non binary thread

I'm not exactly sure if I'm supposed to be asking this, but will anyone here or elsewhere feel misgendered, offended, or otherwise upset if they are referred to as... well, "they"?

I know some people who use pronouns such as "zir" and "xe" as well as nounself pronouns (ex: lynx, lynxself) and I would respect those pronouns once I realized that is what they prefer (or if they preferred no pronouns at all), but I was wondering if they took offense to "they"?

I understand it isn't their pronoun, of course, but "they" is not my pronoun either, and I personally do not care if I was called "they". I do view it as gender neutral, after all, but maybe this is just a personal thing?

 

Hello! Recently-discovered NB person here. They/them pronouns are good with me.

 

I dont think i would appreciate they, to me it sounds like i am schizofrenic, like having two people in one body.
I told people that they can just call me he or she whatever they want because i know i'm a bit of both

 

What is the difference between non-binary and genderqueer? Pardon my ignorance!

 

Both essentially mean the same thing, as umbrella terms for any identity that is not 100% male or 100% female. They can both be identities in their own right too. They just have different connotations - for example GQ implies a connection with "queer culture".

 

I have genderqueer feelings but I use female pronouns on me. I don't go crazy for them, to tell the truth, but male pronouns sounds like I want to change my sex and plural pronouns sounds like I have multiple personality...Let's say female pronouns are pure bureaucracy for me

A genderqueer is a non-binary person.
A genderfluid is a non-binary person.
Because a non-binary person doesn't accept the rigid binarism man-woman.

 

Thanks for answering, everyone! =D

 

Thank you guys! I learned something new today.

 

Well, "singular they" isn't a plural pronoun though. We just don't realize the many cases we use them without thinking when there isn't context for a specific pronoun.

For example, I'm in a conversation with someone...

Someone: I have a friend who works there!
Me: Oh? And what role do they perform there?
Someone: They do <blah blah blah, words>.

 

I wonder sometimes about whether I'm non-binary, exactly. I go by the label demigirl here on EC because technically it is the most accurate. Like, if I felt 100% female, then I think I'd have stronger dysphoria. I'm more like 80-90% female. I feel really ambivalent about having a penis, like, it doesn't make me mad. I don't get dysphoria there, the only complaint I have is how it sorta gets in the way when I'm sitting with my legs crossed. I'm also very happy to know that I can't give birth or have periods. But I feel much more at ease with an outwardly female body image, being called "she" and not "he" (to me, "they" is far too impersonal.)

To my family and friends I just tell them I'd rather be treated/perceived as a girl, I haven't bothered with the "demigirl" technicality. It's just easier that way, and it accomplishes that "being perceived and treated as a girl" aspect which is important to me. I'm cool with every person who thinks that two boxes for gender are far too few, and those who want to jump out of the "box" system altogether. But as for me I am quite happy in the "female" box. If I don't fit all the perfect qualifications for the female box, that's good, hopefully it can make the box grow bigger.

So I guess by TECHNICALITY I am non-binary, but in terms of who I would rather be identified as when it comes to other peoples' perceptions, I have a binary way of thinking.

 

I sometimes wonder if I am demiboy, because I don't always feel 100% male and feel that there is a small agender part of me. Like I'm 80% male, 20% agender. But I want to live as male full time, to transition medically and to be seen and treated as male. I want to be addressed by male pronouns, but I'm fine with neutral too. I don't know if I'm demiboy or I'm just a gender non-comforming person. I feel comfortable identifying as transguy.

 

Oh, a bit about terminology. I'm still learning here - such as the nuances of non-binary, genderqueer, and genderfluid, and what they mean for different people.

 

That makes sense And of course it's always up to you whether you identify with being non-binary or not, technicalities be damned!

I understand what you're saying when it comes to the boxes - I quite enjoy the "box" system for myself (though I'm very passionate about not forcing people into boxes). It's like, 40% of the time I want to sit in male box, 40% I want to be in the female box, and the rest of the time I just want to run around building pillow forts. The binary system is definitely oppressive in its current form, but it can also be a source of strength for many people.

 

I guess I feel different than some others here in regards to 'they'; I don't feel it makes you seem crazy at all. As Alex pointed out above, there is a singular use of it and a lot of us use it all the time anyways, in cases where someone isn't specific about male/female.

I'm not going to cut your head off for calling me 'he' or 'she', as I don't care much about what is used, but I think in the long run I'll prefer 'they'. I mean I tend to refer to myself in neutral terms anyways(ex: I'll tell someone I'll grow up to be an old, cat person; it even feels a bit awkward to hear a binary term in place of that). I've even had an occasional person ask why I do that, but I keep the reason to myself currently.

I think the reason I like 'they' is just that...it's neutral, and it obviously fits my identity better that way(being neither male or female). I may generally be content with it, but I have my moments where I kinda loathe my body(in this case I mean being contained in a binary-related body), so it kinda would help with that.

 

I feel very similarly (except, well, the exact opposite). I ID as transmasculine, which for me means male but not 100%. I would say I'm fluid between male and androgyne, but I'd rather be seen and treated as male (maybe a somewhat androgynous male, but still male) than anything else. So, I'm technically nonbinary but often group myself with trans men more than nonbinary people because I would rather be seen and treated as male.

---------- Post added 12th Mar 2015 at 10:35 PM ----------

If you feel comfortable identifying as a transguy, then do it. You sound like you would fit the definitely of a demiboy, but that doesn't mean you have to use that label.