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More and more .. like a girl, but still scared ...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ThatOnePerson, Feb 2, 2015.

  1. ThatOnePerson

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    Hi, everyone! <3

    I know I've posted here before .. And a lot of you know my situation .. sort of ..

    Lately I've been feeling more like I'm in girl-mode than boy-mode. That's not to say that I don't like being in boy-mode, because it DOES come in handy sometimes .. (especially when it comes to the bathroom situation-- no offense, girls!) ..

    I wasn't sure of my gender identity only a few months ago, but I'm getting more convinced that I fit more in the female spectrum. Is this a common occurrence?

    I'm visually impaired, and I have a session with my counselor on Tuesday morning. I want to tell her, but I'm still REALLY scared of coming out to her. I mean, I've come out to a few friends-- including my roomie .. who was bound to know sooner or later ..

    Is this the right step? There are a lot of other factors for my indecision to come out to everyone (including my parents ... OMGSCARY.), but this is the main one for now ..

    Thanks, everyone! <3

    ---------- Post added 2nd Feb 2015 at 02:18 AM ----------

    Rather, I wasn't sure of my gender identity until a few months ago .. whether it's gender-fluid, androgynous, cross-playing, etc ..

    Just wanted to make that correction! ^_^;;
     
  2. jay777

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    Your therapist will keep this confidential.
    I'd say its definetly the right step, because it leads to more openness, so you can better discuss and understand what really moves you.

    You can keep us posted on your progress.


    If you feel at a later point you might need someone more knowledgable on trans issues, you might contemplate that, like a specialised gender therapist.


    And congratulations on coming out to your roomie :slight_smile:.
     
  3. kai397

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    take all the time you want its your life not anyone elses
     
  4. ThatOnePerson

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    Thanks for the responses!

    A little update: I ALMOST came out to my counselor today, but I forogot she had something else to do in the morning other than our regularly scheduled visit. I mentioned it as something that I'm not quite comfortable telling just yet-- so I planted the seed, at least.

    Something interesting, though .. When we were in meditation cklass today-- when our instructor asked us to envision ourselves in a peaceful place-- like a meadow, or something. I saw myself in girl-mode. This has happened more frequently-- especially during my meditation sessions at home.

    Unfortunately, I'm going to have to wait another month before I can actually go out and buy clothes for girl-mode. I have a few things-- but I still look more masculine. It's a little frustrating, but at least I have SOME girl-mode things. Undergarments .. that'll be a whole other issue. ^_^;; Any ... ideas on what I should do regarding that?
     
  5. jay777

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  6. ThatOnePerson

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    So, which would be easier? Getting a padded bra, or stuffing a sports bra? I'm not exactly in the market for brest forms, yet, but I can live with padding or stuffing for now. The main thing is having them look decent and natural underneath what I'm wearing. n_n;;

    My parents are visiting town for the weekend, so I won't be able to look into buying anything just yet.
     
  7. jay777

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  8. ThatOnePerson

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    I saw the video, and I really like a lot of tips she gave. Though, I'm not so sure about the make-up part. Is applying make-up more intuitive, or should I have a friend help me with that? So far, a lot of my female friends haven't really had time to take me out and teach me about anything, so I've had no choice but to do some research on my own.

    I'm very fond of the idea of wearing make-up, but I want to stray away from wearing mascara or eye-liner-- simply because I'm worried that it'll affect what vision I have left. Will that be a hindrance for me passing when I want to be in girl-mode? (Which seems to be more often, now-a-days.).
     
  9. jay777

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    No, your eyes aren't that necessary.
    You could leave them out .
    You could try some nourishing lotion on the skin, and some unobtrusive lipstick or chapstick.
    Just leave out the eyes with the lotion... and you might go with natural and soft products...
    If you look around, you will find that many women use only a part of makeup daily, they might leave out the eyes, for example. Going instead for listick and some powder on the cheeks.

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/151212-makeup-tips.html#4

    If you have reservations about products being irritating, you should ask before buying.


    And you could trim your eyebrows a bit.
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/133045-do-i-pass-thread-81.html#post2451288

    As for makeup applying, there are a lot of vids on youtube on that.


    hugs
     
  10. Seige

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    One thing, if youre looking to stuff, but dont want to drop 30$+ on a pair of nice insoles, Iknow how to make some decent "stuffing" thats dirt cheap.
    Basically you just cut the legs off a pair of pantyhose. (You need ones with a sock at the bottom.) get some rice, and put however much you want into the pantyhose. Tie it off tight, and you have something to give you form. Theyre not nearly as realistic feeling as insoles, but they fill out a bra nice, and dont get too hot. Just messege/post here if you have any questions hun. :slight_smile:

    Also, what pronouns would you like us to use? Id be more than happy to use she and her for you, if thats what youd like.
     
  11. ThatOnePerson

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    Thanks you so much for the advice, girls. <3

    I was actually planning on going to get my eyebrows waxed or something, but .. Maybe a hair saloon can shape them a little better? I like the ffact that in the "Do I Pass" thread, they suggest going from the bottom up (since my eyebrows are thick and kind of low to begin with.).

    I want to pass as best I could-- so I'll look into what sort of make up I can get-- powders, concealers, etc. I'll definitely look up some tutorial videos about how to apply them correctly. Hopefully it won't cost TOO much money.

    And I saw something about the pantyhose and rice thing. I'll have to find out a little more about it before I attempt it. Slow goings, first. ^_^;

    I do have my days where I feel more boy-ish, but I'd love to be refered to as a "she" or "her". <3 That makes me so happy! (*hug*)
     
  12. Seige

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    Of course! Feels so wonderfull, doesnt it?
     
  13. jay777

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    Some people recommend going to a stylist.
    You could ask them to give it a feminine look...
    feminine eyebrows are arched, and they are sometimes a bit higher, so trimming from below should be of advantage.
     
  14. ThatOnePerson

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    If I do go to a stylist and ask them to make my eyebrows more feminine, what do I do if they give me a strange look? I'd feel that I'd need to explain the situation-- but I know it's my right to let people know what's going on ..
     
  15. Seige

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    Well, you could either, ignore the look, tell them youre a girl, or maybe make up an excuse to as why youd want it more feminine. (Your partner wanted them cleaned up, and not as big, something of that sort.)
     
  16. jay777

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    Well you could say you have an unusual wish... and tell them you're transgender... working on your looks so you can transition better... imo the best possibility... if they react positively it would be a boost to your self confidence...
    or you might hint you need to represent a female persona... for undisclosed reasons...its up to you...

    maybe they could even give you some more hints, like with makeup, or hairstyle...
     
  17. ThatOnePerson

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    I'm pretty lucky I live win a place where people are pretty open minded-- so maybe I'm just being neurotic, or something.

    I've been getting really impatient lately, since my parents don't exactly know when they're leaving for home. I'm starting to feel anxious all the time constantly being in boy-mode. u_u;;

    Though, today was the exception, I guess. There was this fundraiser thing for Braille Institute and I received a Student Award. (I would have rather went in a dress-- but that would have been a little too awkward and shocking for everyone.).

    Thank you so much for the help, everyone! I'll keep you posted! ^_^