Why can't I just fully change already?

Im really sorry that youre having such a tough time, and I know exactly how you feel. It can be extremly tough when the people you love dont call you by the correct pronouns. Do you have any close friends you could ask to use male pronouns for you? Is there any specific reason your mum would be angry if she realised you were her son? What about your sister? Just having one or two people who call you by the right pronouns, can make a huge difference.

Im not sure if Im allowed to link this, but I really think itll help, so here goes:
My Period and Me: A Trans Guy's Guide to Menstruation
(Have mercy mods!)

And I wouldnt assume no boys will like you if you have a period. As it says in the article, birth controll pills can help suppress and stop periods in men. And even if you cant get those, or dont want to take them, most guys would be fine with your period. You still have all the equiptment that a lot of guys who are gay want, and relationships should be about romantic and emotional connections, not about whats in your pants. You ARE a guy, and most guys who are gay will realise and be perfectly ok with that. And if they dont? They probably wouldnt have been that good in a relationship too.

And yes. You CAN be a boy. You are a boy.

 

(*hug*)

It's hard for moms. She probably thinks (because you are young) that 'it's a phase' or that you are having troubles accepting being female. I have never heard of a single girl who did fully accept herself when she was growing up, so it's normal your mom thinks it's what is happening to you.
And... Boys have a hard time when they grow up too. They face a lot of uncomfortable situations. They also have to deal with their own stuff, even if it seems better, it's not always the case for everyone.

You can tell openly, calmly, your mother how she makes you feel when she behaves like she does. This doesn't mean you'll make her change her ways, but at least you've told her, you've done your part. Other than that, don't listen too much to her be proud of being... . She means it well, but she is lost and she is more than likely to remain lost for a long time.

Don't let her bring you down, or make you feel bad, just stop thinking she knows everything, 'cause she doesn't : Moms are human too, they make lots of mistakes about her little babies.

(By the way, you'll always remain her little baby for her... Even when you are 50 years old. Get used to it : It'll never change.)

By the way, welcome back!

 

Tell her straight out you feel like a male and you refuse to be treated as a girl. That's what I did, worked for me.

As for periods, it will stop if you go on T

 

Being genderfluid and I've known I was actually a guy since forever, but my parents dressed me up in cheerleader outfits and I have a pink room with pink accessories, etc. Friends at school dont understand the sentence, "You're showing off your girlyness today -insert 'goofy' smile here-" makes me want to kick them in their soft spots. Being trans* is hard, as you are changing more what you look like then if you are for say gay. You can't 'look' gay. (Not saying anyone else in lgbt+ doesnt have it just as hard or harder.) It's just a lot of getting used to, and being only one year older than you, probably not much more advice from me. My parents are homophobic and think trans* people are nutcases and need to be killed etc. Sad on their parts. I get the same dysphoria on my period, reminds me im a girl, but you know what you actually are. In the end, I'm positive you'll find a guy that will love you. Pansexual men exist, you'll find some. Maybe join your GSA at your school next year. You might find one there.

 

You could have a look here:
http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/168164-just-need-some-simple-advice.html#6

Its a lot of information... I'd say take your time...
its your decision hat you say, to whom, and when... just take the time you need...

if you want to talk to someone in person, you could call here:
Trans Lifeline - (877) 565-8860 - Transgender Hotline
GLBT National Help Center
there are people there who might give you hints, and support...
(if you have a mobile using that might be better)

Some Dads might be a bit more accepting, because they might kind of win someone they can talk to and do things with concerning manly stuff. You might tell you're more interested in that.

You might say you don't like this girly stuff, its just not who you are. There is no use in trying, and its not their fault.
(In the link its the other way around because its for mtf...)

Just take the time you need...

This is not true... people like you for who you are as personality

hugs (*hug*)

 

You could go the route as described...
you might say you want some counseling because of emotional issues...
you could pick someone who has, amongst others, gender on their list...
its cnfidential what you talk there, they could help you through the process and with talking to relatives.
if its connected with depression its possible fees are covered.

You describe a lot of emotion.
If you stay calm and insist on your point, that might see you through.
I'd say just keep on.
There are many examples of successful transitions, where people pass very well, and nobody notices.


hugs

 

You should give a try to the Trans Lifeline that Jay mentioned. You could give them a call, and then erase the number from your mobile phone, so you can keep your privacy. Use a good chance, like at school, you could go to the restroom, or some place you know you'll be alone for a few minutes.

If I were you I'd try to keep my privacy at any price. She seems very controlling, that's not ok. You have the right to have an appointment with a counselor or a doctor and being alone with them. Be very clear about it, tell her and him that you need privacy, it's your right.

 

Look... this is absolutely not usual.

You can find ways to talk to a couselor alone.
As you describe it you have depressions.
You could call the counselor or email them and explain you want to talk to them in private, and ask their help in this. You could simply explain it all to them. I would presume it would be a relief if you would do this. They can explain to your mom that there are some feelings that are better expressed without a parent present.
And you can tell your mom that you want to talk to them alone.
Since you are depressed, you should definitely see someone.

Another possibility would be a counselors at school, you can talk to them without anyone knowing.


Above is a link, where a brochure from the british national health service is shown.
Its a source not easily disputed.
You might think about showing to anyone you think where it would help.

hugs