Any advice I can get would be appreciated!! My roommate just got reported to the dean of our college for a post on Tumblr about suicidal thoughts and abandonment issues!! He's at the hospital right now to talk to a professional, and hopefully that will be of SOME help. But... ...I'm under a LOT of pressure because he's having abandonment issues, and I have to tell him before May that I don't think we're working out as roommates!! >< We make good friends, but not good roommates. I'm like his naggy mom, and that's no fun at all! We were REALLY good friends last year, and I would always rush over to help him or cheer him up when he was down, and he would do the same for me. But now that we moved in together, that connection is kind of taken for granted and has been buried under everything else. I feel like having different roommates would help make our relationship stronger again, but I don't know a good way to tell him! I was planning on sitting him down while we have lunch or something together and asking him how HE thinks we're working out first, and go from there, but so far it seems like he's shot down any options where we wouldn't be together. Please help me think of what to do, everyone!!:help::help:
There is no clear answer for this. He obviously is going through a lot right now so I would avoid immediate confrontation about this right now. Wait until he seems alright and tell him that you would better if you to were no longer roommates. Listen your reasons then tell him that it would really help the friendship.
You definitely may want to wait a little bit but you should tell him just one day sit him down but make sure he is having a good day because it will be harder if he is already upset about something else. Just say hey we are great friends but honestly when we live together I feel like your mom and I don't want to be your mom, I want to be your friend and I feel like living together could do bad things for our friendship. Maybe even say something like the "its not you its me thing". Just rationally explain it to him even say how you didn't want to upset him but you didn't want to pretend. Heck if you can find someone who wants to live with him next year like another friend you can be like BUT blah wants to live with you that way they don't feel totally abandoned or alone. Hope this helps.
This isn't good for your roommate. Depending on how serious his suicidal thoughts are, the college deans could force him to take a medical leave of absence. The thing about severe depression is that it is not treated like any other health condition. For example, you don't have to go to the dean when you get sick with the flu. When a person is a danger to himself or others, it gets directed to the deans of the college, and the deans will act in the best interests of the college, not the student. As far as the college is concerned, a suicidal student is very bad PR. Suicides make the university look bad because it implies that the college fosters an unhealthy, high-pressure learning environment with an depressed student body. The college reacts to this dilemma by imposing a medical leave and removing the suicidal student from campus, thereby distancing themselves from the problem. It's a cold-hearted solution that ends up making the student feel even more isolated. Hopefully, your friend will be able to continue at the college. You should probably wait before you tell him of your intention to move out. It sounds like a precarious situation for him and you don't want to throw too much at him at once.
