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Do others here feel they are meant to be alone?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by C P, Apr 8, 2015.

  1. Jambon

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    I think that society puts so much pressure on being in a relationship that it's normal to feel odd if you just don't care.
    It strikes me as odd that the people who are constantly looking for a relationship, always in need of someone are considered normal, and those who are happy by themselves and not fussed are considered odd.
    Just the other day my housemate was taking about all the girls he had been talking to online through various different sites and apps. As soon as the conversation dies with one girl, there is another on the scene. Then I mentioned that someone I went to school with had got in contact and asked if I walked to go out for a drink. I'd declined the offer because he's a bit of a tit and I wasn't interested. Now the response from my housemate was that I should of gone out anyway because dating is what people do and then he called me a eunuch.
    Just because I'm happy with my own company and don't possess the desire to 'hunt' for a relationship 24/7.

    Totally backwards!
     
  2. dano218

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    No I don't. Here is the honest truth if you go around thinking your meant to alone and never will found someone guess what you probably will never find someone. I know because I used to think that and when I quit thinking that I finally found love and happiness in my life. Even though I lost that love in god forsaken tragic way being in a committed relationship showed that I can find love again and I am in no hurry to find it. Believe me nothing annoys me more than the people on facebook who complain about being alone day by day and complaining about hopeless crushes. I avoided painful crushes and complaining being single after awhile and is the best thing i ever did for myself.

    My aunt is the nicest smartest person I know enjoyed her life and did not get married until she was like 55. They have a happy relationship and make it work despite the differences they have. I think there is love available is for everyone and honestly it just takes patience and time for good things to happen. If you think at 20 or even 30 you are gonna die alone than guess what you probably might die alone. Sounds harsh but I think it is truth about a lot of things.
     
  3. Nova Ves

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    For a very long time, I was asexual and biromantic (although more like aromantic, since I didn't want a relationship and didn't understand the point of dating.) The main point is that I could feel platonically the same for people of both binary genders. I was okay with being alone during this time, and to be honest I think I needed it.

    Right now, I'm undergoing a shift in thinking where I'm reassessing different parts of my identity. I've known I could and can feel romantic attraction for some years, so I know that the idea of being alone is not as fun as it used to sound. But in all honesty, as I've climbed out of depression and am now focusing on dealing, one day at a time, with my anxiety, I'm starting to feel less and less like nobody should ever want to be with me, that I'm repulsive, immature, or somehow abusive or toxic. I tend to preoccupy my mind so that I don't slip down that spiral of thinking again, and so far it's going quite well.
     
  4. C P

    C P
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    This, so much! That whole 'there is someone for e'rybody' notion is something you can consider the 'exhibit A' of that.

    I don't get why someone wanting to remain alone has that kinda stigma surrounding it.

    Okay, I don't know if this was just a general statement on your part, so this isn't so much as a slight at you, but I'll just put it out there and ask if you read the OP? I'll paraphrase it:

    'I don't need some other half to feel complete/happy; my main concern, as of now, is whether or not I'll ever be able to be open about my feelings.'

    I haven't been in a relationship before, or been on a date for that matter, so it isn't like I'm 'missing' anything anyways.

    Now, ofc, those who constantly inform you of their loneliness and ya di da, on social media and e'rywhere, probably should get their butts in gear, but what wrong is there if someone just feels they are better suited to be alone? Those who agree with that last bit are who my question was geared toward(as I mentioned); just didn't mind other opinions on the matter. There may or may not be love for everyone(I personally don't think so), but not everyone will find it or need to find it, as Tightrope put it:

    ______
    I can relate because I didn't really see anyone beyond a platonic sense growing up.
     
    #44 C P, Apr 12, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2015
  5. angeluscrzy

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    Everything I do I feel I'm just going through the motions. Of course given how obsessive I can be in my thinking, best that I NOT think I guess
     
  6. str82gay

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    There is always someone for someone out there.
     
  7. MotelGuy

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    Nah...Not even a little ..
     
  8. staries

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    I do feel like I'm meant to be alone and it scares me a little...
     
  9. TheStormInside

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    I used to feel this way, but I don't anymore and do hope to find a lifelong companion. I have a lot of trouble with social interaction and at times felt it just wasn't worth it. For a long time I had no interest in relationships, either. But as I find myself growing and improving I am able to see that there are possibilities out there for me. I think realizing I'm gay has helped a lot, actually,because I always felt I would never be able to tolerate living with a guy and sharing personal space with him. I can be rather rigid about my living situation and have trouble compromising, but I think if I found a woman I really cared for it would be easier to do than if I were with a guy whose company I enjoyed, but whose physical presence I just wasn't particularly drawn to.
     
  10. Fallingdown7

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    After discovering my sexuality/attractions are a lot different than 99% of society, I feel I am destined to be alone.

    I'd probably be considered best friend sexual/romantic (lol not using that as a label though), which tends to suck. I can only be attracted (emotionally, physically, OR sexually) to someone I have considered to be a best friend for at least two years (though in most cases it takes 5-7 years of friendship for me to develop feelings). But they never want more because at that point I'm more like a sister to them, It's "awkward" and they don't want to ruin the friendship.

    But on the flip side if we aren't best friends (and no just friends doesn't even work for me) I have zero interest. Ever. I know I'm not undesirable, people ask me out all the time. But I always say no....I'm just not interested. And I have tried the dating thing. I've tried relationships with people I'm not close to or even friends with for a few months. It never works, I'm never attracted enough, I feel awkward/uncomfortable when they show interest, and I always end up hurting them.

    I had to break up with my ex-girlfriend back in 2011 (at the time) because we were friends for four months first and it wasn't long enough for me to become attracted. I felt zero spark, nothing, and I ended up breaking her heart.

    I am destined to be alone now that I realize how this works for me.
     
  11. DinelodiiGitli

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    Romantically? Maybe.
    Platonically/queer-plantonically? No.

    Though there aren't many people I get along with I certainly don't think I'm meant to be alone.
     
  12. XenaxGabby

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    There are times when I sit back and look at how my life is. I say I want a relationship but sometimes I think that maybe I don't. Like, if I really wanted to meet somebody I would make an effort but I haven't. A part of me feels content with being alone. Relationships seem like a lot of hard work. There is also potential heartbreak (lying and cheating) and I think I'd rather just skip that part.
     
  13. Daydreamer1

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    It's cold to say, but it's not so much meant to be alone, but deserve to be alone.
     
  14. Joelouis

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    There are days when I want to find a partner and others where I'm happy living alone.
    I don't think I'm actually meant to be alone, just that my lifestyle is keeping me that way.

    I have actually had a few proposals this year but I made excuses such as working too hard or anything else I can think of. Silly really as I may regret it one day.
     
  15. That one guy

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    I don't think I'm destined to be alone but it's gonna take a while to find someone dumb enough to live with me XD
     
  16. flyawayfree

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    I feel that I am meant to be alone. It's not that I don't believe there is someone out there, it's that I have absolutely no interest in being in a relationship. I've dated before and it is not for me and I am content with that.
     
  17. Justinian20

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    I feel like it's my destiny to be alone, because I am so weird I can't imagine anyone who'll like me in the real world. I get so sad and always on the verge of crying if I think about being lonely, cause I really do want someone to spend the rest of my life with.
     
  18. Gandee

    Gandee Guest

    I can't give a definite yes or a definite no. But I do know that, some individuals out there are just perfect for me (at least in my mind, they are). Whether they like me back or not is an entirely different matter. So I will just adopt this mindset: "Baby, together we can rule the world. You are not attracted to me? That's fine, your loss." And I will never settle for less. Someone who adores me, but lack the qualities I'm attracted to, won't cut it. I will either have everything I desire, or I will rock this world by myself.
     
  19. atoadaso

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    Eh, I feel like this sometimes. It could just be because I'm really young, but I've never made relationships a priority (unless I'm in one, of course). I also feel like I develop crushes less often or at a slower rate than most people I've met. Maybe as I get older I'll be more concerned about finding someone, but I kind of like just focusing on myself & my friends. Then again, I get extremely lonely very easily. I like being in love & I like having someone, but I'm not someone who hates to be single. I don't know that I'm meant to be alone, but the thought isn't that distressing for me at the moment.
     
  20. PlantSoul

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    Yes, and it's a been dilemma. One hand, I would like to be able to spend time with people, make new friends and be in relationships. But on the other, I feel like I'm better off alone. I've got a solitary soul and I'm introverted. Being social tends to suck the life out of me. Keeping up friendships is so stressful. "Hey! Do you want to go out?" Sh*t! What do you do?! Humans are so strange! I think limited contact may be best for me, at least at the moment.

    On the subject of romantic relationships, I am even more of a mess! :help: With the exception of one person (I don't think we're meant to be in this way), I can't seem to relax enough with people. I don't want a lot of physical contact and when I get physical contact, even if I initiate it, I usually end up regretting it.

    I can't tell you have many times I have craved moving out into the wilderness, where there aren't many people around, and being one with nature. Leaving modern society. I think I'd be a lot more productive and happier this way.
     
    #60 PlantSoul, May 10, 2015
    Last edited: May 10, 2015