Like the title says. Everyone makes mistakes, but which of your mistakes do you hate the most? If you were given the chance to change it, would you?
Not coming out sooner. I feel like I lived in a unnecessary shell that held me back from making more friends in HS and college. I'm still not fully out because I feel like its too late to tell certain people and feel like it would have been easier at a younger age
Shittiest thing I've ever done was leading on a guy who was suicidal. Would I go back and change it? I'm not sure. This kind of question scares me, to be honest. If I hadn't done it, I would be a very different person right now, minus one or two relationships, more naive, younger really. And minus the worst moments of my life. But those moments shaped me. I learned a lot from them. I hate the person who made that mistake, but I like who I am today, and I couldn't have become that without her.
My greatest hated mistake? That I didn't change my study program earlier, and now I am paying for my mistake.
I could pick from a few, but they all stem from the same mistake: Instead of embarking on a reign of bullying, I should have put that energy into more helpful and productive things. I used to make people cry, because it made me feel powerful. I used to steal from people, because I knew they couldn't stop it. I used to hit people, because it reminded others they were incapable of doing anything about it. I'd taunt and coerce people into breaking up with somebody, or saying/doing something to, purposely, get them into a situation of pain and misunderstanding -- all because I enjoyed watching them, knowing they were unable to resist. One example of my tormenting is: In the 4th grade, I told a girl that unless she yelled out, in the middle of class, that she was ugly, I'd cut her hair with scissors during craft time. And she knew I would, because I'd done it before to others. Of course, though she was hesitant about it, she said this. Predictably, most of the class started to tease and pick on her, calling her ugly and other things. I watched the discomfort on her face, the tears in her eyes, and just to kick sand on her, I'd remind her that if she wasn't weak, she'd have not done what I said. I wound up cutting her ponytail off anyway, which really increased the teasing. I found something intoxicating about that look of pain and betrayal in her eyes, that gave me a sense of purpose. I couldn't make my life better, so I'd make others know mine, basically. That shit, right there, is why I believe I'm a terrible person at my core. I shouldn't have embraced anger and practiced manipulation to get through life -- my most hated mistake, by far.
Almost certainly playing The Sims 2 in college, and becoming so obsessed with it that I largely ignored my studies. I greatly regret not having sought help when I realized I was floundering horribly in college because I was so unused to living independently.
Not coming out years ago. Or rather at least not coming out to myself if that makes sense. Kinda feel like I wasted so much time, even though things are going well now.
Not being assertive enough. I've been used way too many times by others, and I should say something to stand up for myself. However, it is often difficult for me to say "no" :/