As well as questioning whether I'm lesbian/bisexual, I have rather mild social anxiety and terrible self-confidence. I'm not so bad that I'm a total recluse, but I tend to stay quiet unless spoken to, can be very socially awkward, constantly worrying about friends/family/work etc. A few acquaintances and my GP have suggested I take up counselling or therapy. Whilst I've always figured this will help me, I'm nervous because for a number of reasons: 1) Counsellors/therapists in my area cost about £45+ (about 80-90 USD) per session, sometimes with an optional cost for some kind of diagnosis. I'm worried about spending so much only for it not to work out. 2) To attend the sessions I will have to take time off work. I have an hour and half commute to/from the office and as such cannot make appointments during lunch or immediately after work. At the same time I'm worried that, for example, taking every Wednesday afternoon off for six weeks will look suspicious to both my colleagues and line manager and I'm not sure how much to disclose to them. 3) My family's reaction. I live at home with my parents and sister. I don't think my parents will be too happy to the idea of counselling/therapy. When I told my mom I was going to do some telephone sessions she seemed sceptical, probably because we associate therapy with people who have had terrible trauma and not someone with a more minor condition such as anxiety. I'm worried they will make me feel bad if they find out I'm taking time off work to attend sessions. I think I just need reassurance that this will all be worth the money, effort and time off. I really want to speak to my problems with someone that will understand, but as usual my anxiety is holding back. Can anyone help?
I know how scary it is to put out the money and time only for it to not work, but if you find the right therapist, it is well worth it. I started going to a therapist because I have anxiety as well. I also do have some other things going on, but the main reason was to help me with my social anxiety. That is a lot of money, and sometimes you don't get the "right" therapist on the first shot, so it may cost a bit more. But in my opinion it is well worth it if you can afford it. Even for such a "small" issue like anxiety. Which let me tell you, is not such a minor condition, anxiety can really affect your daily life. Try not to worry so much about what your coworkers will think. Trust me I know how hard that is. I actually take off every Wednesday for my therapist appointment. What I told my manager is that I have doctor's appointments. I'm not sure if you would be comfortable with that instead of "I'm going to my therapist," but that worked for me. And, you don't have to tell your coworkers anything, if they ask just tell them you need a personal day each week or something along those lines. Family's reaction is a tough one. My family was very supportive, so I'm not too sure how much help I'll be here. Therapy isn't only for people who have been through terrible trauma or people who have major depression or bipolar disorder, therapy can be for anyone who feels they need more help than they are getting. Like I said I started going because I have social anxiety not because of some "big" event that happened to me. Try to talk to your mom and let her know how important it is for you to try and get help for your anxiety as it sometimes affects your life - which is not good, not horrible, but not good. Try to explain that you feel this is something you would at least like to try and that it would be helpful if your family was behind you. Oh boy do I know that feeling. I waited so long to finally seek out a therapist, and when I did, I waited even longer to make any kind of appointment. I waited until I got to such a low point that I woke up one morning, emailed a therapist (because I'm terrified of the phone), and made an appointment. Sometimes you just have to do it. Like if at some point during the day, you feel like this weird boost of confidence, just set up an appointment. Then you pretty much have to do it. I hope I was at least somewhat helpful. Good luck and you got this!! (*hug*)
If your GP refers you, is it not covered by your health insurance? Just a thought. Or maybe your company has something available?
Thanks for both your replies. @waitwhat: Your response is fantastic. I do realise I have to take the plunge, I just don't want to feel the pangs of regret afterwards if it all falls through like when I've done things similar to this before. Yeah, I've been in contact with a few therapists already (via email as well) but backed out of booking an appointment, which made me feel bad afterwards. Fingers crossed I get that boost of confidence soon! I checked my private healthcare plan and it says six sessions of counselling are covered with GP referral. I have already been referred to an NHS mental health advisory service though- would be a bit awkward to see another GP and get another referral just to claim on my insurance. It just seems like a waste of time... There's also a counselling telephone service of some kind, but I'm not sure how big a benefit this will be either.:icon_sad:
You might inquire here for referrals, or sliding scales etc: Gay Counselling & Helplines, Support from PFLAG UK, Help for Parents, Friends, Family of Lesbians and Gays in the UK http://www.gaylifeuk.com/helplines-a-support-groups.html
6 sessions is not very long. As you are UK (?) your doctor could refer you for longer and free treatment but you may have to wait 6-9 months waiting list I would give it a try even if it for the 6 free sessions - so you can begin to address the various things going on inside. good luck!!
We can hold hands together while going to the therapist. :lol: My GP signed me up as well after my last episode of loneliness, self-hatred and strong suicidal thoughts. I don't know what's the deal with UK, but here up north, psycho therapy is free if it's recommended by a doctor. p.s. About the assurance, maybe you should assure me that everything will be okay.
If this helps, I told my parents that I was suffering from depression and needed a counselor to sort things out. They were concerned, as expected, but they allowed me to find a therapist. Hope this helps.
I know it's a scary step to make - but you also have to look at why you're doing it and the benefits. I started therapy about 7 years ago. My therapist at the time was nice, but more or less just kept me sane. I'm at a new one now, and it's like the sea has parted. She's great. So I can testify to how it takes time. You're vulnerable, so you might not think as clearly as you would if it was a regular physician checking out the bump on your foot. Many therapist's offer different rates, so feel free to inquire about that. Mine typically charges $100 but bumped me down to $75. I wish you the best of luck!
My psychologist charges me $75/hr, and it's really helped me a lot. I was at the point of suicide, so I needed outside help more than ever. You don't have to be direct with them at first, but I brought up that I had some orientation issues, and later that day I went into depression because of how stressed I was, so I found a psychologist and I'm still seeing her. It's great, I've been on the meds for 4 months now, and if it weren't for that, then I'd probably wouldn't be here right now (sounds extreme but true).
