Hi! I've been struggling with gender and gender identity for a long time now, but finally begin to settle quite a lot. I do identify as a (quite feminine) guy, but my dysphoria is not so very severe and for various reasons i have decided not to transition and to try to accept that people perceive me as a woman, i hope and think it will work. I'm also not so comfortable being seen as a woman in mens clothing, so I try mixing gender expressions so that I am perceived as a good looking female and still am comfortable in my clothes. Still not sure exactly how to do it, but I am rather comfortable also in quite feminime clothing. But, the thing is, I don't really identify as female so calling me bigender or so feels kinda wrong, but is it possible to identify as transguy and still be quite comfortable with a female gender expression? Or am I rather bigender/agender/androgynous/etc ?
If you identify as male, then you are male. It does not matter if you transition or not. There will be some people that do not get why you do not want to transition, but that is their problem and not yours.
Raatox, please don't get me wrong, but honestly... You are a mistery to me You let others perceive you as a female, you better be damned sure you can stand it / cope with it. From what I remember about you (and correct me if I'm wrong) it didn't went very well the last time. Feel free to hit me anytime you want to chat.
Vodkabaret: heh, Yeah, you are right, and I'm not sure at all it will work out this time either, but I have a bit different mindset this time, and I have felt pretty good the last month, since I concluded I do not want to go on testosteron. Thing is, I feel better when expressing myself without worrying about to be percieved as a guy, than trying to pass meaning I have to bind, don't wear anything that could be percieved as female, go on T, surgeries, etc. And I feel so much worse when I expect people to see me as a guy and they dont, than if I expect them to see me as a female.
Why not trying this step by step ? There are a lot of women nowadays with butch expressions. You could simply go more and more in that direction. It could bring you joy, and you could do this gradually. Not expecting to be read as male right from the beginning. It could be fun, improving your expressions more and more. You could additionally talk this all through with a therapist, helping you through this all, maybe giving some tools to improve on confidence and help sorting things out.
Jay777: Been there, done that But, seriousely, thank you for your advises! That is practically what I have been doing the last year and I have ended up concluding I am more comfortable with a slightly more feminime gender expression. At least right now. I'm just a bit confused about what I "am". Identifying as a transguy explains sooo much about me and all I have experienced, but I'm not completely sure that it is the right term, since I actually do feel quite okey in my body and with a female gender expression. It's like; I would rather have a male body, but I think I can stand having a female too. I'm sorry if my posts are been a bit confusing, I'm trying to sort out my thoughts and feelings and they are a bit complicated.
At the end it is you who decides what to do, and if you feel comfortable with it. Just being honest to your true self... Being authentic. Feelings about gender can be (and usually are) extremely complicated. They are made of 1001 pieces, and some of them seem to be hidden somewhere, out of reach. To look for them is also to look for yourself, that person you'll be spending the rest of your life with, so the quest is worth it Whatever you do, don't be afraid of expressing yourself, and I don't mean clothes here, but your being, your personality and way of dealing with stuff. Be prepared to raise a few eyebrows... Or not. Don't let this to stop you to do whatever you want, or be whatever you are. There is some nice, interesting misteries out there (*hug*)
It seems you would prefer a male body... well you have new facts now.. so you could look for support, for example from a therapist... they could help you going in a new direction, another one than you have been going in before... and you don't have to rush it... they could help with confidence, with finding a balance between your legitimate needs and others needs... imo it would be a good solution... hugs
