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Not okay with opposite sex attractions.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Jax12, Apr 26, 2015.

  1. Jax12

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    Whether I identify as bisexual or homoflexible, I'm still not okay with my opposite sex attractions. I tell people that I'm gay because... well it's just easier for me even though it's not entirely true.

    Does anyone have an idea as to why?
     
  2. XenaxGabby

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    Just wondering, was this opposite sex attraction always there or did it happen suddenly after years of only being attracted to the same sex?
     
  3. Connor86

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    ???if ur attracted to the opposite gender ur attracted to the opposite gender....don't try to change ur attractions lmao.
     
  4. whosamelia

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    I don't have an answer, but this sounds like me in a way... I do still have some degree of attraction to men, even after I realised I like women. It WOULD be easier to be able to tell people I'm gay, I even find it hard to imagine having a steady relationship with a man. But I still have crushes. Sexuality is a weird thing.
     
  5. Jax12

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    Attractions to girls was always there, all my life. Same as guys to be honest, but preferences have changed since I've experienented with a guy.

    @whosamelia I hear you. It's there.
     
  6. Connor86

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    So then be bi with a pref for guys. All in all your the only one who can truly decide your sexuality for yourself. But from what I see you seem Bi with a pref for guys.
     
  7. Jax12

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    What about you? You got a preference? And how did you come to terms with it?
     
  8. Connor86

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    I've come to terms with the fact that I have a preference for girls. I tried to convince myself to be straight or gay for a longgggggg time. After lots of self discovering I finally realized what I truly am and have come to be perfectly happy with it :slight_smile:

    All in all YOU are the only one who can determine what sexuality you are. Gay or Bi with Pref for a guy. Hey either one is cool man!
     
  9. jp97

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    I kinda know what you mean even though I am 100% in love with men gay I have moments where I look at one of my female friends and think to myself that she is just the kind of girl you bring home to your parents, enjoy each others company and happily live together,but none of this is sexual and is more romantic than anything, but that is far as any regard of the genre for the opposite sex goes.
     
  10. EpicConfusion

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    That's how I feel, but like Jax I just say gay because I'm only interested in having relationships with guys.
     
  11. whosamelia

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    Good to hear. And same, I had opposite-sex attraction from earlyish childhood. Plus one or two same-sex, looking back. Just out of curiosity (I know it has flaws blah blah), where do you place on Kinsey scale? I come up as a 4.
     
  12. Jax12

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    I go from 4-6 sometimes, however even then I'm rarely at the extreme side.
     
  13. kindy14

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    Yeah, bisexual with a heavy preference for guys right now. Though yesterday driving home there was this really, really cute gal in the car next to me... I was getting horny just looking at her.
     
  14. Jax12

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    Yeah the heavy preference for me just makes it seem like I'm full on gay which I guess is okay, but I have SAD so it's difficult for me to "be myself".
     
  15. EpicConfusion

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    For me I don't feel like I have as much of an attraction for guys as I would like. I say I'm demisexual because I am not attracted many guys immediately. Mentally and emotionally I am very attracted to guys though.
     
  16. gravechild

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    Are you afraid that those opposite sex attractions somehow invalidate your identity as a gay man? Or that they somehow "muddy the waters"? I originally came out as gay, since those feelings were strongest at the time, and it seemed easier than coming out as bisexual. Also, for men, it's expected that they fall somewhere that falls near either of the two extremes. Women are allowed complex sexualities; men aren't.

    You'd be surprised at how many gay men aren't turned off by female bodies, and even curious, or attracted to, vaginas or women. They just keep quiet about them, since they'd catch a ton of crap from the sexuality police. You can do what a few gay men have done: be open about your identify, but don't shy away from what little opposite attractions you do have.

    If someone has an issue with that, it's their problem. You're only showing there's no one "right" way to be gay, which should be common knowledge, but sadly isn't. There are so many labels that essentially mean the same thing. You don't have to choose one now, or ever. Your life, your choice. :slight_smile:
     
  17. Jax12

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    ^ it's not really about invalidating my identity as a gay man, it's just that I fear a relationship will develop with girls and then I end up breaking their heart because "I'm just a gay guy who wants to be in a heterosexual relationship".
     
  18. kindy14

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    There's only one way to be me....

    I don't live to fit a label.

    ---------- Post added 28th Apr 2015 at 10:22 AM ----------

    Trust me, I get where you are coming from. Also have G/SAD, have for a long time. Lack of skills or success shouldn't determine your sexuality. Might effect your preference at the time, but you're either bisexual to some degree or not.

    Always maintain you are who you are.
     
  19. Jax12

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    Thanks Kindy14, your response really helped me. Not living by labels is certainly something I would like to go by.

    My mind settles down when I say I'm bisexual, and not because "yay I can still be normal and date a girl" but I think it's because something can indeed happen. At least I think so.
     
  20. kindy14

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    I look at it now as, I can date who ever I find attractive and interesting. Male, female, other. A relationship is always going to be dependent on who the other person is inside, much more than the physical attraction.

    Maybe I will find the one guy who will satisfy my whole soul. Beats me, I'm open to the possibility of that happening. I'm also open to the possibility that it may take more than one person.

    Bisexuality is no more a choice than being gay. How one expresses their sexuality is where the choice lies. If I only ever choose to date guys again, I'm still bisexual.