Can how you view yourself in fantasies help indicate your gender identity?

Probably not for everyone. I don't know, but I can say in my fantasies I was always a man.

 

I think so, maybe. I don't know. I know where you're coming from. Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine I'm a guy and whoa.

But I don't even have any clue right now where I stand on the gender spectrum, so I guess I'm kinda in the same boat as you. Maybe there will be some more helpful answers

 

Yeah this is pretty much my response too.

 

I can't beleive how much I learn in this forum, it's really amazing

I'm always a male in my fantasies, I never questioned my gender identity but I thought about it as the only kind of sexual coupling I knew it exist, I'm with a woman in my fantasy so I should be the "Man". I know know it's silly and anyone can have sexual encounter with anyone, but I'm still picture myself as a male. I never thought why?

 

I've found most commonly in my fantasies I'm a highly androgynous figure—primarily feminine in appearance, but I've still got a penis. I can't envision myself properly with female genitalia. Even so, I consider myself a girl in my fantasies, just with different equipment.

I'd say it has a large impact on my gender identity. This is how I see myself.

 

This is a description that has helped some people:
http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/150966-androgyne-identity.html#14

And please remember, its a spectrum...
and you might be some kind of fluid...
I'd say enjoy and do things you are comfortable with...

@treatmeright
same here... there is a spectrum of lesbian identities, some feel they want to choose one, some don't...
there are people who call themselves feminine lesbians, chapstick etc...
many are versatile...

and its completely ok if you feel like a male sometimes... its all up to you...


I'd say fantasies help. They might help opening up to the thought. Like chosing male/female characters in games... or reading stories ...

hugs

 

Long story short; sometimes it does. And it definitely depends on the person.

It's natural for a guy to be curious about how it feels to be a girl and vice versa... although it's probably worth questioning if this is a constant thing for you.

I've considered myself agender most times in fantasies. Although it's likely because my focus is elsewhere. See what I mean about it depending on the person!

 

Interesting question...

I'd say at the very least, it can be a calling to look into something about yourself. Maybe your feelings or state of mind, especially if this is a constant occurrence. It could be related to gender identity, but it may just as well be repressed or unknown developing feelings.

I know, throughout the day, if I think of something involving myself, it shifts from how I actually look to how I feel I look. If it's a more serious predicament, then it's usually as-me, while more deeper or fantasizing thoughts are, usually, how I feel; if that makes any sense.

Men don't necessarily trigger anything for me, it's primarily women. A woman with a certain look or demeanor, even her posture and vibe, can really set me off with dysphoria or reflective thoughts. In those moments, I tend to see myself as both, while gradually becoming one or the other. For example, I may see an outfit and think, this could work for me, and I imagine the outfit with how I feel, while a more negative experience, seeing a woman just out and about, may have me initially feeling nice, but I revert back to how I actually look... if, again, that makes any sense.

So, in that context, yes, I believe it does help. However, it is possible, that the whole unknown factor, combined with it being sort of taboo to break femininity's confinement -- and what better way than to be a/recognized male? This sensation of new and excitement may also be contributing to how you're feeling. Some folks role-play roles to keep things fresh, others enter their own fantasy world while doing the deed, and, as has been touched upon, some may curiously wonder what it's like 'to be somebody else'.

You have to, basically, determine if these experiences "feel good" or "feel right". Once you know that, you can start working on the rest.

 

I tend to fantasize myself as both.:icon_redf usually Im male in my fantasies, mostly because imagining myself with a vagina, having sex is soo..... :icon_redf It seems too good and fun and hot and wonderfull to be true.

 

I agree with this. One of my friends was a gay man, and he told me he had been aroused by having what you could call "trans" sexual fantasies (him being a woman). His stuff came and went, and he told me he was fine with his gender, it was only a turn on for him, the reason being (I quote him) "you can't get more submissive than being a woman, you know, being f... as a woman"

Guess what... He was the kind of gay allergic to vaginas...

So it could be that what is arousing for you is the feeling of being in control... Or the idea of having a penis... Or a mix of everything and more... I don't think it has to be a confirmation for your gender, same as with dreams...

I never get aroused by thinking about women... I've tried lesbian porn, but didn't worked for me...
For a long time I didn't understood myself : Everytime I meet some beautiful young girl outside (or not so young...), and just by talking to her, by hearing her soft voice and admiring her beauty,etc... I get aroused, and I got lucky a few times, so I know I'm into women... Even if I never have fantasies with them, and believe me I've tried...

 

In all my dreams and day dreams, I'm a male at least 90% of the time.
So this makes sense, maybe it does have something to do with your true gender identity.

 

Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, especially in regards to sex.

Many cis people have a sexual fetish involving the idea of them being the opposite sex in the bedroom, but put their clothes back on and they are the gender they were assigned at birth and would be offended if you stated otherwise.

This is also why crossdressing is a thing, It's a fetish of being 'like a woman' and purely a sex thing. I actually know a few cis hetero couples where they have reverse gender fetishes (Girl gets aroused by having sex with him as if she were a guy, and he gets aroused by being her 'girlfriend', but that's where it ends).

 

I think it's different from person to person.

I tend to be male in dreams, and when I fantasize, I typically envision myself as male. I do in fact identify as predominantly male.

However, when I fantasize sexually, it's a toss-up. I can't envision partners, just generic "male/female" shapes with no features, not even hair color, faces, or even full bodies. Usually I don't bother trying any more - fantasizing about featureless, often gray humanoids is vaugely disturbing. I don't find one sex more arousing than the other, and I don't particularly find one arousing enough to stimulate me. In that respect, coming to terms with my gender identity was a breeze compared to the rough decade (eight or nine years) of confusion that was coming to terms with my sexuality.

 

Hi there,

I know that pre-transition I always had to visualize myself as female before I could be turned on. It was like a pre-requisite. All my sexual fantasies involved me first becoming a woman, and then the rest of the fantasy could occur.

Now, after nearly 3 years on hormones, I just have sexual fantasies. Like, I already have a mostly female body now so I don't need to get into that mindset first.

Studies have shown that (and I'm not googling so all information is just approximate and from my memory) there are similarities in the BSTC region of the brain between transgender people and thier identified gender, and with cisgender people of that gender. Basically, trans women had regions similar in size to cisgender women, and same from trans men and cisgender men.

If I remember right, this region of the brain has to do with sexual aggression. I think that it is entirely possible that how you view yourself in sexual fantasies could reflect this.

I think that if you constantly imagine yourself as a man having sex, then that is a major sign towards being trans. Just drawing from personal experience.

 

I totally relate to this!
I myself identify as genderqueer/agender but in my sex life, I identify as a guy. Alot of my fantasies and even in my dreams, I'm usually seen as an androgynous version of myself (penis/strapon included) and the experiences when being in that state of arousal as a male have led to better orgasms for me so yeah, you're not the only one OP.

 

Hey Dots,

You sound so much like me, its incredible. I just want to give you a big hug and tell you I hope everything will be okay.

I can't tell you how many times I've wondered this myself. I have the hardest time imagining myself as female in almost any situation... (especially sexually, especially picturing a lesbian sex...) even connecting with fictional lesbians, I try and I try, but it just doesn't seem to fit. The only female fantasy I have is wearing a wedding dress, but in all honestly I don't know if I want to wear one or if am just attracted to the women in the photos.

I'm more than happy to chat with you if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to just send me a message. You seem to be at a similar level of realization as myself right now, you're definitely not alone. (*hug*)

-Tardis

 

I'm a boy in all my dreams (apart from the ones where I'm inside a girl's mind, so imagining myself as Elsa, chell, Sarah Jane ect) but a girl in my masturbation fantasies. And in my daydreams I don't have a gender I'm just a person.