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Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Sadd, Jan 17, 2015.

  1. Thelyingleo

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    Heya Sadd, I just wanted to add to the support and comfort coming your way. Thank you for being brave and posting your feelings & struggle, as so much of what you said I can relate to, and soo much of the support that was offered has helped me. Thank you, I'm here for you too, and sending support and comfort your way.
     
  2. nydtc

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    I can totally relate. At one point I said to my FWB -"I am just tired of having to struggle for everything". His response "funny, I don't view you as a struggler- I see you as a fighter".
    Sometimes all it takes is a new perspective.
    No for years I heard the phase- you need to love self before anyone else can love you. And I thought it was total BS. But as I get older- I see the truth in it.
    So you 5'8 - that means nothing.
    So you don't have hair - bald can be sexy.
    You deserve to be happy!
     
  3. tscott

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    You have my support as well.

    Joining a group was my salvation and opened my world up to all sorts of people - feminine/masculine, tall/short ( I'm 5'8" and never considered myself short), hirsute/smooth, rich/poor, old/young. Now granted it's a gay men's chorus, but between the new friends I found, EC, and a good therapist, I made it through my first year being out after a 25 year marriage.

    Good luck and my thoughts are with you. Give me a shout out any time.
     
  4. TTSP

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    I can relate to everything you said and even the way you've said it. You're living my life :icon_sad:!

    I don't know what to say to you... I've come to the stage where I just have to submit to fate at least temporarily. The situation is ridiculous, but I don't believe in self pity either. Rather stand tall and proud, let the waves break and look them in the eye!

    For what it's worth I like bald men and tall men intimidate me. Also I like over 40s if they look after themselves. I think the thirties are the worst, not quite a rugged mature man but also not young and beautiful.

    You seem like a great guy. Congrats on all your many achievements!
     
    #24 TTSP, Jan 20, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2015
  5. ComplicatedSort

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    It's possible to end the life you've been living without ending your life entirely. That represents a third option which you might not have considered :slight_smile:

    I've been through more than one iteration of "the life I'm living just doesn't work". The answer for me was not suicide but transformation. Much more could change than I thought could. I was worth taking care of, I was worth being helped, it was permissible for me to find happiness.

    The tragedy would be turning away from starting down that road... you'd never know where it could have led. Sticking around offers at least the possibility of change... right?
     
  6. skiff

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    Hi,

    I came out 2013, moved back to the where I wss from, no job,little money, family that said they would help me bailed, problem after problem. I am still here, still kicking, and I have met straights and gays far worse off than me who are still kicking. I have learned more through this situation than any college can teach...

    [​IMG]
     
    #26 skiff, Jan 22, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2015
  7. Yossarian

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    The average height for men is around 5'9" so you aren't any different from most men in that regard. Men who are naturally bald, a strong secondary sex characteristic, are also often hairy elsewhere, something that turns a lot of gay men on because of the virility it suggests as one of nature's visual signals of high levels of testosterone; if you don't like that look, then there is Rogaine (minoxidil) as well as Dr Bosley or the hair club for men. Enough about the visuals; there are people who like every kind of different look; you just need to find one who likes you for who you are inside and likes or doesn't care about the way you look on the outside, even if you decide to spruce it up a bit.

    The bigger problem which you have identified for us is that you are, at the moment, depressed rather than proactive about solving the problem of the isolation you feel. There is therapy and there are medications to address that problem. You need to seek the help of a good therapist who can work with you to address the depression problem which is distracting you from using your administrative and business skills to address the isolation problem. There are many ways to do that, as people who have done so on this site will be happy to describe in terms of their own personal experiences. You need to take the first step right now and find a therapist you can work with confidentially in your area. Make that your primary goal for now, as a first step, and forget about that suicide nonsense; you are a successful businessman; you have money and resources; a lot of gay men like that kind of take charge personality; you know how to organize things and get them done; start working on it today. :thumbsup:
     
  8. quietman702

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    Hello Sadd,
    I too suffer from severe depression and many of the issues you express hit home with me. I can't encourage you enough to seek help, I thought of suicide daily until just a few months ago. Now through counseling and meds, I'm doing better... still have major self acceptance issues but not as much despair.
    Sending love your way,
    John