1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Engaged, but unsure of what I want!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Honeybadger88, May 20, 2015.

  1. Honeybadger88

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, North carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So, I'm a male, 26. I've always known since I was about 16-17 years old that I was attracted to men, as well as women. I always dated women, I have never dated a man, but I've always wanted to try.. When I was single I would "hook-up" with guys. I loved it and I am so turned on by men. I am currently engaged to a lovely woman, I love her. The sex was always good. For about a month maybe two, I haven't been wanting sex.. And I would turn to thoughts of men, sex with men, to get aroused for sex with her and sometimes to orgasm. now that the sex part is over, I also love to be around woman, gossip, and talk about their fashion needs and their lives.. I'm so confused!
     
  2. Gen

    Gen
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    4,070
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Nowhere
    Have you considered the possibility that you love to spend time with this woman platonically rather than romantically?

    What would you say are the differences between the way that you feel drawn to women and the way that you are drawn to men? Is one urge stronger than the other? How different are your thoughts/fantasies about men you fancy rather than women?
     
  3. Honeybadger88

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, North carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Yes that could be the case.. And one of my girlfriends has told me that is the biggest possibility. We have fun and enjoy each other but I'm slowly finding myself to want a man more. I feel like it is necessary to date a man, and all I crave is sexual things with men. I hardly think about sex with her lately
     
  4. CuteZhemn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2014
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Then please dont take it too far with her. Being engaged with no plans to marry or to be together seriously will end up hurting her. You should get man for you
     
  5. Honeybadger88

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, North carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Even if I love her? I know there are different types of love.. I see a future with her, I just don't know if I'll constantly want to be with a man. And if my sex drive for her will ever be as strong as it once was..
     
  6. CuteZhemn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2014
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Would breaking up and being friends be better than end up cheating or unhappy cuz u really want to try being with guy?

    ---------- Post added 21st May 2015 at 11:16 AM ----------

    You can talk with her and be honest. She might give u change to try man and then decide if u want her or him. But thats rare.
     
  7. Honeybadger88

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, North carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I wouldn't mind being friends, but I know she is depending on a marriage and I'm not 100% about it now.. And breaking a heart hurts me :/

    ---------- Post added 21st May 2015 at 03:20 PM ----------

    Yeah I want to try that.. But she's a traditional gal. Like she knows I'm bi, but she doesn't know my current struggle., and that I'm thinking I'm gay
     
  8. CuteZhemn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2014
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    It will hurt more if u marry her with half assed reasons. Do u want to marry her? Be with her as long as you die? (thats said in terms of marriage). Are you ready to give up on ever trying man? And,do u think you will be happy with her. Forgetting men?

    ---------- Post added 21st May 2015 at 11:23 AM ----------

    Another choice is that you marry her, find man when you two,already have kids. Leave her and kids ect.:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: sorry for being so bold about it. But i,think you shouldnt marry her. Thats my opinion.
     
  9. Honeybadger88

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, North carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    To be honest, I don't think I will be happy forgetting men.. And never having had the chance to be with one
     
  10. Broods

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2015
    Messages:
    102
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think you should be honest with her about your feelings and confusion. If you love her as much as you say, it's important to be open with her. It's not fair to her to stay with her because you don't want to break her heart. I think it will be much better to confront this now than years from now when you're both much more invested in a life together.
     
  11. CuteZhemn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2014
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I know the feeling. I want to be with woman too.. Even once then not to be with anyone if i have no change. But atleast once..
     
  12. Honeybadger88

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, North carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I understand it all.. I just hate confrontation
     
  13. CuteZhemn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2014
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Its not easy but im sure you know what you need to do and want to. Be brave! : )
     
  14. Honeybadger88

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, North carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Ahh I love the support :slight_smile: I will do it
     
  15. CuteZhemn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2014
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Finland
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Ill be encouraging you no matter what you decide
     
  16. Broods

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2015
    Messages:
    102
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's not going to be an easy conversation to have, but it speaks to your character if you have it now, instead of years in the future. The best thing for everyone, is if you are honest to yourself and how you feel. Best of luck :slight_smile:
     
  17. Honeybadger88

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2015
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville, North carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Awww ❤️❤️ It's really hard for me cause I'm the image of "straight". Tattoos, gym rat and in the military.. But All the way!
     
  18. intro55

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi, am older and married but always had fantasies about guys ever since my teens and they have got stronger and stronger over the years. All I would say in my experience the true feelings and orientation doesn't go away its gets stronger, even if you try and ignore it. So if you are struggling with it then best to be honest now before marriage, kids etc..