1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by skylarNY, Jan 13, 2015.

  1. skylarNY

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Does anyone else pre-HRT (or not) feel like when they present themselves as the gender they feel, they feel like theyre "playing a part" because they dont have the body they want to see themselves in? Kind of like the feeling when youre forced to present as your gender assigned at birth. Because I feel this way a lot. I am a trans man and when I present as male, I feel comfortable and confident, but then I see someone who knows I have a female body and I feel like I'm lying or I'm just pretending to be a boy. Is this just another form of dysphoria or am I actually lying without fully knowing it? I also have really bad anxiety so could this be from the anxiety too?
    I don't have dysphoria a lot recently and I've ealized why: When I am alone, I see myself as male. I look in the mirror and I see a boy. My breasts and curves dont bother me so much until I remember that "cis" men dont have these things, and I remember that no one else sees me as male. Then, I feel ridiculous for presenting as male when everyone I know has known me for years as female. I get embarrassed that I dress male because of this. I'm afraid people will make fun of me or think I'm crazy for trying to look like a guy.
    Does it seem like I might be lying to myself about being trans? Or that i've convinced myself to think that?
     
  2. SkyColours38

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2012
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oxford, UK/Putney VT, USA
    I don't have anything wise or helpful to add to this, but I just want to say I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL.
     
  3. TacobellKFC

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2014
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    a little to the left behind the tree
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Me too...it worries me that im just a joke trying to fit in...i hate these doubts..
     
  4. NekoAlex

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Bulgaria
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yes, I know this feeling very well. That's why it took me quite a lot of time to accept that I'm trans.
     
  5. Miiaaaaa

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2013
    Messages:
    1,833
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wales
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Out Status:
    A few people
    (*hug*) All too well. (*hug*)
     
  6. Mischief

    Mischief Guest

    I don't really feel this, I feel fairly confident in being a male, even towards people who know me as a female. I feel so much more confident, comfortable and happy and I don't feel like I'm playing a part at all. It feels so natural to me.

    I'm sorry you feel this way, hopefully it'll get better for you. (*hug*)