would those with a disability please stand up?

I'm not technically disabled, but I have chronic health conditions that affect my functioning. Sometimes I am able to do well and do just about as much as other people, but other times I can barely manage to get through the day. Immune deficiency, depression, severe anxiety. IBS as well, though that is more managed lately. I've kind of learned finding a balance is very important for me in my life, and that I need much more down time than most people in order to function at a "normal" level. At the same time once I've come out of being sick for awhile I often feel a renewed sense of life, which is not so bad I suppose.

 

I can try to understand why your parents thought you should only date people in similar situations. Their concern was misplaced though. As you've proven. It reminds me of how some people say it must be impossible for me to get laid because of my short height. It's a different kettle of fish, but I never restricted myself to dating people around my height.

I think I understand what you're talking about with balance in relationships. It's good to combine strengths and counter weaknesses. The main thing is you're both happy and getting something out of the relationship. My boyfriend is more reserved than anything. When he said he was scared of losing me, I made it clear that locking me out would be playing hard to get. That sounds more creepy than intended. He reminds me to plan/think more and I've helped him out of his shell. To most people, it would look like I'm the one with ADHD!

And do some people really think that disabled people don't want sex? That's a new one to me! I know a disabled guy with very similar sexual preferences (BDSM) to my own and he's found a way to make it work for him. Actually, I found that he has an interesting perspective since he's focused on psychological sadism (he can't walk a great distance and various other things) and I'm more of a physical sadist. Okay, that might be way too much information, but it needs to be said that disabled people can have as varied sexual preferences as able-bodied people.

 

I have no disability, nor any serious health problems. But some years ago, I broke my spine, and I thought I would have a disability from then on. Eventually, with surgery and years of physical therapy, I went back to "normal". However, I have scoliosis, some areas I don't feel on my legs, sometimes my lower back and legs hurt (nothing too bad), and I run in my own clumsy way. My point is that I've been close to that and I have some mild stuff to remind me, so I'm pretty familiar with the idea of disability.
Also, when it comes to the issue of relationships and sex, I really find some people with disabilities attractive (and I'm thinking about a specific girl as I'm writing this, lol). It's a characteristic, neither a turn-off or a turn-on. It all depends on the person.

 

I've only ever been officially diagnosed with ADD/ADHD (the mental health workers can't ever decide which it is, and some of them say the two have been combined -- the hell?), but I think they just wanted an easy thing to slap me with, years ago.

I suspect there are some other issues, but it isn't easy to just casually bring them up, at least not offline. Not because I couldn't, but because the looks and the lack of proper understanding, even amongst the so-called professionals. I'll semi-quote the movie Jaws on this:

"You yell 'depressed', everybody says, 'Huh, what?'. You say 'psychopath', we've got a panic on our hands..."​

While I'm not 100% sure that's what I could be, looking back at my past, and some of my perceptions of the world, it does seem to be the frontrunner in explanation.

 

I have Cerebral Palsy. I'm able to walk on my own and all that but I still have troubles. I can't walk as far as most people or my legs will lock up, my tendons will tighten and will stay like that for a few days. I can think pretty clearly in my head but when it comes to speaking I have a hard time processing words. I'm alright with it though, I know that it I could've ended up a lot worse. My parents where told that I wasn't going to walk or talk for the rest of my life and I can do both.

I'll also add that I have Schizoaffective Disorder (I thought this was about physical disabilities until I scrolled up the post) and it takes a huge toll on me. I try my best not to go overboard and to control it which I do fine most of the time but on the inside, it gets pretty bad. Luckily, I'm interested in art and sports which are both very therapeutic for me.

 

I'm legally blind. I was born with ROP the same thing Stevie Wonder has except I have had multiple surgeries. I hate having to ask my date for help because I can't go walking down a dim movie isle, I can't read fast food menus, and I can't drive. Even when I read I need special fonts or gadgets along with several pairs of glasses so I don't look like I'm making out with a book. On top of that "Not being able to go grocery shopping without getting major headaches to find stuff" isn't exactly wife material. My eyes are pretty in color but I can't control how lazy one of them is and it's embarrassing. Just gotta work with what you have though.

 

While my ASD is technically a disability I don't see it as such.

 

I am deaf, although I do nit consider that a disability at all. I suspect I have some form of social anxiety and ADD, but my parents don't give a crap.

 

I think it makes a lot of sense. While I'm not physically limited like you I have a lot of trouble with basic things in life at times. I worry about putting too much on someone if I were to get into a relationship, or relying on them all the time. I dated a close friend for awhile who had similar mental health issues, however, thinking we could understand and thus help eachother. Unfortunately, it was a disaster because his issues just ended up feeding into my own. I can see, however, how finding someone might need some help in areas different to your own could work very well, because then you are creating a dynamic where you can use your own strengths to assist with their weaknesses, and vice versa, instead of (as it was in my case) just pairing weakness with weakness.

 

Aside from major depression and GAD, the only thing I might be able to say is I'm half deaf. I also have NF1, but it hasn't affected my health in a severely dramatic way as far as I know (though I think someone around me has a hunch that the NF1 is the cause for my deafness). My cousin has NF as well, but I think it's type 2 and has problems when her spine.

 

Aye. I have neurofibromatosis type 2, so I have benign brain and spinal tumours that cause all kinds of delightful things. I've used a cane since I was 16 because my vestibular system straight up doesn't work and my balance is therefore terrible. Also leads to creppy eyesight, constant tinnitus, and sometimes the kind of fatigue that makes it hard just to roll over in bed.

People don't generally treat me too differently as far as I know, though I'm a bit annoyed at the "brave little soldier" routine. What I hate is the fact that I'm convinced I'm "not disabled enough", I'm not in a chair, I can work part-time. My sister has the same condition and is affected much worse, so I tend to feel like I need to be the healthy one.

 

No, she doesn't know. She's a friend of my best friend. I told him and he insists she's straight because she had a boyfriend. But something in the way she talked and smiled to me when we met, makes me think there is some possibility that she's not. After all, I've had boyfriends, too. So I've been bugging him to go out, the three of us. :lol:

It is reasonable. LGBT people face certain challenges, so they are probably more accepting and they identify more easily with other groups of people who also face challenges. Also they tend to have abolished certain taboo and stereotypes.

 

My CP does limit me in some ways but I always try to look on the bright side. Like, I do not see well enough to drive but think of how much money I'll save by not having a car! I have what is called upper arm spasticity. My right hand, all my fingers are tightened and kind of look funny but you wouldn't notice much. When people do ask me about it, I say that my mom ran over it with the car I have very little functionality of that hand. When I was a kid I had to wear a brace on my right foot as well.

I have had six eye surgeries, a heel cord lengthening on my right foot to make it stay flat, and a tendon transfer to make my right wrist straight.

Because of how bad my vision has become over the past year, I've had to use my white cane again. I HATE it! I feel like people think I'm a freak and retarded. I definitely have an internalized hatred of myself because of my disability.

 

Great posts. I'm a gay dude in a wheelchair. I was born with a rare birth defect called Osteogenesis Imperfecta. Basically, I have brittle bones.

I've known for years that I was gay, but up until recently (I just turned 31) I've been in the closet. I finally came out to almost all of my friends last year, and they've all been incredibly accepting and awesome about it..

I think in some ways though, my disability made it harder for me to come out -- I can't help but think, disabled AND gay... what a match, but at the same time I've never let my disability stop me from doing whatever I want, I have a lot of great friends, an active social life, work, etc, but this is just one of those things that was much harder for me to come to terms with than anything else.

That said, I think in a lot of ways disabled people are kind of overlooked in terms of dating / having a sex life. Fact is, I would LOVE to have a boyfriend and keep waiting for the day I find the right guy. I hope it will eventually happen...

I live in a small town with very few gay people, so that in itself is a challenge, but I will say that any of the gay people I personally know are very nice and non-judgmental when it comes to my "condition".

 

I have a visual impairment and slight hearing impairment, the hearing is not documented but i know i have it