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Bi or gay cliché

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by mattiemann2, Apr 14, 2015.

  1. mattiemann2

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    So first of all, everyone thank you for contributing to this forum. I'm one of those guys that posted something here but never really responded to the tons of replies. Sorry for that. But do know that I really appreciate them and they do support me a lot!

    Finally.. It took a while but I'm finally finding my way into coping with being gay, or bi, or whatever. Life has never been as fun for me as the past couple of weeks were. Still a long way to go though. And for that I would like to ask you guys another question.

    I don't really care if I'm gay or bi, but I do like to know what I stand for. Lately I've heard some gay people say things like "straight sex is gross" or "I could never imagine myself being with a woman". But I can't help but to feel that I find gay sex more gross than straight sex. Even though when it comes to feelings and romantic stuff, I could only really imagine myself being with a guy.

    What are your experiences with this? Was it always crystal clear to you, did you find out by experiencing more or did you just stop caring after a while? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    PS: Please don't tell me I should find what makes me happy. Because then I will just keep doubting myself and I will never find what I like. (Did I find it? Did I find it? Where is it precious?)
     
  2. Adam Smith

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    Bro, I use to go through the same thing. I'm also not terribly helpful to answer this. After a couple of years I just got use to the idea of sex with guys. I mostly want to hold on to this thread.

    Now there are two of us with this question!
     
  3. Masnar

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    I can only say, it is up to the person to actually answer.

    I was heterosexual for almost all my life. Very recently I decided to deal my desires for men. I don't think any gay guys saying, "Ohh, straight sex is gross!" is any worse than a typical macho response about gay sex like, "How can a guy look at another guy's ass?!" is different.

    But we who who are in the middle of this wave, this spectrum. also have a valid POV as well.

    It was never crystal clear to me, it was always muddy. And that's they way it is. Other may have the "luxury" of being to each far side of the bell curve. Some of us are not that lucky.

    (I just mean luck in this particular discussion, not as any societal reaction...)
     
  4. mattiemann2

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    I wish it could be as plain as day, but I guess it would take a 'fuck it' attitude when it comes to this. I just hope I would never get unhappy if I ever get a boyfriend because I don't exactly know what I like.
    Anyone else who reads this, who would like to share his/her experience? I could use it :slight_smile:
     
  5. Emily1

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    I'm a girl but I think I can offer some helpful insight. I am fully gay yet I don't find straight sex off-putting. I also was apprehensive about gay sex before slept with a girl. I knew I was sexually attracted to girls but I couldn't see myself doing anything beyond kissing and touching. However, once I was put in that situation, it felt extremely natural and so I just went with it. I am still a bit apprehensive but I now know that i'll just do whatever comes naturally to me, and if it doesn't, I won't. I don't think it's something you should worry about now. When you meet a guy, take things slow, see what feels right to you and go from there.
     
  6. Damien

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    Hi,
    in my experience it was definitely not crystal clear at first. Initially I felt very confused. It's taken me about a year of trying to 'allow' myself to just let attraction flow naturally where it will, without judgement or overthinking it, to begin to realize that in my case, I really can be attracted to someone regardless of their gender. How it turns out for you, will be your own individual experience. By the way, I did also kind of 'stop caring' so much, eventually. Over the past year, the notion of being intimate with a guy kind of got 'normalized' to the point where I'm like, meh, it's not such a big deal. Just talking with and hanging out more with both guys and girls recently, has helped a lot, too. I just relax and let myself feel what I feel naturally.

    It's a bit of a journey, in most folks' experience, 'finding out' what you truly 'are'. My advice is to enjoy the 'not being sure', enjoy the journey of discovery. Although it can seem agonizing at times, looking back, it has indeed been exciting and continues to be so. After all, what could be more exciting than a journey into previously uncharted waters? :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Damien, Apr 17, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2015