I wonder if anyone in the 50ish group started dating later in life. Seems to be a lot work, Is best to wait till 60, since it involves a lot of time. Workaholic here, adding more time towards my pension fund.
Hi - yes Im dating at that age right now. Its hard work yes..Im doing a lot of it on line using apps like ****** and ******. Finding there are a lot of unreliable and flakey guys around with the odd one or two that are genuine and decent guys. Onwards and upwards though....x
Hi Both above true on North Shore of MA. Lots of reasons make it a numbers game; AIDS reduced our demigraohic Most non-flakey guys are partnered in 50's Many guys simply give up The gay venues are skewed to the sex seekers due to above I belong to both gay Meetup and Facebook gay groups but they are quiet or full of flakes. Not impossible but a numbers game with odds against. I know that as there are three of us here, but all far flung. There has to be others out there.
It's the same here in the lesbian world. I'm dating somebody whom I've been with for almost two years. I'm thinking of ending it for various reasons, but I worry that I won't find somebody else. I have one single friend and the rest are partnered. What to do? I haven't figured that out yet.
Example... Just got off arranging a meet with another 57 year old. Last minute I learn he is married, open relationship, partner has sexual dysfunction and he only wants a playmate. I canceled it post haste. He thought I did not believe him about his open relationship but I told him that was not my issue, I have rules for myself I live by. Un-gay rules evidently. Guess I am supposed to run towards any oppurtunity PRESENTED. LOL
Hey Biotech, Sorry to hear about your relationship. Just out of interest, how did you meet her? Surely, if you met someone once, you can do it again. Right? I certainly hope so. For all our sakes. Maybe you and your single friend could be eachother's "wingwoman".
Call me an optimist but at 59 I don't see any difference between now and any other time in my life when it comes to finding a mate. Of course I did have a lot more interest in my body when I was 20 but what did that ever get me? nothing in the end. The irony is I'm a better person now than I used to be. I really do love the wisdom I have accumulated over the years. But no one seems terribly interested in that and that's okay. Men always want that 20 year old because he makes them feel young again. I get that. So I say with affection, to hell with all of you. I am content to belong to me from now on. I literally have nothing to prove. Thank God for that.
Hi Monraffe I would invite you to reconsider the age issue... Albeit a small percent there are 50 somethings willing to consider a relationship with a younger person that has nothing to do with feeling younger. A) it is a numbers game and opening up to younger people expands the pool B) each generation suffers less oppression and a 30 year old grew up in a better period C) an equal is an equal regardless of age D) we are social animals ---------- Post added 25th May 2015 at 02:16 AM ---------- I know a 23 year old who is a breath of fresh air. None of the gay baggage and he gives me great hope. Dating a 23 year old would be a stretch but he is a good friend. A guy in his 30's on equal footing would be my lowest limit. I am unsure why you are angry at gaydom in general.
I like your attitude, Monraffe! I figured when in started coming out that I was doing this for me, and not to trade in my straight spouse for a gay one. After spending the first chunk of adulthood pressuring myself into finding a straight spouse and another chunk living with the result, I was determined not to pressure myself into doing it all over again as a gay man. Although I really figured things would be OK regardless of what happened, because i was coming out to be a whole person as and by myself, not become half of a couple. I had several gay friends eager to help me find someone (actually before I was even ready to date), and met someone without even trying who turned out to be the closest thing to a soulmate I ever expect to find. Roll with it, enjoy life as a free agent and don't pressure yourself, and you can be happy whether you're dating or not. And that way if you do find someone, it will be someone healthy and independent, not desperate and needy. I love my partner and I'm glad I have him. But he wasn't a requirement for my happiness or my well being, and as a result, he's a wonderful bonus instead of a goal for a desperate search.
Thanks for all your replies. It's good to take all of this with a cup of tea. Whenever I am asked are you dating, I reply that I am dating my life. I really do enjoy the person I've become. As we age, our thoughts are wiser. I guess coming out late in life is difficult because we think of lost time, instead of today as the best time of life.
dating at 48, in my case, half scared, half excited. mix in insecurity about my appearance, am i going to be able to socialize after so long being isolated because of circumstances and an abusive marriage...... but i like who i am becoming, and i like who i was, for the most part, and i will move forward, as will you(&&&)
