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What made you start questioning?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Hats, Jun 14, 2015.

  1. Hats

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    Hi everyone,

    I've been away for a while - life has got in the way and I sort of got myself out of questioning for a bit. Anyway, I'm questioning again :frowning2: I'm not seeking attention, but it's clear that something is driving me to do so and I don't understand what it is. So I was wondering, for those who didn't always know, did you start questioning because a particular thing happened, or did you suddenly start asking questions for no immediately obvious reason?
     
    #1 Hats, Jun 14, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2015
  2. SillySammy

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    Hi Hats,

    I'm having the same kinda question! I don't know and maybe it's not necessary to pinpoint it...
    =)
     
  3. MyLittleWorld

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    Lack of attraction to guys.
     
  4. Lyana

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    Everyone's experience is different, Hats. If someone has an experience that doesn't match yours, doesn't make yours any less valid. When you start questioning, or why, ultimately doesn't impact your actual orientation. I'm not even sure why you're questioning is all that important -- the main thing is to look for answers to your questions.

    I'd only fallen in love once, with a guy, and had only dated guys until I met a certain girl and just knew. No way I could be straight and feel like that. So I guess that was my "trigger."
     
  5. fxngirl

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    To me it happened six months ago. I was 18 and I still would shut out any guy who would show interest in me, because I was uncomfortable with the idea of being in a relationship with them and eventually have sex with them. I couldn't figure out the reason, and then I just started thinking about the possibility of being a lesbian.
     
  6. loveislove01

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    Having sexual dreams about a girl, and then crushing on my best female friend. I've had real crushes on guys too, so I know I'm bi/pansexual.
     
  7. littlemoose

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    I was on tumblr and i just kept seeing all this information on different sexualities and genders. When I found out different genders and sexualities were a thing, I knew I wasn't cis or heterosexual. However, I couldn't find any labels that fit me exactly, which caused me great stress in trying to find out who I was. The trouble was I didn't know what sexual attraction, romantic attraction, or gender identification felt like so I was busy trying to find my sexuality and romantic orientation based off what I didn't feel.

    Oh, the struggles of an angender aromanitc asexual.
     
  8. Foz

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    My first though was "I'm masterbating a lot to guys, I might be gay", I decided I wasn't gay because I didn't want to be and carried on watching gay porn. Then I started getting crushes on guys which made me face up to the fact that yes, I am gay.
     
  9. TheStormInside

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    Hm, I'd say hitting 30, with only one relationship under my belt and the knowledge that I wasn't exactly straight in the first place made me start questioning seriously. I started thinking about my life, what I want, and who I want to share it with.
     
  10. AsiaJ33

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    I started questioning when I was 14, when I developed quite a crush on a female upperclassman. I mean, I rarely was attracted to males anyway, and when I was, it was small stuff. I guess I just started developing feelings for this girl and it got bigger and bigger and then I realized I was looking at a lot of girls in a different way, and then I realized.
     
  11. guitar

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    It wasn't any one particular thing, it was little things over a long period of time. As a teenager I would be looking at a cute guy I was attracted to but think "well I'm just looking at his build" or whatever. As I started having relationships with girls, and friends began having them, we would talk and they would talk about how amazing sex felt and everything, and for me something always felt kind of "off." It wasn't how my friends described it.

    Over time I would notice myself checking out guys more and more, feeling less attracted to my girlfriend, and even kissing began to not have any spark. At that time I really began to question and evaluate who I was attracted to and why. Who was I really checking out when I was out and about, or looking at porn, or whatever?

    It wasn't until I started talking with a gay friend about these issues I was having that everything became crystal clear. Having someone to bounce these feelings off of who had experienced them himself really helped me to figure out and come to terms with my sexuality.

    It was never a case of "that guy has a cute butt... oh my god I'm gay!" Nothing like that, just little instances over a period of 5-10 years that finally started to become too much.
     
  12. AJ56

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    I started questioning my sexuality when I realized that I had feelings for a guy. I liked him A LOT. I liked him as more than a friend. But I knew I wasn't gay because I've had feelings for girls too. So that's when I knew I was bisexual
     
  13. sporn

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    I kind of started questioning my sexuality when I was twelve, but I didn't really accept it. I just kind of forgot about it. I started to question it again when I was fourteen and a girl asked me out. I wasn't attracted to her, but she reminded me of my sexuality. I was more ready to accept myself at that point. I tried to come out of the closet around that time, but the lack of acceptance made me question myself again. It's torture.
     
  14. mangotree

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    As a teenager - I used to look at straight porn on the internet, and I found myself wishing that I could see more of the guys and sort of ignoring the women in the photos.

    I also downloaded a lot of photos with ONLY women in them to try to convince myself that they were attractive and that they turned me on.
     
  15. Jax12

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    First relationship with a girl ended, that's the spark as it were. But before the relationship, I was essentially clueless about my gay identity.

    Technically speaking, my sexual orientation is bisexual, but I choose to identify as gay because in terms of relationships that's where I'm at right now.
     
  16. ChaoticMind

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    In short, hormones and puberty. I'm still questioning now, but it'll fall into place eventually.
     
  17. Starwind78

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    I've been unofficially questioning since around puberty, and especially when people in school started giving me shit about potentially being gay. Officially (?) when I allowed myself to put a name on what I feel toward women, has only been in the last two years (I'm 22).

    My big mental block seemed to be religion. I deconverted around three years ago. When I stopped thinking of lesbianism as immoral, unnatural, and disgusting, I indulged in fantasies that were brimming below the surface of the butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings I'd sometimes get with women.
     
  18. sweetfemme90

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    Hi Hats!

    The older I get the less I remember parts of my childhood. When I was in grade 1 I remember coming home from school and my brother who was in grade 4 was upset. Rarely did I ever see my brother upset over anything, he was a tough guy and rarely expressed any kind of emotion like sadness. I asked my mom what happened and apparently my brother was hit in the head on purpose with a bookbag. My brother later told me who it was, and I immediately felt this joy and happiness come over me. I announced that I was in love with the girl (grade 5 btw) who hit my brother with her bookbag.

    Then my brother called me a dyke.

    For years he would call me a dyke. I remember having a dream I was on the way to this girls birthday party that she invited me to. I saw her ballet recital performance as well. I was a bumble bee in the show and she was a crow. She was an evil crow but I thought she was amazing and had an infatuation with her.

    Because I was a kid I never approached her and soon after she went off to Jr High and I haven't heard anything about her sense.

    Fast-forward to Jr. High, hormones were all in rage and I had difficulties understanding how to differentiate my admiration for girls and my infatuation for them. By the time 2008-09 rolled around I was in grade 12 and LGBT rights were louder than ever that year. It provided me with an opportunity to better get to know myself and explore my thoughts that I had. It was really scary and I didn't like the idea of being gay because I didn't want to be a minority. I only ever wanted to support minorities, not be one. Eventually with the help of support groups, social groups, and a few mentors and of course Ellen DeGeneres, I was able to embrace myself.
     
  19. Tetra

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    I knew something was off for my entire life, but of course, pushed it off, ignored it, never considered it to be a possibility, got offended when it was brought up that I might be, etc...

    Anyways, fast forward to me at age 17 or 18, I distinctly remember lying on the couch in my living room at like 3am because I couldn't sleep for some reason. I was staring at the ceiling, and it hit me that what was feeling so entirely off with my life was that I might ACTUALLY be gay. Anyways, it just clicked right then and there as I allowed myself to start the process of being okay with it and accepting it. I came out well over a year later when I was finally ready.
     
  20. IG88

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    Haha pretty much sums it up!

    I would notiçe hot guys, catch myself staring at them, and be like :eusa_danc , but when looking at girls I would ask myself "is she hot? Would other straight guys consider her to be hot?" and be like :confused: