I am 38 years old, recently separated after a nearly 12yr marriage. For the last few years I've noticed that I'm increasingly attracted to women. I've never been attracted to a specific woman, but the ones that I know are very straight and I've known for a long time. It's more that I'm very aroused by pics of women, basically I'd rather look at a naked woman than a naked man and the thought of sex with a woman is very exciting to me (thought I've never done it). I was hit on (pretty aggressively) by a really cute woman at a work Christmas party 2 years ago. It was very exciting to me. I didn't act on it because I was married and we were in a pretty bad place and trying to fix things. Since then my interest has intensified. Where do I go from here? How many people start to question their orientation at my age? I don't even know how I want to proceed, how does a girl meet a girl? And if I do how do I let them know that I'm not sure and am trying to figure this all out.
I find it is fairly common for people in our generation (Gen X) to question sexuality in our mid thirties. I did, looking back I was in severe denial I knew I was different as far back as Middle school. Kind of the cliche "It was a different time", the world was a lot more ignorant and close minded. How did getting hit on by a really cute woman make you feel? Did it feel "right", aside from feelings of working on the marriage? Do you get turned on by looking at men? When you figure out what works for you, go for it. You have a choice to act on your feelings, or not. In the internet age there are many ways to meet people. The old ways work great, too. Go out and talk to people (sounds easy doesn't it, this coming from an introvert LOL). Seriously though, there are many groups for LGBT people to join to meet others. When you do find someone to talk to, let them know that you are "re-discovering" who you are and to be patient with you. If it is the right person they will understand. Life is like a journey; it's not the destination that matters, it's what we experience along the way. Happy Travels!
I can't say if it felt "right", but I know that it felt very exciting and honestly, I was completely turned on. Her husband and I worked at the same place and every time I'd see him around I hoped he'd bring it up for discussion, but he never did. He was not happy with her that night, they apparently have an arrangement but he didn't like that she did that at a work function, so I guess it's not surprising that he never mentioned it again! I've been on some dating sites and looked around. I had started a profile on match when my husband left, but the emails they sent me of potential men in my area made me sad and depressed. None of them were intriguing to me and I wouldn't bother with any of them. Just as an experiment I switched it to women and my feelings when looking at them are totally different. Actually there's one lady about 25 miles from me that I'm dying to contact but I haven't had the nerve to complete my profile and message her! I think I'd be embarrassed admitting that I'm new to this but I understand that honesty is important. Is being new or questioning seen in a negative light?
Hi, why not go through with meeting? You don't have to progress beyond a date if its not working out. I don't think being new and unsure/questioning would be seen by many as unattractive. Perhaps by shallow people who can't be bothered putting the time in to build a relationship. But you're not interested in them are you? Lots of people will feel a connection with where you're at and want to go out with you.
