not. I don't really care how he reacts, but I don't want him to feel uncomfortable, or if he finds out from someone else, I don't want him to wish I had told him earlier. Or should I just not tell him at all? I don't know.
You should tell him if you want to be honest with him, but I think it's better to get to know him a bit more earlier. At least that's what I would do :>
When you meet him for the first time you could be like "Hi, I'm [insert name], I like [insert hobby], also I'm gay. I just thought it would be better you know ahead of time since we'll be living together for awhile!". And if he freaks, get a different room-mate.
I came out to my dorm roommate after about a week. Moving in is really stressful, so I waited until the dust had settled and he would be more calm about it. He liked to crack jokes about it, but he wasn't mean or weird. We ended up going to an adult novelty store and picking out some stuff. I think you should tell your roommate. You will be living together, and freedom to be yourself in your own home is vital to a healthy college experience. If he gets too weird, just get a new roommate.
Tell him before you both arrive, so he can request a change if he is uncomfortable with the arrangement, and so you can move in with someone who you know is cool with it from day 1. He might not give a flip, and might even think it will be interesting to have a gay roommate for a change, if he is straight. IF he was chosen by the school as a match, and BOTH of you are gay, it could be a lot of fun.
If I was out to everyone I would probably fill out that annoying "interested in" box on facebook and add him before you guys moved in.
Don't feel uncomfortable I come out to everybody. I feel like things would be easier if you just tell the truth.
I would say that it's non of his business but I feel like if you don't care about how he would react then tell him remember this is up to you not me
the liberal part wont change anything:lol:, its always an age difference. he would be fine and if not, ask to get a new roomate
My college would not change roomates for the first few weeks- I guess the idea was to make people learn to get along. If your school has a policy like that, you might want to wait until the school will let you switch. That way if he had a problem with your being gay you're not stuck with a tense situation until they let you switch
In my experience most of the people don't care at all. I would say just tell him whenever it makes sense. I never tell anyone that I'm gay out of nowhere, but let them know as soon as the topic of "who do you find attractive", "Ex's" or "love life in general" comes up. Just don't lie to him if the topic comes up in conversation and everything should be fine. Most of the times we make more of a big deal of this sort of things than other people actually do. Also mate, if he feels uncomfortable that is his problem! he is the one that its creating a problem, not you!
I'm in the exact same position as you! Go Class of 2019 :eusa_danc This is how I handled it. I found my roommate and we got in touch through Facebook. We instantly hit it off, so we traded phone numbers. I believe it's a whole lot easier to tell them through text rather than tell them face to face, at least for me. So in general conversation, I asked him what his political views were and he responded that he's a diehard liberal. The conversation went along the lines of: Me: "I'm glad to be going to a liberal city." Him: "Me too, I'm all for the whole rights for everyone thing." Me: "Well that's good to hear because I'm actually gay. Glad you aren't homophobic." Him: "Not at all man. I wrote bills for LGBT rights in Youth in Government." I guess you could say I got lucky, and in all honesty I kinda did. However, the university threw a kink in my plan when they tossed my roomie and I into a triple with one other guy. That new guy seems nearly antisocial, so I haven't even had the chance to bring up a topic like politics and sexuality. I still haven't figured out how to tackle that one. I've never come out to someone face to face before, but that's the course I'm on with his new guy My biggest advice would be to just get a feel for how they may react and if it's positive, just do it!
