Hi! I am thinking about whether to meet an old friend or not. She contacted me on fb that she will come to my town this spring and that it wld be nice to meet up. The problem is, it´s been many years since I met her and last time I spoke to her when I mentioned that I was confused whether to "be with" a guy or a woman she sounded very surprised and not so supportive. She was convinsed that I just had met the wrong kind of men and that was the issue. On top of everything I felt a bit attracted to her when we used to hang out, and I was always afraid that she wld see that in my eyes! I don´t know whether to meet her or not when she comes to my town. And it will also be a lot talking about kids and family, since she has that now. And I don´t like the question why I don´t have kids. I guess I have the answer within, that it´s not such a good idea to see her...
If you really want to meet up, just make a flying visit. Drop in for coffee for half an hour and say you have somewhere to be to get out fast. Otherwise, just say you're too busy at the moment to meet up and let it pass by.
danball7 summarizes very well what I had to say. Just meet her for a while, if things don't work out just invent some excuse and get out of there as soon as possible
People change. Sometimes they change for the better, sometimes they get worse. Maybe she wants to see you so that she can come out to you. Maybe she has become some horrible hateful homophobic person. But I doubt that, because she no doubt remembers your sexual questioning, and if she were really all that homophobic she would opt to take the easier path, of just avoiding you. But I agree with making the first meeting low pressure, like meeting up for coffee, or for lunch. An old friend of mine told me that he almost didn't respond to my facebook request because he had made a subtle pass at me in high school, and was afraid that I was going to harass him about it. on a friends advice, he responded, and that's when he found out that I just wanted to come out to him. it was very healing for both of us. Let go of fear! (!)
