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Now, where to start? (+Mother Problem...)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Alexcakes, May 5, 2015.

  1. Alexcakes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Philippines
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So, after years of not recognizing it, and months of denying it, I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm a trans guy, and it feels amazing. Now, the question is, how do I make the people around me see the same thing.

    I've sort of hypothetically come out to my sister. I've asked her, "If I came out as trans how'd you feel?" And she's really open about this stuff so she says, "I'll be totally fine with it! You've never been much of a girl, anyway." Sure, it's all hypothetical, but I asked her that everyday for two weeks, so I guess she must get the point.

    My biggest problem is coming out to my mom. She's generally chill about that kind of stuff. I never really came out as bi to her, but she sort of just assumes it. When I told her I asked someone to prom, she asked me if it was a boy or a girl first. But that was a few years ago.

    My "stepdad-to-be" (they're not married yet) is a total homophobic prick, and I feel that he's been negatively influencing my mom. She turns to him for so many big decisions regarding her children, and it really pisses me off because he barely even KNOWS us! Last week, while we were driving home, my sister and I were discussing gay representation in politics and he thought we were joking and HE FUCKING LAUGHED. BOTH OF THEM DID. I was really offended, and I had no idea how I'd ever come out, at least just to my mom (because she's the only one that matters.)

    What if they just laugh at me, too? :icon_sad:
     
  2. jay777

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    You might have a look here for a few thoughts:
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/comin...m-doesnt-know-im-actually-her-daughter.html#2

    Is there any kind of support available in your country ? There might be transgender helplines.. a gay straight alliance group at school... a school counselor you trust...or a lgbt center... where it might be possible to ask for counseling and maybe advice ?

    Concerning your stepdad, its hard to tell...
    you might make it clear to your mom that this i important to you... its how you really are...

    you might simply stand your ground, and do things you are interested in...
    saying you are more interested in manly stuff...

    have a *hug*
     
  3. Straight ally

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Santiago de los caballeros, Dominican Republic
    I think she just laughted as a imitation of the behaviour of y.our to be step dad. Remember we humans imitate others peopl 's behaviour, specialy close people. So i think you can trust her with this. Maybe if you arent sure you could approach her when she is alone and talk to her about some gay issue. Maybe you could start by showing her you support lgtb people or something like that... Whatever you do ideally do it when she is by herself... And althouth you should not do it if you dont feel ready , sooner is better than later cause you dont want him to influence her too much.