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Coming out to friends

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by pde, May 4, 2015.

  1. pde

    pde
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    So I was planning on coming out to a friend over the summer, and then maybe coming out to other friends depending on how things went. The friend I was going to come out, I had initially planned to tell her over Skype during spring break but we didn't end up skyping and she's just been really distant/flaky for the past few months. I'm starting to think that she might not be the best person to come out to since she tends to be really flaky in general, and I might not even end up seeing her over the summer.

    The other friend I thought about telling is going to be out of town for the first half of the summer, and I'd rather not wait that long.

    Then there's this other friend I have who I was going to wait to come out to because of past experiences. I don't think he's homophobic (I have no idea actually), but he has a tendency to say things that are somewhat hurtful/offensive even though he almost always means well.

    There's also this girl who I somewhat knew in HS who I know is an ally but I deleted her number and facebook :bang::bang:

    So idk if I should tell any of these people or wait (if I don't come out this summer I probably won't come out to them until next summer) since I go to college out of state. :help:
     
  2. jay777

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
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    Well knowing her name it should not be too difficult to fin her facebook account...
    unless you want to keep it deleted...

    I'd say take the time you need...


    hugs (*hug*)
     
  3. freeapril

    Full Member

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    Hi pde,

    I just wanted to say that I am in almost exactly the same situation as you, and it's really weird how similar it is! I was going to come out to one friend over Skype recently because I didn't want to wait until summer to see her, but then we didn't end up Skyping and I started thinking maybe we are not close enough...and then there is another friend I have thought of telling but she has that accidentally-says-hurtful-things-without-meaning-to problem where she just says exactly what is on her mind without realizing it might be insensitive. And I also have two friends from high school who have gay siblings who I know would be accepting but I have lost touch with both of them! So, that's weirdly the same, right?!!! ANYWAY, just wanted to say I can relate! For me, it has been frustrating because I feel that I can't come out to my closest friends because I am concerned they may not have a positive reaction, but I also don't feel close enough to my other less-close friends for me to trust them even though I do think they would be accepting. For now, I am waiting to become closer with my newer friends so that I will feel comfortable telling them, which will hopefully happen over the summer! Anyway, I can't really help, but I had to share since our friends are oddly similar, which is kind of bizarre actually, and also sometimes it just helps to know you are not alone! :icon_bigg
     
  4. robotman

    Full Member

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    Hm... I can't really shed too much light on the subject due me to me only telling 2 friends (officially) that I am gay. What I will say is only tell the friends that you completely trust and that you know won't out you or try and use it against you.