Pretending to be someone else online

I don't think lieing just to fit a stereotype is the best solution though. If they really can't believe you. Try to find someone who can. You will.

 

I would use different genders and names in chat rooms just to see how they stuck. They helped me figure out my gender, or lack thereof.

 

Why would you lie though? There's no sense in lying. If they're not taking you seriously, then find someone else to talk to.

 

That mindset is going to be a major problem for you, if it isn't already.

While what you say about feminine women not being taken "sexually serious", has an unfortunate truth, the only time I could see lying acceptable about this, is if your safety is at stake. Otherwise, you can do something else other than lie. You can avoid the topic, you can politely decline to discuss it, or you can say you aren't looking for a boyfriend (which is technically true, you aren't looking for one -- you're looking for a woman).

To put this simply. If you have some soul searching and exploring to do, fine, do that. But if you aren't, then start to work on embracing who you are...

Because if you don't find yourself, how can you expect anybody else to?​

 

You shouldn't hate yourself for questioning. That's part of life. You can be frustrated or stressed about it, maybe, but hatred is a little excessive.

In a way, you are sure of your sexuality. You just stated you were questioning. You're sure of not being sure, as silly as that sounds. If you don't want to be with somebody, don't. Pursue who you want to pursue, and like who you want to like. Male, female, somebody, nobody. Whoever. If anybody gives you a hard time about it, though it may be difficult, let them go. They aren't going to do you any favors by being pricks. Anybody who does not take you seriously, is lacking in respect, and that is a trait you should strive for, not only to be, but to receive -- friend, lover, even family.

Anybody can be self-assured. You can too, and it is how you request not being "treated like a girl". To put it simply, when you mimic these traits, you should at least use them to situate yourself and your life. If you don't, you're only going to keep repeating this circle of doubt-mimic-doubt-mimic-doubt, until you either get frustrated or depressed.

I'm not going to say a lie can't be justified, but in this case, I don't believe it is. One of the hardest and most exhausting things to do in life, is to constantly keep a mask on, to hide who you really are. One of the most painful experiences in life is to have somebody fall for the mask, but not feel a thing for the wearer. But I suspect you know this, to a degree, already.

How would you feel if somebody you were talking to, wasn't who they claimed to be, while you were talking to them, months down the road? Immediately there would be a lack of trust. Even if it is something like a picture, it is false advertising. Now the name, that's basic Internet etiquette, but go with an alias not an identity. Again, you want to be yourself, and that doesn't mean you can't be self-assured still.

To put this simply:

Be who you are. If people don't respect you, pay them no heed. They aren't worth getting upset or pissed over, because it makes no sense to want to be in good graces, with somebody who brings you down. As difficult as it can be, make some sort of attempt to connect with somebody, who will trust and support you, so that you can live life a little bit more loved, and a little bit easier.

 

For better or for worse, 'pretending' to be someone else online was part of what got me where I am today. Very often I would go online telling people I was a girl. It started toward the end of middle school and picked up throughout high school and persisted into college. All I did was present a gender different from my birth sex; my identity otherwise was the same. For the longest time I never questioned why I did it, or why I liked it. When I finally did question that activity of mine, it was in the context of trying to understand my personal "gender identity" better. I honestly felt thankful that I had the opportunity to realize some qualities I liked about myself through my online presence, namely, that I like being perceived by others as a girl rather than a boy.

So I personally have to encourage a bit of experimenting with your identity online, sometimes it can be a freeing experience—what it comes down to, I think, is getting a good read on what it feels like more, does it feel like putting on the mask, or feel like taking it off?

Unfortunately, the more details you falsify about yourself in an online interaction, the further removed you may be from the reality of your daily interactions. So I would say to remain true to your interests and behaviors and personality, fundamentally. If you eschew those to make yourself more palpable for someone else, then there's NO way they're getting the "real you."

 

When you do this, you give power to a mask, not to the real you. The stuff you are hidding, your real self, gets weaker with each and every lie. And if it doesn't, it gets pissed off, which is worse.

You might even get too used to lies to remember the truth about yourself anymore.

It's a sad state, being ashamed of who you are and hidding yourself. It's also unhealthy.

I'm not exagerating, it starts with little stuff, you know.

 

I understand what are you getting at, but you are using other mask as a substitute, so the root of the problem remains untouched, and the risk of losing yourself while keeping the charade is still there.

Some people tend to underestimate females just for being females, even when they are not expressing any feminity. In my experience, it's mostly your average fool. There is lots of them, and they are reproducing fast, 'cause they are way too much into relationships and to fit in.

You don't need to change to fit in there, 'cause you don't need to be on that place anyways. Just avoid the company of fools. And if people act foolish with you, correct them, give them the chance to learn... That is... IF you think the individual in question is worth it...

It might be lonely from now on... Try to explore new places when looking for good company. If you seem to be always meeting a fool, there must be something wrong with that enviroment/web, don't you think?

 

I became someone who has little or no restraints online, because I've been tired of keeping my thoughts locked up.

Someone I know in RL checked my twitter and told me I seemed a different person there.