How bad is cheating in a committed relationship?

You're absolutely and completely right.

 

Also in regards to open relationships, I think people forget cheating can happen there too. Open relationship and poly = Okay. Cheating = Not.

Cheating is breaking the rules in a relationship, so it can still happen in poly type relationships too. What I'm really against is the broken trust, not necessarily multiple partners with consent.

 

I have never cheated and it is a deal breaker for me. I vote very bad.

 

Hi,

In a relationship I feel that if one or the other person wants to look outside the relationship for stuff then they should be open about it with their partner.

 

Very bad. Erodes trust & intimacy. Plus it brings the risk of STDs into the relationship.

 

Cheating is never, ever okay in a relationship. It's a horrible betrayal of trust and means you were too cowardly or arrogant to end the relationship before going after someone else. I would never take back a partner who had cheated.

When it comes to after the relationship ends, I feel like it's possible to forgive the person while not interacting with them anymore. Also, I think situationally it's okay to date someone who has cheated on others in the past. For example, I have a friend who was younger and dumb when he cheated on the girlfriend he had lost interest in. He felt horrible and still does and pretty much everyone knows he won't do it again, including his current girlfriend.

Tl;dr
Cheating in a relationship is never okay and cheaters shouldn't be taken back by their SO's, but it's okay to forgive them after the fact.

 

I think it's very bad, but for me it's not really about the sex, it's the lying. I've been with my partner for 18 years and if he came home tomorrow and said basically "oh my G*d, I don't know what happened, I met this guy and the chemistry was overpowering, and oh my G*d what have I done?" I think we could get past it. If I found out on my own 6 months later, well it would be a lot harder.

 

Yes yes and yes. My grandmother whom I love dearly, had an affair with another married person before I was born. My grandpa never ever recovered. He's now a hermit in his house alone at 92 years old, struggling with depression and isolation.

 

There are two things you should never forgive your partner for:
1) Cheating
2) Domestic violence against you
I tell myself that if I have a boyfriend who does these things, I would break up immediately. Although I'm sure in practice it would be a lot harder than most people imagine. People are known to stay with cheating/abusive boyfriends and girlfriends all the time.

 

It's beyond bad. It's just terrible. Being in a relationship should be honoured. Even if the relationship is going nowhere or is dysfunctional, you still shouldn't cheat. At least, break it off with them first.

 

If you are in a committed relationship but fall in love with someone else, I think the best thing to do would be to explain this to your partner and end your relationship. While I'm sure that's still awful for them to have to hear, it's better than cheating on them behind their back for an indefinite amount of time

 

Not a cheater, but I chose Mostly Bad.

Why did I choose this option? I feel that in an otherwise solid relationship of long standing(20 or more years), someone cheats and it's a one time fling, that is immediately realized to be a mistake, and there have been no other abusive or red flags in it.....I believe this can be a wake up call for the couple to get their butts into therapy and work on the relationship that obviously has a problem. Not talking about serial cheaters, or those who even cheated in a past relationship, but a good person who was really stupid. If both people are willing to work on the relationship and rebuild trust, I honestly believe that the relationship can be saved and trust can become stronger than before. Sure, it's a lot of work, and it's a one time deal, but I would not throw out a 20 year long relationship over a one time mistake without taking a lot of things into account. Do we have children? Have we had issues like this before? Have I ever had a reason to question their faithfulness before? Would I have them live with me? Hell no. Would I just take them back? Again, no. If I knew them to be a good person who made a lousy decision and it's the only beef I have had with them, it MAY be worth saving. I have known couples who one has cheated, and it acts as a catapult for what is wrong in the relationship, and they come through the fire stronger and better than before.


Sometimes people make very bad decisions and they are human. I have found that out in my 46 years on this Earth.

 

If I was ever cheated on, the relationship would end. I don't believe in second chances.

 

I don't see why it's "not at all bad." It's complicated to say actually, because the context varies. But, in nearly all cases I like to think, cheating is very bad. As if it isn't obvious enough, cheating is clearly a sign that the cheater shows no interest in an intimate relationship. Trust is a fundamental - if not the most fundamental - concept in any intimate relationship between two or more parties. I also believe that humans are not naturally monogamous anyway. And that we are, for the most part, very sexual creatures. Perhaps my perspective borders on the cynical side, but it really appears this way. People often neglect the gift of chances, so the relationship becomes ineffectual and therefore it becomes necessary to end.

 

I'd say it is "HOW DARE YOU?" bad. terrible, really....

 

My current boyfriend cheated on me after a week. Im still with him because it was only a week in and he genuinely was sorry.

The one reason i stuck by him was because he made me happy, so i risked the chance of a repeat against the happiness when were together.

 

Its extremely bad.