Am I bad person for not wanting to date a guy with a STD?

I wouldn't do anything intimate that could put me at risk, but I wouldn't deny a friendship 'cause they are sick. I don't care it's a STD, AIDS, or the flu.

Dating seriously... Probably not until they are healthy. And even after that I would really make sure this person is not living a risky lifestyle (not taking precautions, heavy drinking / use of drugs, etc) before I get any intimate... Of course using condoms.

 

No, not at all. You just want to be safe. You just want to stay healthy. Nothing bad about that!

 

Have you read any of the scientific literature on seroconversation rates?

I would encourage you to review the notion of a zero-risk bias. I think you're also committing the mistake of assessing this risk just because you know the risk exists. As opposed to a healthier approach, which is to value just as cautiously risks that you don't know about.

I've always been puzzled by the fact that people will date of have hookups with people and practice safer sex techniques, but they have no actual faith in those techniques when they know their partner has an STI.

~ Adrienne

 

No. You can date whoever you want for whatever reason you want.

As for myself - it probably wouldn't bother me. I'm really not afraid of gonorrhea or herpes. I'd date someone with HIV as well - we would use condoms regardless of their status so it wouldn't be a problem for me.

 

If this is something you're uncomfortable someone with an STD, how much good will you be as a sex partner. You're not a bad person. You've rejected sexual intimacy; not the person themselves.

 

Many STDs can be treated and cured. Otherwise, managed and prevented from being transmitted with the right precautions which your physician could go over.

 

Not a bad person...but possibly a bit unrealistic.

Firstly, no matter how careful a guy is, STIs are a fact of life.

Secondly, the only ways you'll generally know that someone has an STI is if you contract it from them, or if they are honest and tell you about it ( assuming they actually know they have an STI).

Would you rather date someone who was honest, or who concealed the truth? Personally, I feel it's safest to work on the assumption that everyone has some form of STI, it may be depressing, but it helps manage my expectations.

 

wow idk..depends what they had and who they were..if they had aids then probly not cuz i dont think i can live with not having sex or cheap sex anyway not hot and heavy sex..but i think the other part would be having to deal with the fact that they may die before me..thatd be hard to deal with..but if i already knew the person and had.feelings for them before.they told me i dont think thered be anything i could do at that point..my heart would be sunk into them..if i cared alot.id probly do it and take care of.them till they passed..but thats just me..but before i gave my heart away and i could choose then hell fuk no..

 

There's nothing wrong not wanting to date someone due to the fact they have a STI/STD.

Personally for me it would depend how they got it. If it's from careless sex where they could have prevented it then it just shows how much they care about themselves. And if it was something they couldn't prevent, like got taken advantage of and so forth, then I would consider dating them, and having sex with, with the proper protection and all. But that's just me.

 

How strange. It's common enough to catch a STD - most of us who have more than one sexual partner in our lives will catch HPV at least. Do you think it's all just transferred through seedy anonymous sexual contact in nightclub toilets? What about someone who catches an STD through unprotected sex with a long term partner? Is that careless behaviour?

 

No. Careless behavior for me would be someone who's whoring themselves around for either money, drugs or whatnot, and they don't really take any precautions to protect themselves from any disease the other may have or themselves give to the other person.

 

I don't think so.....does it make a person bad if they refuse to date someone religious. I believe if you truly love someone you will overlook all the negatives. Good luck friend *hugs*

 

Ok. But you understand that there is a large open space between 'whoring yourself for drugs and money' and being sexually assaulted? Is the latter the only way to catch an STD and still be date-able for you? I'm not having a go, that was just the impression your first post suggested. There are plenty of people who commit to and trust their partners, have unprotected sex and catch an STD cause one of them wasn't aware of their status or lied/didn't tell the other. That doesn't make them careless or that they have no respect for themselves.

 

I do understand there is a "large open space" between them. Being taken advantage of was an example. Catching a STD/STI by a long term partner due to not knowing or being lied to would fall under the category of something they couldn't prevent. No, it doesn't make them careless. Then this is when I would consider dating them, since it's very different from having sex with any joe or jane from down the road and then catching a STD/STI due to not caring about their health.

 

I think that, ultimately, it is an individual's choice as to whether or not he would like to date someone with an STD. I don't think anyone should fault anyone else for his or her personal preferences regarding dating, sex, or relationships.

 

No, not really! IMO I would date a person with a STD if I really fancied then but I would never have sex with them even if they took precautions.

So I think you handled it as well as you could in that situation.

 

Date: yes.
Have sex with: no.

 

I wouldn't have a problem but it's up to you

 

You're not a bad person for that. I think that you're just afraid of a possible transmission which is perfectly understandable.