Had an argument with dad today over my girlfriend. He made it fairly clear he doesn't understand transgender people at all. I'm done hiding, and he won't like it, but I need to proceed somehow. I'm still personally offended and literally seething over some of the things he said today. I need to get out somehow, and I need to come out, one way or another. I'm tired and I'm done.
You might have a look here for a few thoughts: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/comin...m-doesnt-know-im-actually-her-daughter.html#2 Well I can't tell you if its better to calm down and think about it or if its better to use this as some motivation to do something. You might make a list, with priorities, and talk with your girlfriend about it. have a *hug*
After more talking, he decided that my statements that I am dating my girlfriend but I'm not a lesbian were a weird sort of coming out. He then proceeded to smother me with concerns. What about my reputation? As what, I want to know. I've been called queer since I was eight. Won't it bother me if people think I'm a lesbian? Funny concern, coming from someone that blatantly said my girlfriend is a confused man in a dress. Or is that the real concern, that I'm dating "a man in a dress", and you don't " get it"? He was so quick to overreact to the news that I am dating a woman now that he single-handedly decided that he passed a recessive gay gene to me somehow. He was also overly concerned about what to tell anyone if they asked, and told me I can't tell grandma because she'd promptly die of a heart attack. But mostly, he was disillusioned and disappointed that he won't be seeing grandkids from me or walking me down an aisle in a big white dress - two things I've said repeatedly are unlikely to happen, anyway. Oh, yeah, and sex. He's worried about that. Apparently we've been spending so much time together because we're constantly going at it, which is baffling in and of itself because 1, don't you know how estrogen works? For real, do you need me to draw you a chart?, 2, even if you don't know how estrogen works, do you really think someone that feels like the "male" parts of their anatomy are foreign would be eager to use them?, and 3, how much sex can someone possibly have? All that aside, it's frankly none of his business what we do. My mom, on the other hand, kept chipping in with her two cents, saying things like how my girlfriend is a very nice woman that can come over any time she likes, or how it doesn't really matter who I date as long as they're good people and I'm happy, or how literally nothing at all has changed. Go mom. Four for you, mom. With this little preamble out of the way, I can only imagine what's going to ensue when I drop the real bomb and tell them I'm not a woman.
That's tough, but it sounds like your mom is really in your corner, and it also seems like your dad cares, even though he's showing it in a bad way. But he'll probably come around. I'd probably make a joke like, "hey dad, you'll he happy to know I'm actually straight because I'm a guy." lol. I don't even think my parents realize I'm gay and I haven't outright told them. But they are refusing to in any way accept my being trans, so they probably still see me as straight.
