1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Can you change into straight?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Nerazim, Apr 7, 2015.

  1. Nerazim

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2015
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Moscow
    Gender:
    Male
    Okay im homosexual but when i was young i had a crush on some girls(classmates) and i have not thinked to have sex with them or to any women.I have researched a lot on how to change and stop being homosexual but its the hardest thing to do.Im ashamed because im just the only boy in the family and no one knows im gay but they suspect because of my actions.I do not like girly things i like action in a straight way.I never dreamed to become a female and never will.Im so shy because im the only gay guy in my family and i envy my cousins because they are straight and i am not.I never wanted to be gay but i really want to change.Although i am not feminine i do like men and never on women.I tried to like women but its just im too shy.I just don't know how to become straight i know you people here don't have answers and i know the only answer is to be proud of it.But i think no since i don't want to be gay anyway.I wan't to have children and a wife.I don't want my bloodline to disappear just to be with a straight/bisexual guy or a gay partner.I am religious and scientific and i really need to find a way to become straight even with no answer.I really envy my male friends because they got gfs and im nothing alone in a dangerous world.I am not suicidal because i understanded its meaning which means nothing.
     
  2. Andrew99

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,402
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Milwaukee
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well good luck with that.

    Seriously though you can't change it's impossible.
     
  3. Greeley

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2014
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Midlands, UK
    I think we've all been that way.

    Heck, when i was 18 all the way to 22 i was adament that i'll be closeted for life and find a woman that i can be completely tolerent with and basically best friends with so i wouldn't dislike it as much. But 3 years of hating myself and resisting urges wore me down and eventually, i literally said "fuck it!".

    When i was 22, i moved in with my 2 best mates into a city a good 60miles away from my home town and came out the closet. You wouldn't believe how good it felt after saying the words "I am gay" for the first time, out loud, to someone in real life. It is like a breath of fresh air and everything goes quiet and its so peaceful.
     
  4. LooseMoose

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2014
    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi Nerazim.

    Being gay is not an illness. If it is 'unnatural', then so is heterosexual sex- most of the time people have sex is to bond, to show affection, and to feel pleasure- most of the time heterosexual people do everything to *avoid* having a baby - so the argument that 'straight sex is more natural because it leads to making babies' is complete and utter nonsense-
    most straight people do lots of unhealthy and 'unnatural' things, such as taking hormonal medication, to exactly avoid having a baby.

    If straight people behaved 'naturally' they would live most of their lives in celibacy after they had children.

    They don't, so it must mean all the emotional and physical aspects such as affection, bonding and pleasure are all an integral and valid part of what human sexuality is.

    Otherwise straight people who are too old to have children would also be told that they are 'unnatural' to want to have sex after they are able to produce offspring.

    Heterosexuality and homosexuality are almost exactly the same in terms being an expression of natural human instincts of wanting to bond and experience pleasure and love with each other- heterosexuality is not more or less natural than homosexuality.

    Science cannot 'cure homosexuality' and it cannot help you because homosexuality is not an illness, and heterosexuality is not 'the norm'- heterosexuality is simply the mostly common encountered and expressed orientation- but even many straight-identified people do occasionally like somebody of the same sex.

    Gay people can also have children- the person whom you have a child with does not need to be a romantic partner. In countries where gay people can live openly and where they have more rights, they adopt children, or have co-parenting agreements with other gay couples- single people.

    In more repressed countries, gay people can choose to marry and set up a family with a gay person of the opposite gender.
    In this case you might agree to have a family together, but to also have same-sex romantic partners.

    When it comes to religion: if god is perfect, does not make mistakes, and created us in his image, why did he make us 'wrong'?- hence it does not make sense that we are 'wrong'.
     
  5. guitar

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    2,062
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Southern Ontario, Canada
    Okay, couple of things:
    1. Being gay has nothing to do with wanting to become a woman. I'm perfectly happy being male and many other gay men are perfectly happy with their gender as well (that does not mean, in ANY way, I mean to belittle the plight and issues of transgender people). There are gay people (and straight people) who wish to change their assigned gender at birth, but that has nothing to do with "being gay."

    2. Being gay has to do with having an attraction to the same sex. It has nothing to do with "acting girly." Some gay men are effeminate, others aren't. The only thing that makes you gay is being attracted to men. Everything else is superficial. Everyone is different and unique.

    3. It is extremely unlikely you will suddenly stop being attracted to men. It can - and does - happen, but is quite rare. Your brain is wired for a certain sexual preference from birth. Science confirms this in countless studies. (Check out a video called Brainwash: Gay/Straight if you're interested in the topic).

    4. Just because you are gay does not mean something is wrong with you. You are not a murderer, or rapist, or a thief. You simply are attracted to (and I would assume want to love) someone of the same sex. Are you not entitled to find love and happiness? Two people should be able to be in love with whoever they want. Somewhere between 5-10% of the population is gay and being gay is found across the animal kingdom and throughout history. It's a perfectly natural phenomenon, and it ought to be celebrated and cherished, the same as any love between two straight people.

    I understand you're probably a bit scared and confused by your sexuality. It can take many months to an entire lifetime to come to terms with your sexuality. Society revolves around heterosexuality. Going against that social norm can be painful, especially when your entire life everyone has thought of you as a straight person. I would see if you can seek the advise of a councilor or someone close to you that you can talk to. When I was struggling with my sexuality, the only thing that helped was talking with gay friends and telling them how I was feeling and gaining their support and trust. Knowing someone else feels the same way you do can be a powerful thing.
     
  6. Foz

    Foz Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2015
    Messages:
    979
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    You Kay
    Gender:
    Male
    While Mr Putin believes that statement, it just can't be done, you can lie to yourself, bottle up your feelings and force yourself into a straight relationship. But it will never feel right, I had a relationship with a girl for a year when I was 19 but it never felt right, there was just some level of connection that was missing. I lived in denial for years as being gays wasn't something I wanted, nor did it fit in with my life plans, I tried ignoring it and it nearly cost me my life. Your sexuality is a key part of you and cannot be ignored or changed.
     
  7. lemons123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2014
    Messages:
    548
    Likes Received:
    0
    I only change straight guys into gays and straight girls into....lesbians 0_0. lol
     
  8. LooseMoose

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2014
    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Can you change lemons into lemonade?
     
  9. lemons123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2014
    Messages:
    548
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yes, I can even make Jay Leno change his name to Jay Lemon.
     
  10. nohalos

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    331
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Philippines
    I'm really sorry but, you can't just change like switching a light on and off. I'm sorry pal, but it doesn't work that way.

    Scientifically speaking, it's almost impossible to change your sexuality. It is fluid, but you can't totally do a 180 with it.

    I did go through the same thinking like you. I hated that I was the only male kid of the family, with the bloodline of my father risked to discontinuity since I am gay, and I hated the fact that I lived in a world where gay people face hatred every single day, and I was to face the same thing.

    After years of denial, I accepted I was gay when I was about 13 or 14. I knew I couldn't do anything about it. Heck, I was born this way.

    I encourage you to stay in this forum. Figure things out, we will all help you in your situation. Sure, we can't turn you straight, but we'll help you see how you should not think of yourself as a lesser person than your friends. You're no less of a human if you're gay, and you're no less of a man if you're gay.
     
  11. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    There's one point on which pretty much all the natural sciences and social sciences people agree: Sexual orientation is fixed, if not before birth then very early in life. Nobody credible believes it is possible to change it.

    The only people who believe it is possible to change sexual orientation are religious nutjobs, and the largest of those groups, Exodus, realized that they were full of shit and had caused untold harm to many people... and they shut down the organization entirely.

    So that ought to tell you something.

    I know how hard it is to reconcile these feelings, and it's important to realize change really isn't an option. As you process this more, it will become easier to accept, and that's the direction you need to go in.
     
  12. MotelGuy

    MotelGuy Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2015
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tijuana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Nope...I wouldn't be able to even if my life depended on it...What's so great about being straight anyway?
     
  13. Austin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2008
    Messages:
    3,172
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Not at the moment. Probably in the future.
     
  14. LooseMoose

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2014
    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    why would you want to change anyway?
     
  15. Jinkies

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,321
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So, pretty much everything I want to say has been said by others. There's no changing your actual sexual orientation.

    However, there is something I do want to bring up, and you may reflect back on this in the future.

    While your sexual orientation can't change, your understanding of it can. For example, you may one day find yourself attracted to women, then the next day it's all guys again, and wonder why you were attracted to women in that brief time. Know that it is part of your orientation, and it always has been. It never did change, but you've learned something new about it. You've also learned something about yourself, and about the human body, in general.
     
  16. Milonov

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2014
    Messages:
    114
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Russia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Oh dear god, another Russian!

    Hail Putin, comrade!

    Okay, seriously, though, "phases" aside, you generally cannot change your orientation. It may be a phase. As you can guess, I had one once and that is why I stayed on this website.