I'm gay. I noticed that since I'm out to myself and to some people (but also before that, to a lesser extent), I started acting (involuntarily) a little differently than straight guys. My body language and the way I speak are different. Of course I also look at men much more than women, but that's obvious. Are those behaviors intrinsically gay or what? Why does it happen? Does it only happen to some people? Some people told me they had already figured out I might have been gay before I even started questioning my sexuality.
I think this may be a bit controversial. And it is true that often gay people don't 'act gay' in any way that you would notice. But often they do, too.. People usually guess I'm gay within about 2 seconds of meeting me. I don't think I am particularly 'camp', though I do sometimes camp up for effect. But clearly there are subtle 'tells' in the way I act. I am not sure how much that is a unconscious acting in certain way, and how much it is 'natural', whatever that may be. If a straight person wants to indicate that they are sexual available, they will probably, again unconsciously, act in ways that will indicate that to potential partners. It may be that we act in certain ways not so much to indicate that we are sexually available, but to indicate to other gay men that we are 'one of them'. But I don't really know. I think it is a real thing, though.
Peraphs some do it unconsciously to reafirmate themselves, as these behaviors are seen as "gay behavior" (which isn't really true). However, not everyone "acts differently". Remember that.
well, im not sure. i do know that i was "checking" myself a lot before i came out to myself and still do it now in certain situations, like at work. at home and when im with others who are accepting i try to relax and if something like a gesture appears "gay" i let it happen. it can be frustating and take a lot of energy.
I think a part of it probably is genetic. How else would you explain some of the traits described throughout history, across the globe? Not every gay man is camp, and not every gay woman is butch, but enough have been for it to become a recognizable sign for a part of the overall population. When you become more comfortable with yourself, less effort goes into hiding how you think and behave, and of course, people do imitate others to fit in. Supposedly, there are also things like facial symmetry that clue people in, and I wouldn't be surprised if pheromones played a part.
It could be less about acting differently and more about censoring yourself. I have always had heterosexual male friends and there is almost always slight differences in the way that they act around homosexual men, as oppose to women, as opposed to other heterosexual men. It could be whether or not they will discuss emotions, casual demeanor, etc. It all comes down to comfortability. Everyone is taught to censor themselves in different ways by society. When we get around people who we feel won't judge us for certain behavior, then we begin to let our guard down and stop censoring ourselves.
I understand what you mean. I have been going through the same thing. But I feel ok with it I have sort of being suppressing that side of e but as I came out to more people I began to get more comfortable with it. Its not acting gay it is in fact being camp but it happens to everyone that comes out especially the looking at more guys....It will pass and you will calm down abit
I had a friend tell me last week that she thought I might be bi before she knew my history. I asked her why, and she said that I tended to flirt with the girls and make a lot of sexual innuendos. I thought that was really interesting, because those are the behaviors I've consciously tamped down in certain situations. I never connected that to being bi, but I wonder if it is. I tend to act more that way "myself" around people who know I'm bi. I'm not out among most people, but her husband and all the other people we were around knew. So maybe they are connected for me.
I think our heterosexual counterparts are really good at "butching up". But to be honest, I've this friend, whom I taught was gayer than me, who's surprisingly straight. I mean, I never would've thought, and I almost wanted to be gay besties with that bitch but anyway..... Also, it could come down to comfortability. A lot of straight guys are very, very conscious about being feminine, and once you've accepted the fact that you are gay, you let the wall down and be actually free to act the way you wanna.