How do you feel about internet/online friendships?

I consider many of my online friends real life friends. I've known them for years, most over 5 years, one around 8 year. The only con I can think of is that if there is a misunderstanding/fight they can just disappear and you'll never be able to correct what happened nor know what became of them.

The best friend I ever had was a online friend, he passed away suddenly awhile back. It hurt just as much if not more than when some relatives have passed. I say this to convey how real of a friendship it was.

I talk with these friends with voice chat as well as through text, that maybe what helps develop them into such close friendships. I made it sound as if I have tons of them, it really is just a few. I've met them all through games, never through forums or other social media.

 

i tried the online dating thing before but idk..its just not for me i guess..i felt like people judged me based on my pictures..and my pictures didnt give a good representation of who i am..its my personality that i want sumone to like me for..as far as online friends well i dont have any except for here really..im addicted to this site and ive never been an online kindof person..im always on here reading different threads i guess cuz im board and u guys are all i have..especially now that im trying to be sober..thats actualy why i found this place..i wanted to make a change and find sum gay people to talk to that understood how i felt..unfortunatly there havent.been many with the same problems as me but i still enjoi reading others problems and giving my input even if it is shitty lol..but idk i guess i might be open to meeting people i meet online if they shared similar interests and i knew that it was a lagit friendship but actually talking to them and stuff..

 

It's a lot better, that's for sure. I spend a lot of my time on the internet anyway, so it's a win-win. Plus, the people in my city are a bunch of crab apples. There's always something that they don't like about you or anyone else and they magnify the problem as if it's this huge deal. I would much rather talk to people online, where their thoughts and opinions are more open and we can share a good conversation without offending each other in the slightest.

 

I think friendships that started online can become really interesting. For starters, you usually meet them in particular places, which means you two might have something in common. There is greater chances to find someone you connect with than in real life, where you are driven at the beginning by how they look/present or how they react to you on a very crude, primitive level -non verbal language mostly, until you get to know them better.

I think it's way better to have the chance to chat first about stuff, before seeing each other. At the end it's about brains, not other stuff... Or it can be about it, but it won't last very long and probably you wouldn't call those folks your friends.

 

:lol: Hell yes! I second that!

 

I have a very close, global group of internet friends interested in politics. I count then as real friends, certainly.

 

I suppose it depends on how or where you meet somebody online.

On a forum like this, sure, you're bound to already have something in common. This makes it easier to start talking, unlike offline, where unless somebody tells you directly, or you find out something, you have to wing it.

Encountering somebody online also has the advantage of, being able to get an impression of them -- from how they present, and less so about their appearance and voice, at least in the beginning. I find this is not only more fair, it removes some form of preconceived biases that one may have, and are hard to avoid in person.

However, while this can be a perk, it can also be a disadvantage. You might be setting yourself up for how you perceive somebody, as opposed to how that somebody actually is. I've noticed, unless a direct reason is given, most folks will idealize somebody that they like, be it based on friendship or more. There's several reasons why this is, but this isn't exactly the place to dive into that. Still, I felt it significant enough to mention.

Most -- not all -- folks online, tend to be misfits in their own right. There's something endearing, even romantic, about a rag tag bunch finding one another and, in their own way, forming their own bond-bound community. You see countless movies and read countless books about this, and this stems from the comfort one receives in 'finding somebody alike'.

Of course, there are those who believe online relationships are inferior to offline ones. That just because you don't have actual physical contact, it means less. I suppose this is true to a degree, but it isn't right.

For one, there is still a person behind the keyboard/pad. With thoughts, feelings, and desires. Just because they can't be within your immediate radius, doesn't mean they should be perceived as anything less. To even think like that is akin to a form of elitism, possibly even a form of narcissism, provided the individual isn't being a troll or just flat out rude to you.

It's also worth mentioning that online, especially in forum communities, you will have individuals who feel deprived of their self-believed treatment. Individuals who despise others for "competing" with them, for the desired role they seek for themselves. This is possible offline, yes, but online, where you have a few barriers, like a computer screen, access to the Internet, and fancy little colors and forum codes, this is more likely. Because, sadly, many individuals utilize online communities to be who they want to be, and not who they actually are; which ranges from slight exaggeration to total contradiction.

All that said, I once was part of a thriving online community, years ago, back when Yahoo! Chat still had User Rooms. Most of them were online role-players (and some happened to be hackers, too), and we bonded over that. For a few years, we became closer until Yahoo! removed the User Rooms, and despite having contact information, we all drifted apart. A few years ago, a reunion of sorts was had, but it was short lived. However, the memories and experiences were enjoyable. Much of my writing style stems from those online role-playing communities, actually.

So, I do believe a genuine friendship can be formed online, provided all involved parties want to. How strong that friendship becomes, well, that depends on a combination of willingly shared information, time, and the efforts made, on behalf of all parties involved. Some folks have limits, for whatever reason, and that's fine. Some are totally open and willing to befriend somebody, no matter where or how.

Personally, I fall more towards the open and willing to befriend, though with some reservations. However, it's fairly easy to see who wants to be your friend, and who doesn't. The ones you have to watch out for, usually only on forums, are the ones who feel intimidated or threatened, because you steal their e-spotlight.

And yes, that kind of petty stuff does happen. Again, it's still people behind the keyboards/pads.

 

It's a little weird for various reasons including I can't read their body language. I have to remind myself to be more cautious. I've met some people off the internet and not all were pleasant. Nonetheless, online friendships can be as legit as offline friendships. Hell, offline friendships can be fake.

I was recently watching a TV show about catfishing. Basically some people in online relationships physically met and broke up because lies were exposed. For example, it turned out that one woman actually did have some tragedy in her life and she fabricated almost her entire life story to boost her self-esteem. It was kind of weird because many people probably would've still liked her if she told the truth.

 

I think what some people also forget is that even in real life, you get fakers, liars, and users. It's not how you make the friendship, It's the person you befriend. Hell, some people are downright pros at faking their body language to the point to make their lies believable (sociopaths), so real life friendships aren't any safer than online ones. There are also some people, like autistic people who cannot read body language very well, so IRL relationships form the same kind of danger and threat to them.

Think about it, you could fall in love with a person you met at school and it could turn out the whole relationship they lied to you, slept with 100+ other people behind your back, and possibly could even kill you. But because they were so charming and good at faking their body language, you never would have known. Meanwhile some people online will be the most genuine people you have ever met and people you could spend your entire life with.

Some online friendships never last....but neither do real life ones. My IRL friendships never lasted. Some of my online ones did. We shouldn't refuse to do something based on that or else all friendships and relationships would be meaningless. And you never know; some online friendships turn into IRL ones eventually.

 

So far, I've had sort of mixed good/bad experiences with online friendships.

Some of my closest friends are people I've never met in person, who I've known for years. A few are in countries that I have no chance of visiting any time soon, if ever, and a few are just a state or two away. I think I'm going to be friends with these people for a long time, and they've been extremely supportive of me coming out.

But I've also been "burned" by online friendships. I had one who I thought we were on pretty good terms with, but she turned out to be extremely, emotionally abusive. There were warning signs, but I wanted to see the best in her, and one day I just couldn't stomach it when I saw her being abusive to a teen and told her she had gone too far. She turned on me pretty viciously, and that was the end of that friendship.

The internet grants anonymity, which means that certain risks are greater than meeting someone in real life, but then, there are certain things inherently dangerous about meeting someone in real life, too. Basically, the internet is a tool that anyone can use, and sometimes you get dangerous people using it. You never really know, unless you actually meet that person, whether they're being honest with you or not, so you do have to be extra cautious and take some things on faith.

 

Absolutely!

 

I love my online friends. They're the only ones I'm out to

 

I've met some of the very best people in my life online, including some on this site. It's a little bit different at times, but no less valuable, at least to me.