I didn't find a proper category for this so I'm gonna post it here. I, as a person who likes men can say that the people in my country don't like homosexuals and I wonder why do they hate us so much? Because we're not what they expect us to be? The same goes to all the people out there that don't fit into the thing people consider "normal". I'm "closeted" and I haven't come out yet but I'm afraid of being rejected. Maybe that's because I'm going to disappoint my family because I won't meet their expectations to continue the bloodline or I'm going to be the "black sheep"? I'm tired of people who judge you based on your interests and preferences. There's also something else I'd like to ask - which countries are fine with that and where should I move because the people in my country don't accept individuals like me? Thanks in advance.
The first thing to say is that being gay is "normal". It's not an illness or a disease -- that's the official verdict, by the way, so it doesn't need to be, and cannot be cured. I fully appreciate that it may not be the prevailing attitude in your part of the world and even in the most advanced and liberal societies there will still be narrow-minded and bigoted people who try to put you down, but attitudes are changing. Fear of rejection and not living up to expectations is a reason why many people remain closeted, it's also why some men and women try to lead a life that is totally contrary to what they really think and feel. Remaining closeted or living a lie may satisfy family and society and fear might keep you there for a bit, but the pressue always tells in the end, because the one person who isn't satisfied is you. You can't live for other people or wider society - it's your life and you only get one crack at it. If I were to recommend countries it would be those in Western Europe. I think you are an EU citizen, so you should have the right to move when you are ready. If it's something you have in mind, you can make the move and build a new life and level of security for yourself before telling your family back home. It might be the best way to approach your situation.
Hello Anthonybg. It is very difficult growing up and being in a country where being gay is not accepted. It is here in the UK now (though there are still some people who don't like is), but when I was your age, over 30 years ago, the UK was not tolerant at all. So I do understand. It really is important to be who you are. It is the only way to be happy in life. Maybe that will mean moving away. Maybe it will mean trying to change things where you are. You may have to make compromises with other people, parents and so on at the moment, but don't make compromises with yourself. Be strong. And keep coming on this forum and others like it. You will be able to communicate with people who understand and care.
Anthonybg, I know how you feel about your country, looks like we are from the same country, my hometown is 4 hours away from Burgas. I also have the feeling that they don't like homosexuals, I understand your feelings about coming out. I don't live there anymore, but I go back home every year. I'm sorry you feel like this.. I also think that any other country in Western Europe will be better than ours. Not sure if you can private message me on here, but I'm here if you need to talk! Best of luck! Continue to be yourself!
Sure, I'd love to chat with you, Wondergirl! Btw, do you speak Bulgarian? And thanks for the support! ---------- Post added 9th Jun 2015 at 01:20 PM ---------- To be honest, I won't let anything to get on my way to happiness. All I want in this life is love and understanding. I'll make sure to post regularly on here. I don't have anyone else but you guys to talk to... ---------- Post added 9th Jun 2015 at 01:24 PM ---------- I'll immigrate as soon as possible. I can't live up to my country's reality. I guess you're right. But at the moment I'm planning to move in the States or in the UK.
Just a polite reminder that any conversations on Empty Closets need to be in English. You may not have noticed the policy on this, but it's detailed here (member conduct, item 5), if you missed it: Empty Closets - Code of Conduct
Arfff~~ hello fellow escapist i'd like to firstly say that, we are completely normal human being Gay only considered to be a disease up to 1970 ish, and after that the psychology association remove gay from the mental illness category with explanation that it is a normal variation (See?? we are normal) I'm on the exact same boat as you (that's why i refer you as fellow escapist). I'm moving to Europe once i finished my professional degree for another Master degree and probably permanent job there -finger crossed-. So far you have advantage of being an EU citizen which makes immigration stuff sort of easier than i am. Since i'm coming from 3rd world country, moving to US gonna be very hard considering the living cost and study tuition there. So my best bet is in Western European Country. About the blood line thingy, there are a lot of ways to raise children. From adoption to surrogacy. By the way you are not the only one who going to disappoint your family. My traditions obligated me as the eldest son to get married before my siblings, so they can be eligible to get married. And gay marriage is not allowed and even sanctioned so good luck for them =) Keep your spirits up We'll find our peace and happiness soon
Anthonybg, Yes, I speak the language. I grew up there, but left as soon as I was old enough to do so. PatrickUK, how can Anthonybg and I private message and exchange emails? I'm new here and still finding my way around the website? Thank you so much!
Wondergirl, you can only exchange private messages with other full members, so before you and anthonybg can do this you both need to apply for and be granted full membership status. This will require a minimum of 50 posts in various areas of the forum. The process is explained here: Empty Closets - Website FAQ
I also come from the same shit region, not Bulgaria, but very close. I moved out to a different country one month after I turned 18, basically I was too fed up with everything that is/was happening there and decided that my home is somewhere else. Nowadays, I come back only "for business". My last trip was two years ago, and I don't miss anyone there. Honestly, I stopped asking the why question a long time ago. Now that I'm older and way too comfortable with my life I don't give a damn about what they think about me. It's like I worry more about the penguins on the South Pole than I care about why they hate non-heterosexuals. On the side note, it's not just their hatred towards homosexuals, they also hate everyone and everything that's different from what they consider the norm. So it's not surprising that they also hate homosexuals, which comprise something like less than one percent of the population. They need to hate and the gays are the perfect target for that.
Well I'm not from Bulgaria, but Poland is not better - believe me. Calling someone gay is here just a normal insult term... I want to be comfortable with my life too and I know it would be much easier for you in other country, I feel the same way, so no worries - we just have to sustain it!
