I never want to come out as bisexual...

Yes. I understand this feeling. I was out as gay for years before I actually decided that I am now bisexual. Only a few people know of it, and I don't feel like telling people because it will just confuse a lot of people. I fear a lot of people won't take me seriously. I've heard comments from both gay and straight people that call bisexuals greedy or confused. Or that it automatically means that bisexuals cheat. So I don't feel like going through all of that. I feel that some people will just not understand such a simple concept and that I won't be taken seriously.

 

Well Said!!

I myself am not 'out' yet. I only started to question my sexuality 6 months or so ago and I currently consider myself as bisexual however I am reluctant to come out as bisexual for fear of how some ignorant people may view it as mearly a phase. The truth is, I myself question whether it is just a phase. Don't get me wrong, not for one second do I question whether it's a phase for everyone but for some people it is.

 

I'm not out yet, but I'd expect people to say things like these. People tend to think in black and white, it's either-or. They don't see the fifty shades of gray between black and white. And they also tend to think that once something is established, it will last forever. In their opinion opinions and likes or dislikes can't change. Once someone is a certain way, they think he/she will be like that forever. I think it's just the fear of change, the fear of uncertainty.
Don't pay attention to their bullshit. What matters, is YOUR definition of your sexuality, not their arrogant opinions that are based on their limited imagination. They don't know what it's like to be in your shoes, so don't even expect them to understand.

 

Hey. I'm also in the same boat.

I've been hip-hopping across back and forth and giving myself GRIEF because I've been trying to pick a side and stick with it. (This post has given me so much CLARITY on my own situation so dank girl!!)

Reading this, and after years of trying to do this, I've realised; I'm not supposed to just "pick-a-side"

I like both.

It's just been so hard to accept because it's not widely accepted here, heck Irish people are having a hard enough time to understand the homosexuals :L And someone who likes both is just incomprehensible to them :L

And me too because of that. Jaysus.

 

Yes, I tell people! I don't care about what they think. The most important thing is that I am bisexual. I like to be with men and women, emotionally and sexually. What matters is me and the rest can think whatever they want!

99% of the world's population are ignorant. They judge things based on their own observations and emotions. MOST of the scientific research conducted on this issue state that bisexuality is REAL. Don't listen to them and be who you are. At the end, and based on the "selfish gene" inherited in us as humans, no one will care about your happiness, only you care.

Live your life as bisexual and be proud

 

Well people could be told its a real preference on a scale between straight and gay, and that there is something like a kinsey scale for further reference.

And people could be told that being faithful is unrelated to sexual orientation.

And well, maybe that people are different, and should not have the fear to have to compete with the other sex.
Everyone is unique and has their likeable sides.

 

i haven't hit this one yet in my coming out process, i will probably make a joke about it like looking down my shirt or up my sleeve and say, nope im still here and im real.
and if they're still a moron about it i either ignore them or make fun of them.

 

No matter what I read I have really internalized all the biphobia out there. I don't want to come out as bisexual, I don't want to be bisexual, I would rather keep pretending I'm straight than deal with my feelings about bisexuality and other people's prejudices about it.

I'm probably never going to really date a woman anyway, which also means maybe I am straight anyway, so I just don't want to deal with it.

I'm sorry to sound so negative and I don't mean to insult other bisexuals. I think it's great that some people feel positively about bisexuality. It's just that I can't get to that place in my mind, and I just wanted to give my honest answer to the question.

 

You could try to get to know a few women slowly, like visiting events with your next lgbt center... there might even be support groups...
you could have a look at this thread:
http://emptyclosets.com/forum/anonymous-discussions/166447-how-do-you-make-friends-adulthood.html#2
And you could try to imagine being together with women, if you like... that helps, too...

hugs

 

I have dealt with ignorant comments. But educating my friends about bisexuality did help. Just try to educate them. And if they still make stupid comments, just ignore them.

 

Thank you jay777. It's a little tough for me to get around because I don't have a car, but I know I shouldn't make excuses.

I'm just having a rough few days right now because I had a coffee date and I hoped maybe I'd make a friend that way but no such luck. I'm not upset over the specific woman because I didn't know her and she didn't owe me anything anyway! But I'm just dejected in general because it was one of the few chances I did have to meet someone and I think I just really bored them.

For some reason when I go to groups at the lgbt center I end up feeling like I'm straight and a fake and I should go home. I really need to get over that but I'm not sure how.

I do try to imagine being together with women and sometimes it's nice. I have an easier time picturing being with a woman sexually than romantically, but then again I can't seem to imagine being with a man romantically either these days. So it leaves me really confused.

Anyway thank you for the good advice.

 

I totally get what you're saying. Before I started to identify as Gay(even as a woman, the identifier gay feels comfortable to me) I identified as bi. I grew up with people telling me that I was "greedy" or "confused" and once a lesbian had told me to come back when I'd picked what side I was on. In my opinion we are in a wonderful time for bisexuals because they are finally getting the recognition they deserve. Most people are acknowledging it for the legitimate orientation that it is.

Up until last year I identified as Bi, and slowly I came to realized that I really only wanted to have relationships with women. They felt more natural and right in every sense of the word. However since I've only come to this realization for about a year now, and have declared that exclusiveness for the same amount of time, I often worry that what happens if there's a man that I like and he ignites some kind of feeling. What does that mean for me, and what does that say for the people who know me. Most days I feel like they are waiting to say this was just a phase.

I've decided though for the time being, cross that bridge when you come to it. A really good book to read is Married Women Who Love Women. It really puts things in perspective and helped me through that period of trying to figure myself out (which I'm still kind of in).

I hope this has helped somewhat.