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What do you guys think of friends with benefits?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Johanz, Mar 18, 2015.

  1. Johanz

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    Hey, just giving an update so basically I posted a thread about this guy I'm hooking up with.. So it's been months close to a year.. I was just wondering what are your guys experience with friends with benefits? How long did it last? How did you make it last? Is it all purely sexual? What are the do's and don't and any other advice? So I've known him for a couple of years now but I only spend time with him at parties or in bed and I feel like we are not friends at all. Lol is this a perfect match? Lmao I feel like we only talked to each other when we want to hook up. I rarely hook up with him only when his alone in his apt, which is not very often. Like 2 to 3 times a month.. But we usually hook up when we get a chance. I'm just confuse about our relationship we never ever talk about our relationship we just have sex hahaha anyone with a similar experience?
     
  2. Emily1

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    Oddly enough, I was in a similar situation this past summer. We would text each other at like 2am on saturdays, so basically you get the point. It slowly stopped (lasted about 2 months). I brought it up once and she said she wasn't legitimately bisexual, she just thinks "hooking up with girls is fun." Shortly after that it sort of just stopped.
    So… back to you. Is the guy your hooking up with out of the closet? If not, my guess is that he's still in denial so you should be cautious because he can drop you the second he feels slightly insecure. If he is out of the closet, that means that you really are just friends with benefits and he wants nothing more. I get the feeling that you do feel something for him, even if its not that apparent. It's hard to dissociate emotions from sex, and speaking from experience, I know that. Although I never really talked to this girl or formed an "emotional bond" it still kind of hurt when it ended. I can't help but think what would have happened had it continued.
    I think friends with benefits is a very sticky situation (whether gay or straight), only gay fwb have that added chaos because one of the two may be closeted/in denial. I think it has the potential to mess with your head because you never know what the other one is thinking so it causes you to speculate a lot. My advice is to just go with it, don't over think it and just have fun. Hope this helped and feel free to ask anything else if you think it may help you!
     
  3. Johanz

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    Emily- No he is not out of the closet, I think he is Bi because he have sexual intercourse with both sex. Oh Wow, I wonder what happen to you guys. Im sorry to hear that btw.. With my case even tho we've known each other for quite some time we are not really that close.. We talked when we are alone and bond sometimes but not emotionally bond. But I guess we did one time but thats it. we literally just have sex and we never try to get to know each other. yeah its so true, as much as I hate to admit it, I think I deff feel something about him.. I dont know what it is but its out there, having sex with someone deff mess with my emotions. Yeah all I can do is speculate about whats his feelings or what are his thoughts. I dont even know if he likes it as much as I do. or if he thinks about me at all. as much as I think about our sex and I look forward for it ahha.. Well I guess I'l just have to try harder not to get attached. I dont even know I'm not really a clingy attached person type, it depends. I dont even know anymore my emotions are just all over the place because I dont know how we stand hahaha. And thank you for your advice Emily.. you are awesome.. :slight_smile:))