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Random Romantic moments to opposite sex

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Jax12, Apr 9, 2015.

  1. Jax12

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    There's random moments when I want to be romantic to a girl, and when I realize that I immediately get scared and become uncomfortable with the idea of it.

    Has anyone experienced this? It's one of the main reasons why I keep jumping back between labels and shit. I know I don't have to decide now, but some clarification would be much appreciated.
     
  2. Kyro

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    Really depends, when I was very closeted a while back i'd often imagine my life in the future with a man, but I later realized I only liked those feelings because it gave me a feeling of acceptance from my parents. The only reason I enjoyed it was because it made me feel "normal". But you also could be bisexual, pansexual, etc. I always just say it takes time and wondering. Don't dwell on it like I did though, let yourself slowly find yourself. Best of luck! :smilewave
     
  3. Scifiguy338

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    I have those romantic moments with the opposite sex, as well as the same sex. It could mean you are panromantic, polyromantic or biromantic. However, it could also be related to social conditioning and upbringing, and our ideas about what ideal love is.

    I wonder why you get uncomfortable in those random moments, is it because you are not dating the girl and feel it is wrong? It would be interesting to see what happens if you didn't get that discomfort. From my experience, during times where I was questioning heavily, I would worry when I experience something romantic with a girl because what if I was gay and would break her heart if I realised it while dating her?
    It may take time to work out if your random romantic moments indicate pan/biromanticism or are just due to social conditioning and/or denial/hope.
     
  4. Emily1

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    I can definitely relate. If a guy is interested in me and he's good looking i'll do this flirty thing where I just smile a lot and look into his eyes. It's like i'm so conditioned to flirting with boys that it's strange to stop, think and quit what i'm doing. It also confuses me, but what does help, is that I then think of being with them sexually and I instantly drop it. I hope this trick works for you!
     
  5. Jax12

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    I think a majority of the time, I'll feel attracted to men. And then at random moments I'll have that romantic feel and sometimes I won't feel it at all.

    @scifiguy338 "...Would worry when I experience something romantic with a girl because what if I was gay and would break her heart if I realised it while dating her?"

    I've though about it as well, and I think this is what scares me the most. Now that I've accpeted my same sex attractions, I'm not sure why my opposite sex attractions are stil there, and if it's really social conditioning at all. I find myself avoiding anything that will allow myself to have thoughts about girls, and if I do I try my best to push out the thoughts. Although, could be a hope/denial thing like you mentioned.
     
  6. ellyy

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    Jax12, do you want to be gay? Is that why you're pushing away any thoughts about girls.
     
  7. Jax12

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    I've certainly heard myself say that before, that I want to be gay and have nothing to do with girls. Everytime I feel attracted to a girl I get depressed/upset. Not sure why.
     
  8. ellyy

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    You know what? I feel the exact same way except the other way around. There are still times when I doubt myself and think that I might be bisexual which makes me feel depressed because I want to be gay for some reason... I've been thinking that maybe it goes deeper than a desire to be gay and it means something else but I don't know what.
    But it's definitely something I've been thinking about for a long time now. If only I could figure it out...

    Since I'm kind of in the same position as you I can't really give you any good advice, sorry..
     
  9. Jax12

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    @ellyy well I'm glad to know that someone can understand my struggle. I think I'll be happy with whoever I am in the end, I just want to know now for some reason and not later.