So when ever i have attempted to shop for female clothes (i am usually talked into it by my friend) i get overwhelmed with a fear of being ridiculed by clerks and fellow shoppers and i want to over come this and get some female clothes to lessen my dysphoria.
Maybe going shopping with a close friend that you're out to would help? That way you'd have someone to go with, and talk to while you look for clothes, and buy them. Or maybe you could listen to music on your headphones while you browse for clothes. It would be a distraction for you, and people tend to not bother someone who's clearly listening to music on their headphones. I remember my mother telling a story of how for a while she went to this one university, where she had to travel through a shadier part of town in order to get there on time. She was scared of something happening to her every day during her transit, so what she ended up doing was she tried her best to just look bored. She'd yawn, chew bubblegum, walk casually with a bit of a slouch, etc. She figured nobody would do anything to her if she looked like a bored local. Maybe that'd help? I remember reading a story from a trans lady about her first time buying girl's clothes and she said that it was super scary but nothing bad really happened, so probably it's not as scary as it seems (sorry I don't have a link, for the life of me I cannot remember what her blog was called).
This is a thing which I am terrified of doing as well! Going with someone else will really help. Are you out to anyone vaguely authoritative-looking? A clerk won't challenge someone who is with someone who looks really comfortable and confidant. Having someone naturally like that will you will mean you are less likely to be challenged even if you panic. I am not sure how good a suggestion that actually is, but it seems like it would help to me. That is my plan anyway.
Just buying stuff isn't so bad, people just default to believing you're shopping for somebody else. The changing rooms are what makes me nervous, personally.
I can't offer too much advice (I'm sorry), but maybe you could try online shopping? Or, if someone confronts you (doubt anyone would; they're jerks if they do), you could say you are shopping for a friend, or if you bring someone with you, you can say you are helping them find clothes. If dressing rooms scare you, maybe you could get clothes you are pretty sure will fit you, try them on at home, and if they don't, you could return them?
I work as a cashier at a department store. I've found that a lot of the times, people will not care. Usually, people will think that you are buying clothes for somebody else. If you don't feel comfortable trying things on, you could always buy a few sizes and return those that do not fit.
Buying and returning is an option, and online works well too, however with some things you really need to try it one. You can trying taking what you want to buy into the dressing room, along with things you don't to buy.... and just try on the stuff you want.
I used to work at Lane Bryant a plus size clothing store in the US. The store I worked at had extra dressing rooms in the back for overflow. We would offer these dressing rooms to trans and cross dressing customers who wanted more privacy. Try to find a clothing store in your area that is queer friendly. Most stores are happy to see $$$$ and don't care what gender you are, especially if they work on commission.
The first few times shopping are rough mentally but no-one will really pay you much heed if you don't cause a scene. Even so for me listening to some fun music really helped. It's also much easier if you go later in the evening out another time when there are less people. Everyone says it's easier if you have a friend to go with,and I'm sure for many people that is much easier, but I get really self conscious shopping with other people and I know that would have made it quite difficult for me. Lastly it also helped me to think up a couple excuses such as buying my "girlfriend" an anniversary gift.
Buying through a catalog is really nice. I bought some pants, a few months ago. I had more of a problem from my relative than the people at the store. I was really paranoid that someone was going to hassle me but, no one did. Again, because I was super paranoid, I thought I was detecting some attitude from the cashier. If he did have a problem with it, he said nothing. I used to go to many stores and buy men's t-shirts. I didn't have much problem. I felt the most accepted at Hottopic and skateboarding oriented stores. If you get asked any questions, say that you're buying it for someone else. Try to act cool. Bringing someone who's supportive is always a huge plus.
I am also very nervous, as I want to be fitted for a bra by the sales staff and panties, etc., just not sure where this could be done yet. What about that Lane Bryant, we have one of those here
i have the same problem what im doing to over come this is placing a order online and having it delivered to the store that's my 1st step i pick it up tomorrow be hard to hide it a female only store so i'm hoping i can get some things on way in as there's a sale so hopefully i stay confident hehe
I'm not too bad with buying tops and trousers but it's underwear that's scary. I went to buy some boxer shorts with my sister (6) the other day and there was loads of men there and I was too scared to buy anything or even look too closely. If you just act like you have every right to be there it should be okay. If somebody asks them just say they're for a friend or sibling; it should stop them being suspicious.
It's kind of funny because I have absolutely no problem to buy whatever I need in the male department but I'd be for sure pretty nervous if I had to buy for example a bra (I have absolutely no idea how to choose one).
This is so true. I used to care when I presented male but I realized this : 1.) cashiers don't care 2.) businesses want to sell things 3.) cashiers probably won't remember you from the large number of people they serve