Rap battle!

Back for more?
This time, don't be such a bore.
State of Lincoln, I spit that Four Score--
Still sore about that Civil War,
Divided a nation, girl, that wasn't lore.

We may have been a Confederacy,
But now you claim you're better than thee?
That's heresy --
Let's see,
Sunshine State,
What you gonna do? Blind me?

My future's bright,
'Tis why I wear shades,
Even at night.
You talk about Round Two--
Wait, was this even a fight?

*DING, DING!*

'Crusty', 'Kentucky', oooh, that's supposed to fuck with me?
Listen here, Marty, you're nothing but a chicken,
Get that DeLorean and go back to 1953.

You're old news, even Huey Lewis thinks it true.
Maybe after I destroy you,
You'll rise up better, like a Phoenix.
But if you watched my DVD,
You've already seen this.

Spoiler Alert:
Your winner, Thy Empress.

That peasant nonsense? Please,
That was plot hax,
Next time you speak, also bring the facts.

Your rhymes are trash, sputtered noise pollution,
You can ask Captain Planet,
I'm inSULTAN' Arab revolutions with Ottoman solutions.




The rest, will have to wait.
Once again, all <3 Jellal.

 

Jellal, Jellal, Jellal, where do I start?
With the poetic grace of a long-winded fart,
username taken straight outta Fairy Tail,
You’ve tried to slay me but to no avail.
You’ve got determination and I’ll give you that,
but once I squash you, I’ll wipe you off on my welcome mat.
I did go back to the drawing board and guess what?
I brought back some rhymes phatter than jabba the hutt.
You dissed us one by one like we were on your grocery store checklist,
But I'll take you one-on-one and chew you up like it’s breakfast.
Or rather, like I’m Lucina munchin’ her lunch so delicious
Swallow you whole and then just like that; you’re fictitious.
Everyone on EC knows I’m the most vicious
femcee to step up in this Internet forum,
your rhymes induce boredom,
they’ll have to dissect your body postmortem,
because if we all find what we expect to find,
then pretty soon I should find my boot lodged in your sorry behind.

 

Looks like I'm on double duty for this battle rap thing
Both you femcees gonna get it like I'm Natsu stomping Rogue and Sting
I throw such strong shade I make my own state pitch black
My power eclipses yours Kaiser, and that ain't a fact
That's up for debate, 'cause no matter the state
You rep I'll rip your ego like you're on an awkward first date
Damn straight I got determination, but that's just half the war
The other half's my patience putting up with crap that makes me snore
So call that discipline, or masochism maybe
To read raps covertly crafted by someone's sixteen-month-old baby
Your rhymes are so "phat" Heatman, that they're too slow to catch me
I took the wind out from your wings and now I'll leave the rest to gravity
Dissect me?
Don't think so
Because I ain't a frog,
Despite these fly verses I snag
No, I'm afraid you and Kaiser
Are the ones in the bag
Made for bodies, dead bodies, if that wasn't clear
I'm like L from Death Note, and you're Mello & Near
Ill-advised clones of the genius OG
Call me MC Monsters Inc. because my closet ain't empty
It's full of monsters who devour weak rhymes instead of screams
You gave 'em plenty to chew on, I guess you made a good team.

 

Now listen suckas
Cause I'm bringin' the flame
Slappin' out your puny tri-als
I'm takin' this game
'Cause check it
You ain't never seen a baller pushing on through it all
You be like "save me, God of Anime" as I rapture your fall
I'll be never stoppin' runnin' as I'm heeding the call
Finding what I expect
As I raze you to null

You see, that is the rap
Of your futility, oh
I've done f-ed you up
By supremacy galore
Now you better take flight
Or enter self-seeking mode
Cause stay here and you'll die
In my presence you'll explode

(Love ya all lol <3. )

 

You wanna talk about school? But lack a degree?
I'm the M.D. of E.C.--
Most Divine, even the initials agree.

Professor Kaiser,
Nobody wiser,
Smoke the finest so my highs get no higher,
I've got acrophobia and can't come down--
#---NoLiar.

Nothing you say burns me,
Need I remind you, I'm a fire prodigy?
Almost isn't good enough, you see,
But that's the epitome of all you'll ever be,
Isn't that right, Ty Lee?

'Mistress of Pain', you must be a masochist,
How else could anybody enjoy this?

That's that then,
No Happily Ever After,
Just...

The Swed-en[d].





I had fun with this. Hope it's up to par, Lazuri. <3.

 

You be a big disgrace then I'll kick you in the face and shoot you with a mouthful of mace.

 

Can anyone rap without the N-word?
What would Malcolm have preferred?
How about Martin or Huey,
Admire 'em, even if they never knew me.

Suburbia Panther,
With the voice of a Pastor,
Not even DA LAWD could WHOOP YO' ASS FASTA!

Your style is a mess,
Sounds somewhere between a gargle and garble,
Polish it up,
Make 'em shine like mine --
MARBLE.

You're in my church,
So come on down the aisle,
I'll baptize you with some Kentucky style,
Eliminate any denial you have about your lyrical vile.

'Hot metaphors' and 'cumming on whores',
No wonder your rapping future is closed doors,
"Clean up, on Aisle 4", stock boy,
You're more suited for grocery stores.




<3.

 

Oh it's kaiser on the block,
Block fo' CHOPPIN'!
So let's get this rap on,
Gonna give you a whoppin'!

You think yo' so hard,
With your petty little rhymes,
But they are so shit,
they only last for four lines!
You rap so hard,
With a vipers tounge,
Bet yo gonna hiss at me soon,
So let's get this job done.

I'll stab you in the back,
Rip at yo' lungs,
I'll murder yo' ass,
Into oblivion.
Yo go walk into death,
And he say 'Why you so puny?'
Take down his hood,
An' you'll see his fave homie,
'His' name's Ryu,
I gonna tear you in two,
And this rap ain't done,
Until I rub yo' face in POO!

Ooooohhhh demmmmn skilllllzzz...

 

Fuck my shitty English...

 

Who are you impressin' rhyming 'session' with 'lesson'?
What grade are you in? Don't leave me guessin'!
Think you're messin' with my stress, then,
Only with your luck are you pressin'.

Call yourself a dragon, like that's amazing,
I've been burned by hotter ash, from a cigarette blazing.
Fire Princess; my razing is worthy of praising.
Chew on that, peasant --
... GRAZING.

I don't even need to say anything! LOL.

 

Hey hey, ya twat,
Ya said yo gonna rap,
But instead ya spat,
Some bullshit at,
The wrong person,
You no go rhyme at me,
Your silcky words,
They don't mean nothing to me!

(Yes, I know it should be anything but it wouldn't fit...)

 

Your name is Triflow,
So could you, uh, Try to Flow?
Okay, maybe that line was a little low,
So here's some more:

Your rhymes are summer campers,
And mine Jason Voorhees.
Machete, so fast, I'll split you in half --
Divorcees.

You? Tell me how to be famous?
You sure you didn't confuse that for 'lamest'?
Call me Darkwing Duck, 'cause I'm getting dangerous,
With a rap record oh so stainless,
Battling with me is only viable if you're brainless.

Let's talk about global supremacy,
It's been a dream, it's my destiny,
Drop you down to one knee,
Now bow to me,
The Empress MC,
Did you ever think I'd let you go free?

Keep you captive,
Call that Pharaoh.

Ask anybody who won,
They know.

That first line was fine,
But the rest, asinine,
Stick to catch phrases,
You suck after one line.

Calling me fake like I'm silicone?
Best check your tone.
Take a look at my throne,
These battles I do own,
It's no wonder at the end,
I'll be ruling alone.

Throw around a word like grotesque,
You probably think you're a rapping success,
But I'll shoot that dream up --
Name's Elliot Ness.

If there is a contest for most swagging,
You shouldn't be bragging,
Your style is behind, may as well call it sagging,
My name is the one everyone will be hash-tagging,
I am the future, you are the past,
I process, and you are lagging.

 

You asked for this, Ryu. I hope you approve!



Mr. Itty Bitty in my city,
Whinin' and cryin' with that negativity,
Yes I said it -- no pity.
Choke you with your guts -- still witty,
Squeeze you 'til your head busts-- still pretty.

You were right about hissing,
Watch where you spit, with that mouth pissing,
Face so drenched, them lips be glistening,

Hey, Dunkin' Donut-lips, are you listening?

Why did you call me out?
Couldn't wait your turn, you had to pout.
Come into a rapping ring, but never had a bout,
What's that all about?

I am transgender, that isn't fun,
I'm battle hardened, therefore,
I have already one.
Could be silly and incorporate a pun,
But you probably didn't catch the first won.

Rip at my lungs,
Murder my ass?

I'm Wally West, just too fast,
Just the best, never last,
Ego so big,
I've got to put you on blast:

EC is my Elm Street,
How you going to deliver my defeat?
Even in your dreams, I rule the beat,
So sit down, take a seat,
Because there will be no repeat:

I'M OVER 9,000~!!! --
A Saiyan Elite.

Next time you speak,
"My Empress",
is how you will greet.






<3

 

Did somebody say my name?

Yeah, thats right. Its Big G back in the game.
All these raps are the same.
They're tryin' to fire shots with no aim.
Shoot sparks with no flame.
Its time from the Queen B to reclaim.

All I need is one verse to put these kids in their place.
The baddest they've faced.
A flow with some taste.
The 'G' stands for grace.
Gen's winning the race.
He'll end this disgrace.

Big G will kill them; dump the bodies; no trace.​

 

Gen, I adore you...



But it must be done.




Big G?
Are you kidding me?
Dumping bodies like Green River--
You're just green with envy.

Call yourself an author?
Why haven't I heard of you?
Oprah doesn't know-ya,
When's that book gonna drop, bra?

I'm sorry, Gen,
That was uncalled for.
I'm white, not poor;
Too privileged to speak like that anymore.

It's 'Good Times' from here on,
Ah fuck, a black sitcom!

Everybody just start relaxin',
There's no need for affirmative action.
I like Soul Train and Michael Jackson.
I am not the racist one.

Back to you,
When's that best-seller due?
We've all been waiting since, like, what--
2002?

You believe the masses need your literary,
But is success even part of the itinerary?
Knowing that is elementary, you see,
If you wish to be Queen B of E.C.,
Especially best-selling on N.Y.T.,
Then, Mr. Author, write this down:

Leave the rapping to Kai-Z.

 

Excuse me while I put on my night dress
Don't even need a suit to greet Kaiser the Empress
This is not EC, this is simple Madness
A bunch of peasants can't get it up for ONE MAD ACTRESS

What's wrong Azula? Never got served by a bunny?
You think your lines so breezy but I'm sorry
I'm gonna bust your chi like Ty Lee
Show ya who the real boss of EC with my mad MC!

 

Show me a real M.C.?
You can't even take that left,
Back there at Albuquerque--
So much for rabbits being lucky;
Welcome to Kentucky!
The Gate to Dixie,
Rootinest, tootinest, we be,
More so than Yosemite.

Talk about Ty Lee, like you know her,
But I'll have you know she's my who--

"Heeeeeey~!"​

Real boss, you? Oh no,
I'm E.C.'s Tony Soprano,
Real deal Mafioso, bro!
You're more like Rocky and Mugsy,
With a directionless flow,
That's why folks be askin',
"Which way did dey go? Which way did dey go?"




Never in my life did I think I'd be incorporating Looney Tunes into a rap, LOL. <3

 

Hello there, I think a round 2 is long overdue
My flows’ so sick it’s gonna send you…straight to the loo?
Actually forget what I just said, I’m just a little bored, let have a little world war
A battle of alter-egos that scares even Peter Parker
You know what I’m talking about, it’s time for the Glitch to have a showdown with the Necromancer.
But first I must ask, why did you even name yourself Glitch?
Is it because down there you have a gigantic itch which makes you go G-G-Glitch?
Oh I’m sorry, that’s a little crass, perhaps we should try for a bit more class
Words around town that you’ve got quite a name
Unbeknownst to you, you’re a pawn in my game
You’re just a cliché hitman, that’s quite a shame
A bit of cash is enough to get you tamed
A man got close to you and you gone apeshit
Calm down, mama, why did you have to get pissed? Take it easy and make a grocery list. And maybe you’ll make it to Santa’s list.
I’m the Lord of the night, so you’d better hide or you won’t be welcome to the afterlife
I resurrect threads, fill you with dread
Can your knives kill something already dead?
I guess it’s time to end this with a hashtag
Know this, #youshallnotpass


(I really think your character is awesome, I hope more people will come to the roleplay or she will go to waste ^_^)

 

Lying on the sofa
all curled and meek
but in my furry-fuzzy head
there's a rapping beat.
Gonna rap while I'm napping
and looking sweet
gonna rap while I'm padding
on the balls of my feet

Gonna rap on my head
gonna rap on my tail
gonna rap on my
you know where.
So wave your paws in the air
like you just don't care
with nine lives to spare
gimme five right here.

Well, they say that we cats
are killed by curiosity,
but does the moggie mind?
No, I've got suavity.
When I get to heaven
gonna rap with Macavity,
gonna find his hidden paw
and clear up that mystery.

Nap it up
scratch it up
the knack is free
fur it up
purr it up
yes that's me.

The meanest cat-rapper you'll ever see.
Number one of the street-sound galaxy.









by Grace Nichols

 

<yawns>

The Keeper is back, gonna clean the dirt
Imma start with Kaiser, no love no flirt
Mother Kaiser, I love you, youre my favorite
But Imma break God's 5th commandment and shake your shit
You keep messing with those poor dirt with their poor rap
But in the end youre like them, kuddos for trying, here's a clap
Princess Azula. You incorporate yourself with a royal blood?
I can put fire out with Water Gun of my level 2 Lotad

Another dirt, old smelly wizard
Hey Gandalf, want to feel the Keeper's heavy bombard?
And you call yourself a necromancer? Youre a fail!
You cant even revive your dying toe nail!
And you even tried to mess with the Empress?
She cant even touch my extreme awesomeness.

Chi and Bashful, Mr. Show off, sorry to break your ego
FYI everyone, he made that rap several years ago
But youre my fiend, and I'll forgive you
Here's a little poem, from Golgari to you
Roses are red, sky is blue
Every time I flush the toilet, I remember you <3

You are now next, Gen or Big G
For me, you are still EC's OG
You love green, so I love you
I really hope you love me too <3
Im your fan, I wont make you frown
But please, Big G, give me the green crown <3

The Keeper is done cleaning, so dirts beware
This thread is clean, no dust no hair
But when the dirts starts to increases again in number
Expect another clean up drive from the EC's Keeper.
Just a friendly reminder from your friend, Golgari
This is my garden, so shoo! FLEE!
If you dont, I'll water your blood to my lovely tree <3


(I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE you all!)