Does anyone else pre-HRT (or not) feel like when they present themselves as the gender they feel, they feel like theyre "playing a part" because they dont have the body they want to see themselves in? Kind of like the feeling when youre forced to present as your gender assigned at birth. Because I feel this way a lot. I am a trans man and when I present as male, I feel comfortable and confident, but then I see someone who knows I have a female body and I feel like I'm lying or I'm just pretending to be a boy. Is this just another form of dysphoria or am I actually lying without fully knowing it? I also have really bad anxiety so could this be from the anxiety too? I don't have dysphoria a lot recently and I've ealized why: When I am alone, I see myself as male. I look in the mirror and I see a boy. My breasts and curves dont bother me so much until I remember that "cis" men dont have these things, and I remember that no one else sees me as male. Then, I feel ridiculous for presenting as male when everyone I know has known me for years as female. I get embarrassed that I dress male because of this. I'm afraid people will make fun of me or think I'm crazy for trying to look like a guy. Does it seem like I might be lying to myself about being trans? Or that i've convinced myself to think that?
I don't have anything wise or helpful to add to this, but I just want to say I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.
Yes, I know this feeling very well. That's why it took me quite a lot of time to accept that I'm trans.
I don't really feel this, I feel fairly confident in being a male, even towards people who know me as a female. I feel so much more confident, comfortable and happy and I don't feel like I'm playing a part at all. It feels so natural to me. I'm sorry you feel this way, hopefully it'll get better for you. (*hug*)