Straight guy had gay experience with best friend. Please help.

I disagree! The OP could have instigated it as no memory of how it began you are assuming the gay guy is to blame because he is gay. I can't imagine 100% of gay men run around looking for some innocent straight guy to take advantage of! That is just a stereotype and these guys have been friends. Are all gay guys child molesters too? Where do these harsh judgement end? From reading the OP's text, it does not sound like rape to me... June

 

If both of you were intoxicated than it is really hard to get to the truth of what happened. How long have you been friends? How much do you trust your friend when he says he was wasted too? Do you know how much you drank or your friend? How did the two of you wake up? I don't think you should panic, I think you should talk to him and really figure out what happened that night and if you trust your friend.

 

That's not what I'm saying , but what type of friend takes advantage of another friend while their high. This was not consensual , that is rape in my book . I myself had a friend try to rape me and they are a straight man.
Sorry if it sounds like I was saying gay men rape, with male on male rape.
But people should know someone being high or drunk is not an excuse to rape them.

 

I kind of agree. I can't put full blame on his friend if he didn't really know what he was doing either, but this definitely wasn't something the OP wanted.

Honestly if I slept with a man while I was drunk I would have strangled that man to death.

 

But something that can't be overlooked is the fact that the last time he mixed his medication with alcohol (especially heavy drinking) he was so belligerent and aggressive that he was nearly arrested. He also had a black out situation there as well. Since we have this prior history, and we know that this drug combination causes him to act erratic and out of character we can't really discount that he might have been the one pushing himself upon his friend who was also very drunk. No one knows what was going through the OP's mind at the time. For all we know he could have been envisioning that he was with someone else completely.

We literally have zero idea of what happened, and of that we only have some circumstantial evidence that something sexual took place. This is the reason I recommend to the OP that he needed to have a sit down and face to face conversation with his friend. He needs to figure out what happened, and let him know that he remembers something sexual took place. Currently he is having a lot of anxiety over the issue, and the only way that starts to get any better is once some of the lingering questions are resolved. There is only one other person out there who can provide some of those answers.

Then, based on those answers, he has to decide how he wants to proceed moving forward. That's the only positive way that this situation can be handled at the moment. The alternative is to do nothing and drop it, and due to the anxiety he is experiencing over it, I don't think that is a valid option. Further, this will always be something that looms over the friendship until it is aired out. And no matter what shakes out of it, at least he'll have some closure one way or another. Not knowing what happened is a horrible thing. It is better to know and deal with the truth, than to live your life in the dark.