I'm 21, and I'm still technically a virgin, I guess. The only experience I've had is a hand-job one time.. However, I don't think I like the idea of anal sex, being top or bottom. It just doesn't appeal to me.. Is that bad? Are there any other gay guys like that?
There are no rules to what you should like or do not like! If you do not like it, then so be it, you can stick to sexual activities that you do like, whether it be hand jobs, oral, rubbing, etc. No need to feel any pressure, many are of similar mind as you are.
I agree with OnTheHighway. I will also say that a lot of guys are sort of afraid/grossed out/ otherwise turned off by the idea of anal sex... until they are with someone who really enjoys it and knows how to make it really enjoyable. So there are people who have tried it and it just isn't for them... but there are plenty of others who, once they can learn to relax and enjoy it, think it's the best thing ever.
I dont see anything bad or wrong with it. Maybe anal isnt your thing. Dont pressure yourself on liking it just because your partner/future partner likes it. Clear it out to him that you are not comfortable with it. And yes, there are many gay guys that feels the same like you with anal sex. There are even some here in EC. Probably you can ask advice from them when you meet some
Anal just isn't for some people. There was an article here which applies very well to people such as yourself and is pretty interesting.
Its weird with me. I usually really dont like the idea of it, but occasionally there will be a one off time when I really want it, so you would have to catch me at that time. XD -
I think its one of those things that if you find someone you really like. You'll end up liking what they like, so say you are with some guy that likes bottoming, you'll end up topping him and enjoy it because you see he enjoys it. So it'll change your view on it maybe.
You don't have to do it. Sex is so much more than just penetration; just because someone doesn't like that specific thing doesn't meant they won't have a good sex life.
Ahem - speak of the devil...:icon_bigg Rather more seriously, my (very unscientific) estimate from threads like this on EC is that roughly 20-30% of gay guys are 'not into' anal, with 'not into' ranging from 'well, if you want to' to 'Hell will freeze before I do that!!!' For my part, I fall more into the 'if you want to' range. I spent years trying anal at various times (top and bottom both with some toys thrown in for variety), including being in a three year relationship with a dedicated top during which sex took place almost nightly. Mostly because 'that's what gay guys do' (or so I thought). If nothing else it gave me lots of time to balance my checkbook in my head. All in all, I find a good professional grade body massage (especially a hot stone massage on a cold winter's day) to be a lot less work and provide a lot more pleasure. Beyond that, it was also a good bit of time before I actually encountered a sex partner who actively asked about doing anal. In my experience a lot of guys never even brought it up and were perfectly fine with mutual masturbation, oral, etc. Even out of those who asked, only one (the 3yr relationship), gay any sense that it really mattered to them whether or not we did it. My husband feels much the same way as I do about the matter. Although we've done anal a few times, we've basically concluded that there are a lot of other more enjoyable ways to spend our time. If you don't feel like doing anal, don't worry about, own it, and most guys aren't going to be overly fussed about the matter. Plenty of other fun things two (or more if that's your thing) guys can do together. Todd
Sometimes people love generalising by saying that all gay people like anal sex when that is clearly not true. Not everyone loves it and as the previous posters have said, they tend to do other things instead.
We are alike. Except that I didn't even get a handjob lol. Anyhow, yes, I don't fancy the idea of anal sex too, atm. Maybe my mind will change, maybe it'll stay the same but one thing I know is that right now, I don't fancy it.
this topic is interesting to me. I have bee out since my late 20's. in the begin g I didn't like the idea of anal sex either, but I explored and tried it. I found I liked both top and bottom if done correctly. I still like oral and hand-job and making out and frot much more. Now I'm in a place where I'm single and trying to date guys but due to some physical/medical issues bottoming is off the table. I don't think I can. I been having trouble with fissures even from non sexual stuff like large hard stools, so I need time to heal. It may be that I will never be able to be the catcher at all. I'm Okay with that but I have this fear that who ever I date in going to expect me to be top, bottom or vers, when I really feel like now I don't even want to do anal sex at all mostly. I might top if I had a partner that wants it. I just fell like when I tell a guy I'm more in to things other than anal and not willing to be the bottom due to my issues that going to be the end of it.
I'm a virgin too, and fantasizing about anal sex is fine, and a definite turn-on. But many times thinking about the reality of anal, like preparation, smells and "accidents", makes it a lot less appealing for me.
And so? Make sex it's not only option! The love, desire, can be manifest in a lot of forms beyond sex. If you don't like anal sex, this don't turn you less gay. It's your particular choice!
Nope, not bad at all. I'm a gay guy, I don't like anal sex, and, like you, I was worried that that would be an issue when I started coming out, but as it turns out, there are a lot of gay guys who don't like/don't participate in anal sex. You're fine.
good to know. I realize it may not be easy to find a compatible guy more so than before but I'm going to try. I know the media and porn makes it look like you have to do anal to be gay. hopefully I will find one that feels like me. who knows. maybe there is one perfect guy that will be relieved in not that in to anal sex.