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Stuck, fed up, regretting wasting years

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sunrays, Jun 8, 2015.

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  1. Phioo

    Phioo Guest

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    Ehh... not that big of a deal, you just kissed.
    You didn't, like, have sex with him, 'Cause that would be gross.
     
    #21 Phioo, Aug 31, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2015
  2. Yossarian

    Yossarian
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    It is normal for gay guys to kiss each other, just as it is normal for straight couples to kiss each other. If you want to see him again, call his number and ask him out on a date, maybe a movie or meal; somewhere where there is no or less drinking, so you can be in better control of the situation. If you like him on the date, then you can decide how far you want to extend your "learning experience".
     
    #22 Yossarian, Aug 31, 2015
  3. Sunrays

    Sunrays
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    Thanks everyone for the comments and advice, I really do appreciate it.

    I know this really shouldn't be a big deal, the logical side of me tells me that. I wouldn't think it was a big deal if it was anyone else. For some reason though, I just feel incredibly uncomfortable.

    I can't focus on anything, I feel anxious and distracted. I've talked to three different friends about it, they all say "it's no big deal, why are you so worried about this?" I can't explain it, I'm not worried about people finding out, I'm glad that I'm out to my friends, I just don't feel like me.
     
    #23 Sunrays, Sep 1, 2015
  4. MarthRoyIke

    MarthRoyIke
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    I'm sorry this comes so late; I haven't been on here in a while.

    I can relate to this 100%. What helped me is being placed in situation where I have no choice but to 'explain' without making a big deal. If someone uses the wrong pronoun, I correct them and continue like nothing is wrong. You kind of just have to push yourself, which I see you have done.

    What also helped is having a friend who isn't shy with publicly asking me about my love life. I was with him and a group of mutual friends who didn't know and they found out when this friend asked me "How did your date with that guy go?" He made several other non-subtle comments I had no choice to address that made it clear that I was gay. It helped push me out to that group naturally and organically and helped me get over the fear.

    Yep. Can relate to this also. I've had a few moments like that where I did something that came naturally but was uncharacteristic, then freaked out about it afterwards. It's usually around the first couple times I do something "out of my comfort zone". A few months ago I hooked up, then bawled my eyes out driving home because I couldn't emotionally handle the event. It's just all new to us and it take some time, experience, maybe even therapy, to learn how to handle it.
     
    #24 MarthRoyIke, Nov 3, 2015
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