My freind is kind of anti-gay. What should I do?

Hello mate,
well you don't have to come out to him if you are aware that it will end your friendship or to people that know him and you. I was in the same situation two years ago and I decided that it's better for me to be happy and be myself than to pretend and be suffocated by lies. He was my best friend throughout both schools and he later became liberal and we're hanging out again, but we just don't talk about lgbt stuff...

 

Happy that I've helped. And maybe you could ask somehow that friend why is he anti-gay. Maybe he just doesn't like that stereo-type gays or attention seeking gays and would be completely fine with 'the guys who don't look gay'.

 

I would make sure you have other friends and other supports around you. That way if you lose a friend you will still have other people around you. Also if your friend rejects you then to me you wouldn't be losing a friend. It's up to your friend if they accept to reject someone who is bi, if they do reject you based on that then perhaps they weren't much of a friend to begin with?

 

How good a friend are they? If they are not proper best-friend material, or a long-term friend, you are probably better off without them. I have a similar friend, and if he rejected me, I would not miss him at all. Have you got any other LGBTQ friends, or even just people you know? Is he OK with them? Has he ever voiced any homophobic opinions directly? Is it all jokes? Does he even know what homosexual is? I know when I was younger, most people thought "gay" meant "stupid". Then again, you are older.

Anyway, just think about this a little. Is it worth sacrificing your happiness for the integrity of this person's corrupt opinions?

 

I had a Catholic (not a normal everyday Catholic, her views are what I consider to be fundamentalist) friend. Let's just call her Amy for the sake of the conversation. Amy has a lot of views about Muslims, atheists, abortion, liberals, and the LGBTQ+ community that I find disgusting. We used to agree on a lot of things last year in 8th grade (I live in the USA by the way) but as I became more aware of my sexuality (and aware of life in general) I started to disagree with her a lot. Our friendship didn't take a toll until she started targeting a mutual friend of ours and trying to drag me into it. I took our other friend's side became Amy was being fake and just really toxic, and then Amy got mad at me. Our friend and Amy made up and everyone wanted everything to return to normal but I realized how much Amy's views disturbed me. I couldn't be friends with someone who hated gay people, as well as anyone else who wasn't a conservative Christian really. So I ended the friendships. Yeah I lost a lot of good friends because of that. Amy probably thinks I'm going to hell. But I had to do me. I have to accept who I am without outsides forces telling me that I'm wrong, evil, whatever. Yeah Amy is still trying to get people to get me to change my mind (I unfriended her back in October of 2014) but it's not going to work. I don't deserve it and I know that you don't either.
So there's my endless life story, I hope it helped

 

Hey Nathenial,

There is no need to rush to come out, as you are at school you have plenty of time to figure this all out. I am not saying it's a phase or suppress it, that is the last thing I am saying, I understand that you want it over and done with, if you don't feel ready then dont. When you got to college or university or whatever you plan to do, you'll be your own person ame it's no ones business but your own when it's your own. When it come friends, it doesn't matter if someone's homophobic, but between the ages of 16-18 we start to gain and loose friends and realise who are our true friends and which ones are not. If he a true friend that you say he is, then he will understand, if not then it's more of his issue, then yours. If you feel you need to get more information, try finding your local LGBT Youth group and they might be able to help you.