Gaydar?? (How do you spot femme lesbians)

I would suggest reading her body language. I'm a 'femme' lesbian i.e. I look like a straight girl so I try to just smile at girls that I like and make a lot of eye contact. It's really hard sometimes to differentiate a lesbian/bi girl from a super friendly straight girl, but usually straight girls won't reciprocate the flirty body language. Also, try and casually mention that you are gay, that way, if she is gay too, she will most likely say it. Hope this helped!

 

It's really hard in my experience. Because some straight girls don't mind flirting with you, and some lesbians may be put off by early affection. The only way I truly know is by asking.

 

Does she do the body sweep? the head to toe look an interested gal will give you. Does she have any pride jewelry on of gay pride colors? Does she meet your eyes and smile? She may pick up on you and send you a smile that lingers a bit longer than a straight girl would. Usually Femmes will hold your gaze for a bit longer than average than a straight girl. I also usually pick up on vibes or energy. I can't really explain it, I am a Femme, and a Butch gal will always turn my head, I can 'feel' the zing when they go past. My Butch wife did tell me recently that the Femmes these days are very very easy to spot, unlike when we were out in the 80's, they are open about it, and we were not. Maybe that is why us oldsters have better gaydar than the youngsters here. We were so not easy to spot.

 

Honestly I think the easiest way to know is to just ask her.

 

I am pansexual and CERTAINLY into girls and I am very feminine and I kind of hide how I act around girls when I am interested in them. The only way to know is to ask.

 

3 words: lesbian eye contact. Can't define it, I just know it when I get it.

In general, I find that when someone is attracted to me I just feel it, somehow. Attraction vibes are different than just-friendly vibes. Plus women who are attracted to women will often (subtly, not like guys) look at your boobs, which straight women pretty much never do.

But as far as just a random woman walking down the street, I can sympathize with the "lesbian fashion" confusion, it's impossible to tell. My friends like to play the people-watching game of "hipster or dyke".

Like everyone has already said, the best way to tell is to just ask.

 

Just ask them. Don't speculate or guess. It can be a litmus test of sorts. People who won't tell you or may be lying are either not interested or not ready to be open about their sexuality, so it saves a lot of pain and uncertainty.

 

its hard. but pride jewerly. but no way of knowing really till you get to know her. or you could just say can i take you out for a drink sometime. thats an instant way to know. the worst she can do is say no.

 

Eye contact matters? I only realized that I think they're right. I always look straight in the eyes. When it comes to man I look him casually straight and somewhat more serious or it depends on our moods, but in non-romantic/special way. When ladies, I still use to look at them sincerely, genuinely and with adornment, more positive than with boys: and sometimes a lot of eye contact. Although it changes when we know the person enough because we are unconsciously putting people into category if they are good or bad or to trust or not to trust.
Maybe a gaze or just a glance worth meanings. If people are more observant, it works. In case if someone is not ready to come out and they denied your question, you can observe them but please don't creep us out some people that ask and they still watch like a hawk it is really awkward and scary

 

I'm not skilled in the "lesbian" field... but Ally is the best xD

[YOUTUBE]wPNqaOwj7ko[/YOUTUBE]

 

How good are you at reading behaviors of people? You can usually tell by they act you if they are attracted to you or to someone. I think someone has mentioned it earlier but eye contact. Its the secret language to attraction. Its basically the eye contact you would make at someone who you find attractive, and the heart pulsing vibe when they look at you back....

 

Interesting! I'm very femme. I wonder if anyone is able to spot me. :icon_bigg

 

Long eye contact isn't always a tell-tale sign, I know a lot of people who just use extended eye contact with everybody (I think it's a cultural/regional thing, depends where you're from). It's the kind of eye contact.

As to the attraction vibes or "zing", like you said, it's hard to describe. But I'd say for me it's almost like the person is magnetic to me, like I just want to reach out & touch them. And like happiness bubbling up & out from inside me. And when they get in close physical proximity to me my mind goes completely blank except for them in that moment.

 

For me the 'zing' is like a sudden hyper awareness of that person. I look at then I look again because something is not right, so to speak. Its like I just am so aware of her. Eye contact is usually regional, but if they sweep your body from head to feet and look right at you and smile, yeah she's gay.

 

It's pretty difficult if they're particularly feminine. But usually if they look at you and you look back the eye contact usually does it for me.

 

It's hard to explain, for me it's just a feeling I get, and I end up being right. I wouldn't bluntly ask her if she's gay though, just kind of ease into it, maybe by talking about something affecting the gay community and seeing how she responds, maybe mentioning an ex-girlfriend if you're comfortable and the conversation goes that way.

 

I feel like I'm on the opposite side of this question!!! How do I get more butch/stud girls to notice me? Everyone just thinks I'm being friendly when I smile/flirt, or I feel like if I continue to look her way through a crowded bar she's going to think I'm staring in a judgmental/disapproving way not in a "hey you're cute" way. I'm really new to being open to acting on the way I feel so I'm sill a bit shy about it. It's just hard. haha I feel for you!

I don't think there is a way to tell? Idk, is there? I would say just make conversation with her, feel it out? I think it can be hard because everyone is afraid of being rejected.

Let us know how it goes!