Am i doing the right thing

Hi helen5269 and welcome to EC

Although I am not a mum in your position I would just like to say a big well done for being as supportive as you have been.

My only advice would be to let him know you love and support him just the same as if he were straight.Dont push the subject,just let him come to you as and when he is ready.

One other thought would be to show him this site,we are a friendly bunch who would offer any advice we could,in a safe and friendly environment.

Well done and good luck.

 

Hi Helen, My son is also 15. He told me a couple of months ago, I also already knew. To encourage him to come out to me I was very open about my views on LGBT issues. So when he told me he wasn't surprised I knew. You are doing great! And Thank you for being so supportive as well!
Before he told me, I used that time to research information and support in our area. I found an LGBT youth group. He now goes every week and loves it! My son was feeling quite isolated, didn't know anyone else like himself and really needed connections and support. So maybe that's how you can help? Google was my friend. I've read a few posts on here that give similar advice. I was pleased to read I did the right thing. I'm just paddling along and hoping everything I do and say is ok. I'm not always sure and thinking I might join the local PFLAG. I'm just going continue giving my full support and I'm sure everything will work out. Im sure everything will go well for you too.

 

hi first of all, thank you for being a supportive mom the world needs more parents like you, your partner and proudmum

did he tell you why exactly he's feeling bad? is he still confused with his sexuality? or is he being bullied at school or something? tell him that he can open up anything to you and you'd be listening to him in case he wants to talk about anything.. but just like csm said, "dont push the subject" too much, and do it how you normally do so he will not feel too pressured

i think he was shocked when you told him that you already knew probably because if he's actually trying and making effort before to hide his sexuality, it might mean he's not hiding it well enough, and he might be thinking other people must know of his secret as well (like, what if is friends know he's gay? or his crush does? or the whole school does?) this is really depressing if he's not ready to come out to everyone yet :/

talk to him more, refer him to lgbt support groups or site, or even bring him here on EC just be there for him :'> i wish you the best (*hugs*)

 

Helen, it's great that you are being supportive. You may not realise how much it will mean to your son to have that support. Many kids come out to parents and face hostile and offensive comments that cause untold damage, so I would like to say thank you for being a good parent.

If you are not sure how to respond and would like the help and support of parents who are going through (or have been through) the same thing, check out this website:
Home
FFLAG is a UK charity that offers support and advice to families and friends. They have a helpline you can call and there may even be a local group in West Yorkshire. You may also wish to obtain a copy of a book called Beyond Acceptancearents of Lesbians and Gays talk about their experiences. It's available on Amazon and has good ratings.

If your son is struggling with things, why not mention Empty Closets to him. We have lots of members around his age and we aim to make this a safe place where he can get support and advice from people in the same situation (or people who have been there). Take a look at this info for parents Empty Closets - For Parents and please contact me, or any staff member if you have questions.

 

I realise I'm not a mother myself, but I wanted to congratulate you anyway on your attitude towards your son and his sexual orientation.

Yes, you are doing the right thing. At this point in time, there is no way you could be doing the wrong thing. Being supportive of your son is wonderful in all the right ways.
You may want to find out what's been making feel bad. If it's about his orientation, I suggest doing as csm123 says, and showing him this site. If it's not - or even if it is - remain just as supportive. It's terrible and hard to see a hurting child (I once put my parents through that particular ordeal), but one of the best ways to combat this is by being supportive.

On a lighter note, a massive well done to you and your partner. Keep it up

 

Wow you are truly amazing. I would be so touched if my dad had said the same thing when I came out to him. The first thing he said was, "Lesbians still mess with boys," and I'm told by my sister that he doesn't believe me.