Question about therapy/psychiatry

Psychiatrists and therapists can only help you as much as you open up to them. I guess you could say it's like a game of chess that you're showing to them, and they're helping you play. They can't help you if they don't see most of the board, or even all of it if possible. With practice, you'll get better at opening up over time, and there shouldn't be anyone more safe than a psychiatrist, assuming your psychiatrist is decent and competent.

 

Dain's post sums it up well.

I've been to numerous child psychologists when I was young, I'm not even sure how many. My issues continued though, and I finally sought some help in 2010. Went to about 3 sessions with a psychologist and got referred to a psychiatrist, who then diagnosed me with Bipolar disorder. I've since changed to a different psychiatrist and I am finally on the right dosage of meds. My moods still fluctuate but they're not as severe as pre-meds.

I was open about everything in my life. All the major things anyway. It's not easy to open up completely but it does get better with practice. You just need to take that first step. You could start off by telling him/her that there's something bothering you but you're not quite ready to talk about it. That would give you some time to get used to the idea of opening up, but it would be a way to let him/her know that there's more to it than what they already know.

 

Becky,

An important part of transitioning is learning to be more comfortable with yourself. To do this you need to learn to open up to others, to share your life with them and make them a part of yours. One of the reasons we go to therapy is to help us with this process.

There is a huge risk in trying to transition without spending the time needed for psychological growth. You are making the mistake of seeing your psychiatrist as someone who is not a part of your transition, seeing her as a sort of gatekeeper. You have already passed through the door a few weeks ago. The psychiatrist is just another challenge that you need to face along the way.

Unfortunately, this entire journey is wrought with risk and your sessions with the psychiatrist is no different. In the same way that we have to accept the fact that we might be hurt by transphobic individuals when we go out. You need to accept the fact that things might not go as planned with the psychiatrist, that everything might take longer than you expected. Like in the case of not letting our fears of transphobia stop us from leaving our home, you can't let your fears of what your psychiatrist might do stop you from healing your mind.

If you do have bi-polar disorder, you clearly need to have it treated and this should be seen as an important part of your journey. I know how devastating bi-polar disorder can be and when left untreated can be just as destructive as any other major psychiatric disorder. Online tests can be inaccurate and you might not have it but if you do, you definitely can't leave it untreated.

I was in a similar situation in the past, I have ADHD and went to to a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis. The first psychiatrist I went to, I focused exclusively on my attention problems, she gave me the medication that I needed and it ended it at that. However, I also had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder which I hid from my psychiatrist. The medication that I took for ADHD increased my anxiety and I eventually stopped taking it and dropped out of university. Years later after failing a few more times, I went to another psychiatrist and this time shared everything. I went through differential diagnosis that took me a year, trying different combinations of medications to treat my anxiety and ADHD and eventually I found a combination that worked which helped me finish a first degree with distinction and a second degree.

You don't really know how your bi-polar disorder might negatively influence your attempt at transitioning. We know that hormones cause mood swings and in combination of the severe mood swings caused by bi-polar disorder it might take you over the edge. That's why you need to be brave and face down your fears and take the risk of telling your psychiatrist the whole story.

I'm here if you need to talk,

Much love,

(*hug*)

Yael

 

Hey Becky,

I can relate somehow (ok, very much) with what you are saying, being afraid of opening up and talking about what's going no. Psychiatrists, therapists or psychologists are all very seasoned people so if you were to have a panic attack while talking to them, don't worry, they will know how to deal with it. Be sure of that, they know, they have seen lots of stuff an you are there for a reason, sobbing, feeling anxious or nervous or even feeling unwell is to be expected. Nothing wrong with it. I know how much it hurts your pride to do so, to cry in front of someone you don't really know yet but it can be done even if it takes a while.

They are trying to help you, and you have to give them the "tools" to do so. You have to let them. Easier say than done, I know. Anyway, good luck and as Yaeli say, here if you need to talk about it. Take care.

 

Calm down...

You know the theory well, but you have zero practice, that's not as huge as it seems now. Of course you are scared : I'm just like you here, and if you told me a year ago (when I joined EC) that I would be able to be honest to people, I would have laughted t your fce, or punchedyou, or probably both.

It was hard coming here with a major gender issue and only havingin my suitcase a very rudimentary set of self expression. Granted I can write a good story, or edit a killer short vid about how Ibfeel, but... telling you, in person... And being honest? That was almost impossible for me. I don't do 'feeling talk',never did, however... If you are aware that you need it, you better get it.

This is not a grant jury you are in front of, it's just people. Who said what means to be crazy, and who is completly sane in this damned world? Those who call themselves sane are the craziest actually. So why are you so afraid? Unless you are dangerous for yourself or others, they can't do anything to you.
I don't think that your case is that bad... You sound actually perfectly normal to me. You've got your issues, but you do want to work on them. That is a big neon sign that says 'HEALTHY'.

Take it from here, knowing that yeah you could be 'better'... but you are not the worst. You are able to recognize that the issues are there... And the major obstacle is how you deal with people.

Grab some books about social skills, and practice them. Yes, this little silly sounding thing actuallyworks. Social skills are like muscles, so you need to shape up to reach your fullest potential.

Try to walk in someone else's shoes... First listen to them, then ask where does the whole idea behind the words come from... What kind of person you need to be t say such a thing?
Do this with yourself. As often as you can.

There is no magical formula to happily being social and open overnight. It is a process that takes time, a lot of listening (really listening) towhat others are saying... And probably fightingto losethe fear of being hurt.

You will experience emotional pain and dissapointment through all your life, it's a part of being alive. The other option is being dead... Avoid all potentially dangerous situations, run to you safe place and hide there. I ask you... Do you think that such a life is worth living?

You and me need to learn to deal with emotional pain, and the rightway is not running away or avoid the danger, but to face it.