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Long distance relationships?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Andrew99, Apr 21, 2015.

?

Would you do a long distance relationship?

Poll closed May 2, 2015.
  1. Yes

    54.5%
  2. Maybe/I dunno

    20.0%
  3. No

    25.5%
  1. Eye Shine

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    I wouldn't do a long distance relationship. (For me that would be bigger than a 50 mile radius). It's because both parties sacrifice a lot for each other and the intimacy and feeling you get from it wouldn't be worth the sacrifice imo.
     
  2. ToneDef

    ToneDef Guest

    Never again. I was very recently told by my last girlfriend of 2 years that she was getting ready to move from Arizona to Washington. We had everything planned out; cars, location, insurances, everything. We had it all done and ready and 3 weeks prior to the time she was supposed to be here, she dumped me. I didn't know it at the time but, as days turned into weeks, I realized she was ignoring me and didn't have a lost phone or something. I thought for a while she had been with family, visiting Colorado, maybe. It wouldn't have been the first time she disappeared on me and was visiting family or hanging out with friends or dad. She isn't ever on social media so she never checked messages. Maybe she's not ignoring me. Maybe there's no computer around she can't message me, and her smart phone is off. This went on for two-three weeks. Things hadn't felt the same for months. She was distant. Always had been but this was different. She didn't really want to talk to me. She's not interested anymore. But I knew different. She wouldn't do that to me, she loves me. I'll keep trying. A few more days passed. I checked instagram, fb, Twitter, tumblr, pinterest, you name it. Still nothing. Did something bad happen? Was she in a coma or something? Was she sick in the hospital? Between her reckless driving and some serious health issues, I couldn't help but think of things like that. Were her parents mad at me for taking her away? Enough to sabotage our relationship? Her dad was trying before so I had good reason to believe that. I finally messaged her mom on fb and asked her to have my gf call me, or her call me and explain what's going on. No response, yet again. I'll try our old friends. They probably heard from her. One friend responded and said he'd help me look but I don't know how far that actually went. It's been two months and I haven't heard anything. I have no closure. I think about this every day. What did I ever do to deserve that? Was it planned? Did she get scared last minute and breakdown? Had she been contemplating this? How long? So many questions left unanswered. Two years and it wasn't worth even explaining to the person she supposedly never wanted to lose, even as a friend.
    Don't assume you mean anything to anyone. I won't tell you whether or not to be in a long distance relationship but, I will tell you that it's a lot more work than people think. Consider your situation, who it's with, how long. Take care of yourself. Don't stay if you're not happy. If you do break it off, explain it to them. Be considerate.
     
  3. LooseMoose

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    I've made the experience and have learned (hopefully) from my mistakes & am not really prepared to have a LDR at this stage in life, hence I have put "no".

    I think if I already happened to be in a relationship & my partner had to work abroad for a while, I'd be ok with that, but I'd certainly not start a relationship with somebody who already lives far away from me.

    LDR are not easy- you can probably put up with one, or 2 in your life, but anything more than that would be stretching it. "Love conquers all" might be true, but LDR put a big weight on love- one partner might need to end up leaving everything behind to be with the person, suffering alienation and loss of familiar surroundings, it is a big price. .
     
  4. TENNYSON

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    Probably not. I could do it temporarily maybe, but it would depend on the length of time. From the experiences of my friends, long-distance relationships don't work.
     
  5. QueerQueen

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    I think I would. I mean I already have, but I would again IF they lived within 5 hours of me, we had plans to close the distance or we took trips to see each other and if they had a cam and a mic. Other than that yeah sure I would, if I had strong feelings for the girl, otherwise I'd rather just wait for someone to come along who lives closeby.
     
  6. mobrien1993

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    I've done it before...I don't know if I would do it again though it's hard with so much distance in between and not knowing when you'll have the time or money to be together
     
  7. radicalmuffins

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    Yep. I would probably do it if the person was emotionally involved and is seriously wanting to pursue the relationship as much as I wanted it. I gather it's also a good thing to be mature about it. Expectations.. things needs to be discussed but if it's worth it, why not?
     
  8. biAnnika

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    For the first two years my partner and I were together, we lived 4 hours apart. I could only see her on select weekends. We survived that stage, and it worked out fine.

    Now, staying together apart with the idea that the separation be *permanent*? Only if the relationship was sufficiently open that I could have another partner I could live with, if I found an appropriate such person. Introverted as I am, I enjoy human contact and face-to-face intimacy too much to commit to only seeing my only intimate partner once every few weeks.
     
  9. Gandee

    Gandee Guest

    A question that I can only give the answer to in 2 months
     
  10. Quem

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    Hahaha I'm in one. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  11. GayJay

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    No chance.
    Probably a shallow first reason but sex. I think that's too important for me to not you know have it frequently. Not even just because I want it a lot but I just think it plays a big role in the whole connecting and actually feeling closer kinda thing.

    And because I'm really weird. If i'm away from someone for a long amount of time then see em I probably won't care. No matter how much they mean to me, the longer time goes on the more I just don't want to do it anymore.
    If I don't see my girlfriend for like a week, then I do i'm so moody. I have nothing to communicate about and just don't make an effort. I have absolutely no idea why I do it, how to change or anything. It's not even in a jealous way, I trust her a million percent, things just seem different to me even when their not.
    But then gain I have my emotional process all wrong
     
  12. Young Blood

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    I'm pretty much in one now. It is hard, especially when we do video chats and that, there are times I really, REALLY just want to kiss him and hug him, but I can't. And those kinda kill me and it would be nice to see them in person on a pretty regular basis, but at the same time, you can't ignore a connection you have with someone. You have that connection, that spark, fight until the end, because most of the time that person would have been worth all the effort you put in.