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Haven't been capable of attraction for a while???

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by suchconfusion, Apr 8, 2015.

  1. suchconfusion

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    Hey guys!! So I'm very confused. I've been struggling with my sexuality for the past 6 months or so. Now, I've always liked guys, but suddenely I started liking girls romantically/sexually and my interest generally completely shifted to females and I didn't like males anymore. But then, recently, I noticed I don't attracted to people anymore. Like there was an off switch and I just can't anymore. My feelings for girls vanished but my feelings for males never returned and I'm left with nothing. It's been like that for a few months other than some weak attraction to one girl. Essentially, I can look at a girl and rather than thinking "Wow, she's attractive." i think 'Wow, I should find her attractive but I don't."
    I don't even feel capable of being with anyone. I can't muster up the feeling of being attracted to someone or liking someone romantically, I can't even comprehend them in my head. I used to, but now I can't. Is that normal? I don't really orient as bisexual so much anymore, but is it a thing to just stop...feeling? Or is it just me? It's kind of stressing me out because I'm pretty confused and I really wish I could turn everything back on. I really appreciate any feedback/advice. Thank youu!
     
  2. Emily1

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    How do you feel about possibly being bisexual or gay? If you are a bit uneasy about it, your subconscious may have decided to turn off all romantic/sexual emotions just so you don't have to deal with the prospect of liking the same gender. I would wait it out and really try and be honest with yourself about how you feel.
     
  3. mindthegap

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    I totally agree with Emily1 about turning off your romantic/sexual feelings. I am an example of it being possible. I was questioning myself for the first time 5 years ago, I was scared of my feelings and this fear together with me being sad and depressed after my mum got sick and died of stomach cancer made me burry me feelings deep inside of me. I burried my feelings for girls. I had small crushes on boys, but they lasted really short period of time and it was never anything sexual/romantic, I just thought of boys because I was hearing about them around me. But when I was asked on a date, I wasn't interested, I completely ignored boys. During these 5 years I had two very close friendships with girls. Back then I didn't think of it as something sexual/romantic. I just considered it to be a friendship, mainly because both girls were taken, had boyfriends. But when I look at it back now, I enjoyed spending with them A LOT of time (sometimes getting jealous when they were with someone else instead of me), doing together things like grocery shopping, cooking, having fun, with one of them I was even taking care of my aunt's small twins. But I didn't really have any feelings towards those girls, not that I know of. But when you look at it now, it seems I was doing things people use to do in relationship. But I didn't feel anything. Now it's five years later, I started questioning myself again. I try to keep myself open to whatever happens because I just don't want to burry those feelings again, I shut them down before for a long time and wasn't happy at all, because I used to feel lonely, but when I thought of being with a boy, I didn't see that possible and possibility of being with a girl just wasn't there anymore.
    So I would suggest you not stress too much about who you could be, as Emily said, be honest with yourself and even if being gay scares you, don't try to hide your feelings, be open to that possibility. You could hide them for a while, but you won't get rid of them, they will just come back. It's not worth wasting your time.
     
    #3 mindthegap, Apr 9, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2015
  4. suchconfusion

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    I mean I'm completely okay with being bi or a lesbian. It'll be really difficult for my family but I'd be fine with it. But you're probably right, because it was stressing me out immensly. Literally almost every day, I'd think about it and get more and more confused about what I liked. So I guess hopefully it'll pass and I'll try not to stress about it, now that I know its just not me :/ Thanks for the replies
     
  5. Fallingdown7

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    Is it possible you haven't met anyone who interests you in a while? My last crush ended last August, and before then it took me 3 years to even have one again. Some people just have a change in attraction.
     
  6. EpicConfusion

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    I don't think that's abnormal at all. I've had one actual real crush in my life.
     
  7. suchconfusion

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    I guess there's a chance I'm just super uninterested in everyone. It's just weird, I've never been like this :/
     
  8. EpicConfusion

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    Don't stress it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't for a while, no worries.
     
  9. MarriageVeil

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    Maybe you're going through stress and your body just shuts down from that. I notice that when I'm undergoing a heavy amount of stress, especially relationship-related, I just shut down from anything to do with romance/sexuality. Stress often has a negative impact on hormones and libido. You could also just be getting sick of people, because maybe something happened between you and someone else. Or you noticed a characteristic you don't like on another person. Diet and exercise also affects how you feel, so maybe you want to check up on that.